(Closed) Tossing around ideas, need input

posted 9 years ago in Reception
  • poll: What would you do in this situation?
    Married couples together, S&K together, P&F together : (3 votes)
    18 %
    Married couples together, S&F together (since they know each other a little), P&K together : (1 votes)
    6 %
    Married couples together, S&K together, P & F with their respective SOs : (3 votes)
    18 %
    Married couples together, S, K, P and F all choose a partner of their choice : (2 votes)
    12 %
    Abandon the idea all together : (8 votes)
    47 %

    17 votes

    • Post # 1
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Mrs. Espresso recently posted that they invited their wedding party to join them halfway through their first dance. Unlike Mrs Espresso, I love to dance, but, I HATE having all eyes on me, so I loved her idea!

    (For the record, we’re really far away from our wedding, and this is totally me thinking ahead/over worrying, and I know that.)

    Here’s the thing… our wedding party, as it currently stands, looks like it’ll be 2 married couples (yeah, I know! cool, right?), one engaged guy (P), a single guy (S), a single girl (K) and a lesbian in a long term committed relationship (F).

    P, K, F and S don’t know each other, except that F and S both went to college with me, so they have met several times; none of the others have met.

    Do you think it’s weird to ask our wedding party to dance with each other if they don’t really know each other/have significant others? I’m mostly concerned about P and F, P because his fiance tends to be the jealous type, and F because she’s kind of anti-men and I can’t imagine her dancing with some guy she doesn’t really know. 

    Do you think it’s asking too much for them to dance with each other for half a song? Or would it be better to ask them to bring a partner of their choice? That might be awkward for S and K, both of whom are coming from out of town (K is my cousin and won’t know any non-relatives) and probably won’t have dates with them.

    Ultimately, I’ll ask them what they all think, but what would you do?

    1. Married couples together, S&K together, P&F together

    2. Married couples together, S&F together (since they know each other a little), P&K together

    3. Married couples together, S&K together, P & F with their respective SOs (at least 2/3 of my relatives will freak out when they find out one of my best friends is a lesbian, but I’m not SUPER concerned, because I don’t think they’ll make a scene at the wedding, I’ll just have to hear about it for years to come)

    4. Married couples together, S, K, P and F all choose a partner of their choice

    5. Abandon the idea all together

    Post # 3
    Member
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee

    I voted abandon the idea. Are the single Bridesmaid or Best Man and Groomsmen not allowed to bring dates? They may have gotten into a relationship by then. I wouldn’t want to just sit there while my date or husband dances with the wedding party. Could you have your parents join you?

    Post # 4
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I voted to abandon the idea. I know you have anxiety about having all eyes on you, but I felt as if our first dance was the only time we had to ourselves without someone interrupting us or making us pose for something. It was just me and my hubby out there having the first private conversation of the day. It was wonderful.

    Also, I’ve been in bridal parties where we’ve had to dance with our escort, and it’s awkward to say the least. Especially when you don’t know the other person. I think your married couples will be fine, but the others might feel a little awkward. If they all know each other and are friends and can actually carry on a conversation with each other, then that’s fine, but just be sensitive to them as well. I think you’ll find that you won’t have time to worry about everyone staring at you b/c you’ll be staring at your shiney new husband :o)

    Post # 5
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @jacqi – our entire wedding party is coming in from out of town, mostly a minimum five hour flight. I expect P and F to bring their SOs, but I would guess K and S will both come alone, since they’ll know others (K will know family, S will know other friends), just because it’d be crazy to ask someone to fly across the wedding just for a wedding. 🙂

    Post # 6
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I like the idea of having the wedding party join you halfway through your song.  Sometimes first dances can get really long, so this takes out the need for another entire song for the wedding party to dance to.

    Post # 7
    Member
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    The wedding party will be able to handle dancing together for 1/2 a song.  I think it’s a cute idea and will also help bring other people to the dance floor when the song ends (because the wedding party’s SO’s/dates will come out to the floor to dance with their partners!

    Post # 8
    Member
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I vote abandon the idea UNLESS everyone brings an SO. Otherwise i could see it being awkward.

    And honey, everyone will be staring at you anyways! BUT, i don’t think people watch the B&G dance as much as we all think they do. I tend to watch for like 15 seconds, have my “aw sweet” moment, then go back to chatting wtih my table. I doubt they’ll watch you for the full 3 solid minutes. Don’t even worry about it!!!

    I went to a wedding in October where a bridesmaid was a lesbian and started dancing with one fo the other bridesmaids (i was told by the groom she was a lesbian but she also had a 1 month old baby with her) and i don’t think anybody cared beyond “oh they’re lesbians’ and moved on with other “gossip” if that’s even what you want to call it.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    ejs – I don’t think anyone in my generation will blink twice at F and her girlfriend (I don’t like calling her girlfriend, because I think if they could, they’d be married by now), unfortunately some of my older relatives are downright closeminded 🙁 My one set of grandparents is also really racist… they’re upset that J is half Korean. I don’t take their opinions to heart because I know they’re being idiots, but I would hate for them to make a scene for the sake of our homosexual friends who will be in attendance.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I like the idea too, but it sounds like a lot of work unfortunately… so I vote to abandon it, or revamp it, like maybe invite all married couples? Or your parents?

    Post # 11
    Member
    14183 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Wow you think they’d make a scene? how sad. Well, this wedding had a BUNCH of older people (super old, some wearing, um, trucker hats and jeans? So i think it’s safe to say there were lots of conservative people there) and no fuss was made. Trust me, i understand the racism–my dad’s mom HATED my mom for years b/c she’s half korean. She openly expressed happiness that Darling Husband is very white. Polish/german in fact. Oye vez.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    ejs – yeah, my family makes me sad. some of my relatives are awesome, but others? big fat *sigh* What can you do though? We talk about it, but at some point it becomes going around in circles and it’s easiest not to bring it up until they do something unacceptable.

    The topic ‘Tossing around ideas, need input’ is closed to new replies.

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