(Closed) Tossing the bouquet…

posted 8 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 33
Member
20 posts
Newbee

I plan on skipping the bouquet toss and doing a married couples dance instead.  Whatever couple has been married the longest will get the bouquet!

Post # 34
Member
1434 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I’m doing it, but I’m making ALL women stand there for it because most women I know are married already. And if a married person catches it, then it just means she needs to get to planning a vows renewal. 

Post # 35
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I hate bouquet tosses when I’m a guest, so I will not be doing one. (No garter toss either.)

I do sort of love the idea of attaching a $100 gift card to it though and inviting everyone out! That is a totally different twist and would make it pretty exciting. Still don’t think I’ll do it (I’m too cheap, haha), but that is an awesome way to do it.

Post # 36
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

We’re not doing this. It’s just embarrassing for people. We’re also not doing the garter toss.

Post # 37
Member
977 posts
Busy bee

I think doing that at weddings is tacky, too traditional.  Times are changing. more people are doing without some of the traditional events at weddings these days.

Post # 38
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Im also skipping it and going with giving my bouquet to the couple married the longest

Post # 39
Member
2597 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@sasi:  During my single years, I really rather loathed the bouquet toss and typically quietly sat them out.

That said, if you want to do it, do it.  Just don’t pressure (or allow your DJ to pressure) anyone to participate. 

Post # 40
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m thinking of adding a twist.  Maybe getting a couple of $5 or $10 gift cards, telling everyone who wants to is welome to play, married or not, and awarding the catcher with the gift card.

Although I am liking the idea of giving it to the couple who’s been married the longest 🙂

Oh great, another decision to make 🙂

Post # 41
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m 31, all the single women at my wedding will be over 30 or under 15, and be like a total of 5 ladies, so I’m not going to do it.

Post # 42
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I have never liked this tradition.  I think instead of doing this choose someone special and honor them.  If that is the couple that has been married the longest, closest to your date, or just special to you and your FH.  

I am going to honor my parents by playing their first dance song from their wedding in 1975.  It is a complete surprise to them.

Good luck!

Post # 43
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@PGsHotBride:  I know that you wrote this 9 months ago, but can we please be best friends? You took everything there right out of my mouth.

I also just want to add that going to weddings when you are single can be awkward and sometimes depressing – why make it worse by “singling” out single women in such a degrading manner (“Oh, who cares about your high-flying career – all we see here is that you don’t got a MAY-UN and hence must be desperate to trample over all these other singletons for a bouquet.”). I would hide in the bathroom every time Beyonce or bouquet toss (or both at same time) was going on at the weddings I went to. Don’t make your guests feel they need to hide in a bathroom. Embarassed

Post # 44
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m not tossing the bouquet for 2 reasons 1) my social anxiety and 2) embarrassment for the single girls. Having been the single gal at weddings it was never a pleasant experience. Relatives would pressure me to go catch the bouquet telling me how i’m not getting any younger. It was a humiliating experience for me and usually after the wedding i would be in tears. I’m not a professional or independent. I don’t have a career, only a job to pay the bills, and my goal in life was always to be married and have babies so i guess i was one of those desperate single girls, and the bouquet toss only magnified. Made it worse that relatives knew how lonely i was, and would still comment on me being single. Weddings and the bouquet toss were absolute torture for me. I decline most bridal showers and weddings unless its for someone really close to me where my absence would be noticed. Only time I liked the bouquet toss was at a relative’s wedding when i was 10 and caught the bouquet. At that age it was cute the little girl catching the bouquet. But at 25 and on i think its embarrassing to single out those who are still single.

 

Post # 45
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
@MrsNewDay:  Lol, totally.  I am one of the last of my single friends at age 33 (will be 34 at the wedding), and it was already obnoxious to be “called out” to the dance floor to catch flowers to try to make me feel desperate to get married.

My friend got married, I was around 30 and a bridesmaid, and when that Beyonce song came on, she pointed to me and made me dance.  Please.

My sister got married (for the third time), and she just walked over and handed me the bouquet as I was the only single person.  It was a very small wedding but still made me feel on-the-spot as everyone watched.

No bouquet toss for me.  No garter either probably.

Post # 46
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@sasi:  If anyone feels uncomfortable about it, they don’t need to participate.

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