Post # 1
I’m done. so over everything right now, I can’t even breath. Sorry this is going to be sorta long…
Tomorrow at 7am my Dad is undergoing Cancer surgery.. After 2 years of treatment etc, Docs have decided to take out his bladder due to the cancer. WHile undergoing chemo he had a minor heart attack (he’s had 2 before) and ended up getting a pacemaker (2 months ago) and now this huge surgery tomorow. I’m very close to my parents and very much a ‘daddy little girl’ (without the spoiled entitlement syndrom). obviously I’m really upset, or anxious, nervous, scared. Not to mention its exactly 31 days to my wedding. We dont know if he can walk me down the aisle or not. so thats issue one lol
Issue 2 is my effing brother. Step brother. Dad was married before he married mom. ACTUALLY, parents met in 6th grade, dated til 12th grade, broke up. Dad married on rebound and had step brother, got divorced and married mom 7 years later. Been married 43 years :). Anyway.. my brother is an ex druggie and been in jail more than out of. He’s been clean for 7 years tho (he’s 48 and I’m 36). So He had a rough time with his real mom, so was a crack head andused to abuse him until the courts FINALLY awarded my parents custody. ANyway.. he always thinks he’s everything. He makes everything about him. Dads super sick and I’ve taken off 4 months to take care of Dad, he does nothing. Mom and I do EVERYTHING. bro can’t go to hospital because he can’t stand to see dad like that. I have a hard time too but damn ITS NOT ABOUT ME!! He has a gf who my mom and i DESPISE. She tells my bro to ask my parents for money to pay for her meds (both on disbility for a horrible accident). and then when we say no he gets mad and runs to my dad and whines til my dad gives in. they treat my dad like a taxi and when dad put an end to it, they resented him for it. Now I’m VERY blunt and I take NO BS. So of course bro and I have gone a few rounds. a month ago he called my mom a bitch (after he stole from us for years, she fed him, raised him and has done everything for him), I stopped the car and made him get out. Heran to my dad crying that I was a bitch, but never told dad why i did it. a few weeks ago we had it out over money and he calls me a cu**. I screamed “you’re just like your mom”. Once again he called Dad and told him that mom and I dont love him. His gf isnt our resposability, paying all his shit isnt either. He could care less that dads sick, and still brings the drama to him to deal with. He resents me because I’m the golden child he calls me. NEVER done a drug, dont’ drink much, college degree, was asked to play with an california university music program when I was 12. He says that I never screw up so i make him look bad. WTF???
Yesterday he said that mom and I are bitches and he wasnt coming over to help with shit (meaning help dad after he has cancer surgery). No biggie.. He never helped to start with!!!!
So tired of drama. I can’t do this shit anymore. My dad is my focus and making sure he’s ok, my wedding in 4 weeks and oh yeah… keeping myself sane!!
thanks for the vent all XOXOX
Post # 3
(((hugs)))) Your stepbrother sounds really toxic. Good riddance to him. Focus on your dad, I hope his surgery goes well tomorrow! You sound like a great daughter, just keep being who you are, that’s all you can do. Good for you for standing up to your stepbrother, you can’t enable him and his behaviour. He needs to learn a lesson. More ((hugs)) because you definitely need them. I’ll be sending happy thoughts to you and your family tomorrow!
Post # 4
Wow. I’m sorry you have to deal with your crazy brother on top of everything. Can’t believe after everything he could be so selffish and mean to you guys. Forget him, time to focus on your dad. Hope everything goes well tomorrow and a speedy recovery.
Post # 5
Sorry you are going through so much right now, with such a A hole as a brother. You might try al anon since it sounds like a lot of this stems from his drug/alcohol abuse problems. Al anon is for family members who deal with these issues, and it can be very validating to go and hear that what your brother is doing is not unique, but a sign of his addiction.
He may be over his actual drug abuse, but he still manipulates like an addict.
I hope you can find some support to help you get through this.
Post # 6
I do not know what to say other than we love you ! 🙂
Post # 7
I’m sorry : ( I hope things with your Dad go smoothly. My Dad is also in poor health and we don’t think he will be able to walk me down the aisle, so I feel your pain.
I would just ignore your brother. It doesn’t sound like he’s the kind of person anyone needs to be around right now. He will only do more harm than good. Don’t give him any more fuel for the fire, basically.
Post # 8
Thank you all *HUGS*
Rachael432, I’m so sorry you have the same issue. Hopefully there’s an alternative. If Dad can’t walk were using a scooter lol or.. I’ll walk down 3/4 of the way and he will meet me a few steps from the ‘alter’ *hugs* to you as well
Its almost like a no win situation. My Dad wonders why he doesnt come over. Bro wont come over if he, mom and I or any combo of have had it out with him, that upsets dad not to see his other child. Bro is just a huge ass, irritates me to see all my parents have done and he could careless. I blocked his # from my phone as well as blacklisted his texts (Love handcent sms!! lol). He wont care about how dad is doing to call the hospital, he will just bitch that no one ever called him to tell him how surgery went.
WIll keep you updated on Dad, Thank you!!
Post # 9
Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all this. Your step-bro sounds like he’s a major stress-causer and that sucks. I can totally relate to you about being daddy’s little girl and having to watch your aging parents go through health problems (my dad’s had a heart attack, too). It’s so scary. Hang in there and I’m wishing you and your family all the best and praying for your dad. 🙂
Post # 10
Everything turned out good 🙂 He’s doing great for what he had done and its being closely monitored in ICU.
Brother texted me once to ask how he was, I said ‘asleep’. Didnt want to text him at all but before surgery dad asked if I would text brother. didnt hear from him at all today, but found out that he had called the hospital to ask how dad was.
Post # 11
I’m so glad the surgery went well. 🙂 My future father in law had bladder surgery a couple of months ago to get rid of some polyps in his bladder… everything went fine with his as well and he was back home the next day, though later had to return to the hospital.
Advise your dad to stay as long as necessary and rest at the hospital. If his is anything like my father in law’s, he should be able to walk you down the aisle no problem. 🙂
Post # 12
I am glad to hear that your father’s surgery went well.
Post # 13
@BonbonBunny: I told him I’d wheel him down with me lol. I didnt care as long as the cancer was out 🙂
All is going good!
Post # 14
@Sn2bMrs.B: *hugs* your step brother sounds exactly like my aunt. hell maybe they are related lol wishing you the best and best wishes for your dad. dont let the crazy person get you down.
Post # 15
I think you are right to focus on your dad right now. I want to tell you, my dad had cancer and went through a similar surgery. It’s been a few years now and he is doing great. It did take a while to recover but once he got used to it, he is still my dad and can basically do all the same things as before. I will keep him im my thoughts for a quick recovery!