(Closed) total disbelief..

posted 5 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I was not thrilled when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter.  I was on BC and absolutely shell shocked.  It took me awhile to come around.  

I just told my husband casually, like I was commenting on the weather.  He still laughs about it.  I was just in shock.  

Don’t feel guilty.  Babies are a big life change.  It’s okay to be shocked, scared, thrilled, upset, or any combination of the above.

Post # 4
Member
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Don’t beat yourself up.  It’s a major life change so being nervous or in shock is normal.  Just because you are not over the moon now doesn’t mean you won’t be.  It seems like you’ve wanted a baby it’s just the timing is off right now.  Give it time, you may feel better. 

Post # 5
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Haha, we were even TRYING to get pregnant and when that second line popped up on the test the first thing I thought was, “OMG, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!”  It’s completely normal to feel like that, I mean, it is a pretty scary ordeal creating a life that you are now responsible for for 20+ years!  Trust me when I say though that a pregnancy lasts a very long time and you will have plenty of time to adjust/prepare for a baby/ get very excited about it. 🙂 

CONGRATS by the way!  🙂

Post # 6
Member
1080 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh and I bet if/when you tell your husband, he will maybe be more excited than you if you guys weren’t “being careful” and he knew that this was a very real possibility.  I know my husband was very excited and I was like, OMG I knew I wanted this so bad, but now that it’s real I am so terrified! He has definitely been my rock through this entire pregnancy so far, every time I worry about something he is always the one who tells me that everything will be fine (and it always is).  I just shoved the pee stick in DH’s face because he was home when I tested, but had he not been, I would have loved to get him a little card that said something like “Can’t wait to meet you in 9 months Daddy!”  🙂

Post # 8
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Shock is completely normal! I was young and unmarried, even though I was in a relationship. She’s now a beautiful 20 year old. The shock will fade and you will make it work. If you ask many parents, no time is the ‘best time’ anyway. Congratulations!

Post # 9
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@cowgirlace:  I was exactly the same. We were actively trying and had been for 5 months but still had that same “OMG what have we done” moment. That second line makes it so real. I think it’s a good thing. It shows that it’s something you care so much about that you’re terrified of not doing a good job at it.

Post # 10
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Just wanted to echo the trying, but shocked experience. We knew exactly what we were doing, but my husband still found out because I was yelling “holy shit, holy shit” from the bathroom. There’s a big difference between knowing it could maybe happen and having it become a reality!

Try not to feel guilty about your feelings- the next 9 months are going to be full of uncertainty and second guessing yourselves, and it’s all totally normal. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel- you’ve got enough time to process it however you need to. Congratulations!

 

Post # 11
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@ames12708:  Congratulations!!

Our first pregnancy was unexpected. Total surprise. We were more like “what have we done?” that pregnancy ended in a m/c, but it really made us realize that we WERE ready to be parents.

Our 2nd BFP in December, I was so unsure of how Darling Husband would react. We were trying, not heavily, but still trying, but it still brings up so many emotions. I went to Babies R Us, bought a “baby on board” sign, stuck it to my car, and then drove to his jobsite. He was thrilled! 

Post # 12
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh yeah. We were ttc for 19 months and using the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist to get ku and I still was shocked more than instantly thrilled when the rest came up positive.  Partially I’d just figured it wasn’t going to happen for us “naturally”.  Even now at 28 weeks I have my moments of “what have we gotten ourselves into??” That make me feel super guilty. 

Post # 13
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

When I found out I was pregnant with my 5 year old I went into serious shock. So much so that the doctor told the nurse I was in shock when I didn’t respond to a question right away. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion and far away. I wasn’t excited but I wasn’t depressed. It’s a big shock to find out you are having a baby when you weren’t expecting or hoping to have one. When I told her father I just walked in the door and dropped the piece of paper in his lap. It was about 8am and I said “So I’m pregnant” to which he replies “You’re not pregnant, go away” shoved the paper to the side and went back to sleep. Needless to say I left the loser.

My husband says he will be very happy if we get pregnant although we weren’t necessarily trying until like yesterday, which we aren’t trying still just not trying to not try. Just letting nature take its course basically.

Don’t feel guilty, the shock will go away after you hear the heartbeat, see the little one in there or feel the first kick. The excitement will kick in before you know it. Just don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s natural to be shocked when you weren’t planning for it.

Post # 15
Member
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was shocked when I found out. I POAS 3 times all negative but because I was feeling so bad I called my doc and she had me take a blood test. I called to get my results and when the nurse said I was pregnant I asked her if she was sure at least 5 times. I called Darling Husband and told him. He was shocked but excited. I had to go back to work and called him while on my way to lunch. He kept laughing at me because he said I didn’t sound like I truly believed I was pregnant. And it felt weird telling people that I was pregnant too… like part of me never believed it. When I had my first ultrasound I was still in shock. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that there was a person growing inside of me. I’m 30 weeks now and I can’t believe that she’ll be here soon. So I still have my moments of disbelief. Oart of me feels it won’t be real until she is in my arms.

Post # 16
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@cowgirlace:  LOL I’m with you! Our second cycle off the pill and weren’t really trying but not not trying and BAM BFP.  I was like F**k what have we done?!

Then the first trimester BLEW and I was really annoyed with myself and thinking I did not want this.  I am really starting to feel better now and seeing a bit of a bump which is exciting. 

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