Post # 1
I think I’m in shock…I feel so terrible because I am completely numb…and honestly I am still not sure it’s real….it certainly doesn’t feel real.
We haven’t been actively “trying” but not preventing either. It’s come at a really weird time..we’re right in the middle of trying to buy a house and this is about the most random time it could possibly happen.
Haven’t told anyone yet, just took this test at 3:30pm today, then took another at 4:15 which looks identical. I took another because I was positive I did something wrong….I guess not.
Has anyone else experienced this initial feeling of just not being full of joy (like I always imagined I would be) but also not being sad…I feel so, shocked, it’s just so unexpected…I’ve taken so many BFNs that I never dreamed for a second this would be anything different I just always feel like I should check when I’m late…
Just wow, this is not how I pictured my day going at all…
Idk how my husband is going to feel…I think at first exactly how I do, just total total shock…
Anyone else gone through this? How did you get past the guilt of not feeling over the moon thrilled? (I feel so underserving because I know how much people covet those lines. I’ve sobbed over BFNs in the past few months….)
If you weren’t sure how your husband would take it at first..how did you tell him?
Post # 3
I was not thrilled when I got pregnant with my oldest daughter. I was on BC and absolutely shell shocked. It took me awhile to come around.
I just told my husband casually, like I was commenting on the weather. He still laughs about it. I was just in shock.
Don’t feel guilty. Babies are a big life change. It’s okay to be shocked, scared, thrilled, upset, or any combination of the above.
Post # 4
Don’t beat yourself up. It’s a major life change so being nervous or in shock is normal. Just because you are not over the moon now doesn’t mean you won’t be. It seems like you’ve wanted a baby it’s just the timing is off right now. Give it time, you may feel better.
Post # 5
Haha, we were even TRYING to get pregnant and when that second line popped up on the test the first thing I thought was, “OMG, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!?!” It’s completely normal to feel like that, I mean, it is a pretty scary ordeal creating a life that you are now responsible for for 20+ years! Trust me when I say though that a pregnancy lasts a very long time and you will have plenty of time to adjust/prepare for a baby/ get very excited about it. 🙂
CONGRATS by the way! 🙂
Post # 6
Oh and I bet if/when you tell your husband, he will maybe be more excited than you if you guys weren’t “being careful” and he knew that this was a very real possibility. I know my husband was very excited and I was like, OMG I knew I wanted this so bad, but now that it’s real I am so terrified! He has definitely been my rock through this entire pregnancy so far, every time I worry about something he is always the one who tells me that everything will be fine (and it always is). I just shoved the pee stick in DH’s face because he was home when I tested, but had he not been, I would have loved to get him a little card that said something like “Can’t wait to meet you in 9 months Daddy!” 🙂
Post # 7
@cowgirlace: Thanks it’s nice to hear that someone who was actively trying had some shock factor.
I think my biggest thing is that I just can’t believe it’s real. We always thought it would take us a long time to concieve due to a medical condition my husband has, lol it’s kind of humorous but I’ll let you fill in the blanks.
I keep thinking I’m going to wake up any minute, but I am pretty sure if I do wake up any minute I will feel disappointed it was only a dream. =]
Post # 8
Shock is completely normal! I was young and unmarried, even though I was in a relationship. She’s now a beautiful 20 year old. The shock will fade and you will make it work. If you ask many parents, no time is the ‘best time’ anyway. Congratulations!
Post # 9
@cowgirlace: I was exactly the same. We were actively trying and had been for 5 months but still had that same “OMG what have we done” moment. That second line makes it so real. I think it’s a good thing. It shows that it’s something you care so much about that you’re terrified of not doing a good job at it.
Post # 10
Just wanted to echo the trying, but shocked experience. We knew exactly what we were doing, but my husband still found out because I was yelling “holy shit, holy shit” from the bathroom. There’s a big difference between knowing it could maybe happen and having it become a reality!
Try not to feel guilty about your feelings- the next 9 months are going to be full of uncertainty and second guessing yourselves, and it’s all totally normal. Let yourself feel whatever you need to feel- you’ve got enough time to process it however you need to. Congratulations!
Post # 11
Our first pregnancy was unexpected. Total surprise. We were more like “what have we done?” that pregnancy ended in a m/c, but it really made us realize that we WERE ready to be parents.
Our 2nd BFP in December, I was so unsure of how Darling Husband would react. We were trying, not heavily, but still trying, but it still brings up so many emotions. I went to Babies R Us, bought a “baby on board” sign, stuck it to my car, and then drove to his jobsite. He was thrilled!
Post # 12
Oh yeah. We were ttc for 19 months and using the assistance of a reproductive endocrinologist to get ku and I still was shocked more than instantly thrilled when the rest came up positive. Partially I’d just figured it wasn’t going to happen for us “naturally”. Even now at 28 weeks I have my moments of “what have we gotten ourselves into??” That make me feel super guilty.
Post # 13
When I found out I was pregnant with my 5 year old I went into serious shock. So much so that the doctor told the nurse I was in shock when I didn’t respond to a question right away. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion and far away. I wasn’t excited but I wasn’t depressed. It’s a big shock to find out you are having a baby when you weren’t expecting or hoping to have one. When I told her father I just walked in the door and dropped the piece of paper in his lap. It was about 8am and I said “So I’m pregnant” to which he replies “You’re not pregnant, go away” shoved the paper to the side and went back to sleep. Needless to say I left the loser.
My husband says he will be very happy if we get pregnant although we weren’t necessarily trying until like yesterday, which we aren’t trying still just not trying to not try. Just letting nature take its course basically.
Don’t feel guilty, the shock will go away after you hear the heartbeat, see the little one in there or feel the first kick. The excitement will kick in before you know it. Just don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s natural to be shocked when you weren’t planning for it.
Post # 14
I am just realizing I’m totally not dreaming, but my husband was thrilled he literally could not stop smiling which made me feel 1000xs better. We’re both kind of giddy now. He’s making a grocery list of super health pregnancy foods it’s really cute! I’m so lucky =]
Post # 15
I was shocked when I found out. I POAS 3 times all negative but because I was feeling so bad I called my doc and she had me take a blood test. I called to get my results and when the nurse said I was pregnant I asked her if she was sure at least 5 times. I called Darling Husband and told him. He was shocked but excited. I had to go back to work and called him while on my way to lunch. He kept laughing at me because he said I didn’t sound like I truly believed I was pregnant. And it felt weird telling people that I was pregnant too… like part of me never believed it. When I had my first ultrasound I was still in shock. It was hard to wrap my head around the fact that there was a person growing inside of me. I’m 30 weeks now and I can’t believe that she’ll be here soon. So I still have my moments of disbelief. Oart of me feels it won’t be real until she is in my arms.
Post # 16
@cowgirlace: LOL I’m with you! Our second cycle off the pill and weren’t really trying but not not trying and BAM BFP. I was like F**k what have we done?!
Then the first trimester BLEW and I was really annoyed with myself and thinking I did not want this. I am really starting to feel better now and seeing a bit of a bump which is exciting.