(Closed) Totally blindsided by new husband's behavior – may be TMI

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 257
Member
2639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@Morose11:  I’m glad to see you decided to move on,  and I hope you are able to make peace with yourself about it soon. *hug*

Post # 258
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

To @Morose11:  Thanks for the UPDATE

I am happy to hear you are getting some one-on-one counselling.

I am sorry that it came to Divorce…

BUT more sorry to hear that you are having a hard time dealing (like I said in my original post Divorce sucks… it really & truly is the worst thing imaginable)

Hang in there… only time will heal this.

Take care ((((( HUGE HUGS )))))

— — —

PS… You might want to close this topic (go to the top of the first page to do that… and hit CLOSE TOPIC which appears right before you initial post).  Then create a NEW one with UPDATE in the title… in so much as your Original Post generated over 250 replies… I am sure that there will many many Bees who will want to post a reply to you and your news.

 

Post # 259
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Morose11:  you did not give up on your husband. He lied to you about a major issue until you were between a rock and a hard place having gotten married with religion a major player. Wildly unfair and manipulative. Don’t take on that guilt. 

Post # 260
Member
1953 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Morose11:  I’m sorry it came to this, but it’s not like there wasn’t a valid reason. Focus on you. You will get through this, with the help of all of us at the Bee. <3

Post # 261
Member
4430 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Morose11:  I am so sorry you’re still feel guilt over your choice to leave your husband. I really hope your therapist is able to help you see that you were a “victim” here. you trusted him. And he betrayed that trust.  I wish you all the best and genuine happiness and you deserve a normal life without wondering or worrying. 

Keep your head up. 

Post # 262
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Morose11:  So sorry to hear! Did you find out the underlying root of the problem? I mean, is this something he does as a fetish, or is it a psychological thing?

Post # 263
Member
2979 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wish you the best, OP. I don’t think I could stay with someone who did this without a valid, medical reason. And to, -excuse my expression-, dump this on you on your honeymoon was just vile. You stuck it out with this man for a year. You did NOT give up on your husband, he manipulated and tricked you into marrying him and only then, after it was all said and done, he decided to spring this little “oh by the way, I poop in diapers” on you. Time to move on and focus on you.

Post # 264
Member
534 posts
Busy bee

@Morose11:  Good for you for doing what you had to do. I hope he gets help and deals with his bizarre compulsion. It’s almost certainly anxiety related. As for you, you will recover and find happiness. I’m sorry your soon to be ex hijacked your life by keeping such a big secret.

Post # 265
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2002

@Morose11:  Are you sure he has bowel control?  The reason I question this is if he only preferred the diaper to have a Bridesmaid or Best Man in, then why didn’t he wait until he found a bathroom, use the diaper and then pitch it?  Why would he choose to release the Bridesmaid or Best Man, and walk around in it for 2 hours?  You couldn’t smell it?  He needs therapy.  I hope you stick with him and love him through this.  This is not a deal breaker.  He just needs some help.  

Post # 266
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Heidibrooke:  Walking around in it is part of the fetish… It’s absolutely a dealbreaker to not tell her about this fetish before the marriage. 

Post # 267
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2002

@laeuba:  i didn’t read ahead, so I didn’t know it was a fetish.  If that’s the case, I agree with you.  

Post # 268
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

@Morose11:  A contract isnt valid when someone lies about the terms! You didnt know you were marrying this. He didnt want to get help, what else is there to say!

 

You made the right choice, be compassionate and forgiving towards yourself. Do things that make you proud and happy- youll heal up and will eventually find a *healthy* relationship with man you love- And youll be thanking God and your lucky stars that you had the guts to walk!

 

 

 

all the best. 

 

Post # 269
Member
3682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Heidibrooke:  This is when it’s helpful to at least skim the thread before replying, as the OP came back 10 posts above yours and told us that she filed for divorce.

Post # 270
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2002

@cmbr:  I will consider myself advised.  I didn’t have time to read 7 pages.  It’s a forum, those things happen.  Even if I had, my reply is only an opinion.  Sure, I changed my opinion after learning more details, but some would still side against what she is doing.  Are you a forum moderator?  I don’t think I’ve broken any rules here. 

 

Post # 271
Member
1203 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2002

OP: I’m very sorry you’re dealing with such difficult emotions.  I can’t say I wouldn’t feel/do the same as you.  Please pardon me for replying before reading all the updates (as I’ve been called out on).  I am truly sorry you are going through this, but look up, brighter days will come for you!!  I wish you all the best!!

The topic ‘Totally blindsided by new husband's behavior – may be TMI’ is closed to new replies.

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