Totally depressed Merry Christmas

posted 2 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 2
5547 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
happycomelately :  

Did you go to the dean? Go to the dean and explain what happened, see if he/she can help.

It sounds like the teacher won’t be of any assistance to you, some teachers are just nightmares.

Can you look into a different school where you can get financial aid?

Is your learning disability documented? There has to be a way to fix the situation given your disability, schools are usually very helpful to those with disabilities.

Your life isn’t ruined, you’ve just hit a big road block, and I know the bees will have some great advice for you.

Post # 3
3250 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Go to the Dean. This is just a set back. I’m sure you can retake the class. I understand feeling down about it. If she gave you the grade you earned there isn’t much of a reason to be mad at her, over that. It’s annoying that she ignored you but pretty common with professors. Did she bump other student’s scores but not yours?

Post # 4
970 posts
Busy bee

There are plenty of processes in place to settle grade disputes, earn extra credit, etc. Go to the dean or an advisor or the department chair. Don’t talk about how much the teacher sucks, sucky teachers are a fact of college you’re going to need to learn to live with. Instead talk about how important this is to you and how hard you’ve worked and will continue to work. 

Also, go see your schools disability resource center. There are so many great programs for students with learning disabilities. Things like extra time on tests, free tutors, people who will take notes for you in class, etc. And in general it is very helpful to have a disability advocate to deal with painful teachers.

Finally, this may be hard to hear, but sometimes the best thing a teacher can do for a student is fail them if they truly don’t understand the material (which a 50 on the test sounds like you have more learning to do). It won’t be helpful if she passes you and you get to the next level and you’re completely lost because you don’t understand the fundamentals. I’ve been passed in classes I shouldn’t and it was horrible- I ended up choosing to retake the lower level class just to understand it better so I could pass the upper level class.

If I were you, I would propose the teacher gives you an incomplete for now and allows you to retake the test or do some kind of additional project. Take advantage of this month break from school to study, hire a tutor, and retake the tests when you are ready. 

Post # 5
1713 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

That sucks! I know it’s hard to go back right school.

Maybe you should speak to the Dean. I would write up a statement listing everything she’s done unemotionally. You can show how your learning disability effected the testing and that no accommodations were taken. 

Also be specific on when she told you to drop her class. That’s a sucky thing for a professor to tell you. 

Don’t necessarily submit the statement though. It will help you organize your thoughts and focus on her specific deficiencies and hopefully allow you to be unemotional when explaining to the Dean your concerns.

Just know that things will get better. You just need to get through these harder times. It’s okay to not be dating. I’ve gone year between dates before. In fact, before I asked out my Boyfriend or Best Friend, part of it was because I realized it had been almost 5 years since my last date. 

Just know that you can do it.

Post # 6
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m sorry you are going through this!! Hugs bee!!! I would absolutely take it to the Dean. Check all the facts, get the syllabus and any paperwork you were given from her about how grades would be decided. Do you have all your assignments, test grades, etc.? If not, ask for copies of everything in writing and copy yourself on it as well. Once you have all your grades, do the math for yourself and make sure she didn’t make a mistake. Then take everything to your dean and explain the situation. Tell him/her how hard you have been working, explain how close you are to recieving financial aid, and how hard this professor made this class for you. See what the dean says. 

Even if there is nothing that can be changed about this class, maybe the Dean has an idea or can guide you to information on financial aid. Also, the Dean needs to be made aware of this professor’s behavior. At the very least, discouraging someone from taking classes is not what a college professor should be doing. 

It’ll be ok bee. Hugs!

Post # 7
926 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
happycomelately :  go talk to your dean. Make sure you have a log of everything, dates you met her, things she said to you, how you responded. If you have learning disabilities, bring along medical letter certifying this from your doctor. Put them down in b&w. Include all your results n build a strong set of evidence that that professor is truly giving you problems. Include suggestions on what you hope to achieve from meeting the dean. Print a copy. Email a copy to your dean and request a meeting with him in person. CC his PA if he has one. If your college has student support, request help from them. If your advisor thinks you’ve been unfairly treated, request them to back you up to meet the dean. If they can write you a letter, request one.

Post # 8
377 posts
Helper bee

I’m really sorry bee. I know how stressful school can be and this is the last thing you need this time of year when its supposed to be a happy time. I would go talk to the dean. It does not hurt to try. I truly wish you luck!

Post # 9
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

If you feel you truly deserved higher grades on some assignments then bring the assignments with rubrics if available to the dean. Were you allowed accommodations for your learning disability. If so, were they met? If not, this is something you definitely should bring to the dean’s attention, especially if it accounts for the lower grades on some assignments. However, I would suggest you stop using language like “she didn’t give me .7 points” or “she gave me a 69.3”. You won’t recieve much sympathy from educators because it makes it seem like it’s her responsibility for you to pass instead of yours.  If you made a 50 on the final exam then that probably shows that you aren’t ready for the next level, no matter how long you studied each day. It sucks that you were that close to passing and that you lost your financial aid because of it. I would still appeal to the dean, but if you must retake the class see it as an opportunity to relearn what you didn’t this time around. If you struggled this much in a pre-req class then you would likely have major issues going forward without a solid foundation. Hopefully you can retake it with another professor if you end up having to retake it. 

Post # 10
2612 posts
Sugar bee

The professor was clear that you weren’t going to pass the class and should drop it rather than trying to power through. You ignored her and decided to finish the class, and you didn’t pass it so now you’ve lost your aid money. It sucks, but hopefully this is a learning experience. Honestly, a 69 or 70 percent, with only 50s on the exams, does not show proficiency in the material. She doesn’t have to pass you just because you worked hard and you wanted her to. And who cares if some people slept through class but passed – if they did well on the exams and assignments that is entirely fair. 

Do go talk to the dean and do go file with your school’s disability services office. Hopefully they can provide you resources to help you in the future. 

Post # 10
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Speaking as a professor who had to flunk a student who really needed my class just this morning, I agree with browneyedgirl24 that you need to step back and see the big picture.  If you have a learning disability, that gives you more time for tests or a better testing environment – make sure you take advantage of it – but that does not absolve you of the responsibility to pass the tests.  If you were consistently getting 50% on tests, then you have not mastered the material enough to move on.  I highly doubt being a “little Iraqi girl” has anything to do with it.  Take some ownership over your situation – it’s a lot more empowering than making the prof into your scapegoat, and has a greater likelihood of leading to your future success.

Post # 13
363 posts
Helper bee

Does your college offer student volunteer tutors? At my college they were free and probably the only reason I passed physics lol. Professors at bigger universities don’t have much time for 1:1 with students so these free volunteer tutors were amazing for me. I would look into it. I met mine at the university library once a week and it was nice to have someone who could explain something to me differently than a professor could and to spend more time in certain areas that I needed. 

Post # 14
2763 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

View original reply
happycomelately :  I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time. 

My advice would be to start taking ownership of your life. Your post reads as though you see yourself as a complete victim. Why haven’t you been on a date for more than 2 years? Why is it the professor’s fault that you got a 50 (failing grade) on your exam? I know when I went to school my class average was pretty much calculated between midterms and finals, maybe a big assignment in there too. Attendance is never a factor (as far as I know) in your grades since universities expect people to take responsibility for either going or not to class. Getting early to class wasn’t a factor either. I know I was in several classes where I actually had to attend the lectures (and sessions) in order to understand the material, but other people showed up only for the exams and did better than I did. I never though to myself that I deserved a better grade than they did simply because I attended class – more like, wow that person is so much smarter than me regarding this material! 

Some subjects are just harder for some people than others. I remember my college freshman roommate studied about 7 hours a day EVERY DAY to pass her Inorganic Chemistry class whereas one of her best friends from class read the textbook 24 hours before the final and guess who got a higher grade? That’s right, the woman who never went to lecture and read the textbook the night before the final. Did I mention she was also drunk that night? And hungover when she took the exam? Yep, that woman just ‘got’ it. 

Anyway, I second PPs suggestions to go to your student center and find out what kind of extra help you can get regarding your learning disability. Then, I suggest you go to the counseling office and sign up for some free counseling to see if you can rectify things that also bother you (like not having gone out on a date in 2 years), remake a life plan, etc. 

Post # 15
5088 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

The professor didn’t give you a 69.3%, you earned it. It’s not the professor’s job to pass you just because you worked hard, you need to learn the material, especially if this is a pre-req for a harder class. 

If you have a learning disability that makes testing difficult for you, then you need to get official accomodations for that. Professors don’t make that call, that call is made by your school’s disability resource center. I’ve had students in the past who needed extra time or needed someone to read the exam to them or who just needed to take the exam in a room alone, whatever. The school can accomodate that, but the professor isn’t responsible for deciding what your accomodations are. Also, even with accomodations, you still need to earn the grades you’re given, there are no bonus points just for learning disabilities. Now, if you had official accomodations on record and your professor refused them, that is a different story. 

Go to the Dean if you’d like. Sometimes crying to the Dean will get them to strong arm a professor into changing your grade, I’ve seen it happen before. But know that if you can’t pass a pre-req, it’s going to be a lot harder to pass the upper level class. Grades aren’t based on effort or who “deserves” what, you have to know the material. 

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