(Closed) Totally irresponsible?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 32
Member
60 posts
Worker bee

I would find it weird for her to take her 9 year old daughter on a first encounter with this guy she’s only been talking to for the past few months. Regardless of their past…a lot can change about a person in a few years. Not to mention that the kid is 9 and went through her daughter’s divorce…now she’s seeing her mom hook up with some guy who she (the daughter) hasn’t met, and the mom hasn’t seen in years. 

Yeah, as a mom…I’m feeling a little judgemental on this one. 

I was in a LDR with my Fiance for 2 years before he moved here. He was a friend from HS and I spoke to him for months before he came up here for a visit. I hadn’t seen him in 20 years. For the first few visits (every other month), I made sure they occured on the weekends where my daughter was with her dad. Tim would be gone before she’d get home. She was 5 at the time and I wasn’t introducing her to this guy, until we were more established and I was SURE I wanted to be with him. 

Divorce is hard enough on kids, no need to start throwing new people in their faces until time has been taken to get to know (or to re-know) a person. JMHO. 

 

Post # 33
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

She’s 32… she’s an adult! Her mom really has no say.

What definitely IS inappropriate is the mother or other family members posting about it on facebook, especially given that they don’t actually know for certain the details of the situation. She may have taken her daughter with her to reconnect with this guy, but that doesn’t mean that they were “hooking up”. Even if they were, presumably she made appropriate arrangements for her daughter. I’d be very wary of making judgements based on “hearsay”.

Post # 34
Member
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I don’t really think we’ve been presented with enough details to come to a conclusion either way. 

If the mother & her old friend met up at a hotel to have sex & took the daughter along, then absolutely. That would be beyond irresponsible. If they met at a restaurant to have dinner & catch up & the daughter went along, then no, that’s not irresponsible.

I don’t view it as irresponsible for her to introduce her daughter to someone she presents as an old “friend” from school either. I believe a 9 year old is mature enough to comprehend the situation & not immediately assume they’re going to get a new “daddy”. A younger child might get confused, but not a 9 year old.

 

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