(Closed) tough apartment decision & ttc: what would you do

posted 4 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Which scenario makes the most sense?
    Continue to live in our 1-bedroom, looking for that perfect 2-bedroom and not TTC until we find it : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Move into the 2-bedroom knowing nothing is certain, start TTC in late summer and risk having to move : (14 votes)
    37 %
    Move into the 2-bedroom, wait to TTC until after November/December when landlady is final : (10 votes)
    26 %
    Other : (11 votes)
    29 %
  • Post # 2
    213 posts
    Helper bee

    My Fiance and I just made a similar decision that involves when we want to start TTC and a move from a 1 to 2 bedroom apartment – so I can understand that this is definitely a tricky decision.  

    A few things you might want to consider:

    At least in my region, almost everyone moves in the spring/summer months.  This means that there are the most potential apartments in spring/summer and looking in Nov/Dec might mean that there are fewer choices, but also that those choices might be cheaper.

    You might want to try looking for an apartment in an apartment complex.  We’re in a condo building and there isn’t that fear that the landlord will want to sell on a whim.

    TTC while living in a 1-bedroom might not be the worst thing in the world if it is a good apartment otherwise.  Realistically for me, the first 6 months the baby would be sleeping in my room anyway.  For us, the stairs involved in our 1-bedroom and the fact that there was no washer and dryer were bigger causes for our moving than that there were not 2-bedrooms.

    Post # 3
    2879 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    anonybee0810: you’re at the age where you can put off ttc for a few months or just ttc in your current apt. My sister has a 1 YO and a 4bd house. Guess where the baby sleeps? In their room. 

    Post # 5
    2905 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My husband and I are TTC in a one bedroom apartment where we intend to stay for the foreseeable future. Babies will be totally fine in a crib in the corner of your bedroom for at least a year or so! And remember that a) there are no guarantees that you’ll get pregnant right off the bat… It might take longer than you’d hoped, and b) even if you do get pregnant on the first try, you’ll be pregnant for nine months! We thought about looking for a two bedroom for our recent move, but realized that even if I got pregnant the day we signed the lease, we would spend a year paying for an empty bedroom… Nine months with baby inside me, then at least three in a bassinet or co-sleeper. If you like your current space, I’d definitely stay put and TTC whenever you’re ready!

    Post # 6
    1026 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would say start TTC and stay in your current place for now.  Keep looking at two bedroom places, but don’t feel rushed to move. Realistically it takes most people several cycles to concieve, so even if you are one of the lucky couples who get pregnant your first month or two of trying, you are looking at 10-11 monthes before you would have a baby.  A newborn in a one bedroom is totally doable, I prefered having my son in our room anyway at that age.  The night wake ups were easier with him right there, and honestly other then having a place to keep his clothes, he didn’t need a room of his own.  My son is now a year old and his room is by far the least used room in the house.  He plays in the living room or my room most of the time, eats with us in the kitchen and hangs out where I am in the house.  We go in his room for sleeping at night and getting out clothes or diapers.  If I had to I could easily manage with an alcove or corner with his crib and dresser without it being a separate room.  

    So looking at your time line of moving anyway in 1-3 years, if you started TTC now you would have

    10+months before baby gets here 

    6-12+ months where baby is so little he/she doesnt need his own room

    Right there you are at almost 2 years.  If it takes you a little longer to get pregnant, you could be looking 2 and a half years to three years and you could go straight to your more permanent home.

    Post # 7
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Option 3.  Start TTC now and keep looking.  Even if you get pregnant this month you would still have 9 months to find the “perfect” 2 bedroom.  I wouldn’t gamble on the 2 bedroom which may be a problem due to the divorcing owner.  You don’t want to get settled and then have to move out in a few months because her husband forces the sale or gets the property.

    Post # 8
    810 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i’d stay where you are for now, continue looking, but start TTC. You don’t need/have to be in a 2 bedroom to TTC. You don’t even really need it for the first portion of a baby’s life.

    Post # 9
    3339 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    anonybee0810:  However, the reality is that any place we rent could spontaneously be sold and we could be in the same position. It’s just the constant risk of renting.”

    This really is not true, especially if you rent from a management company.  I have rented for my entire life (27) and have never lived in a place or known of anyone else who has lived in a place that has been “spontaneously sold.”  But on to your dilemma…

    Divorce is a horrible, messy thing that can be drawn out for years.  There is absolutely NO guarantee that you can continue living in this lady’s property.  Ignore her “90% chance” quote.  That is not a guarantee.  I’d say there’s a 50% chance that she will be forced to sell it.  If she and her ex cannot agree on the terms, a judge will decide for them and judges 99.9% of the time require the asset to be sold so the money can be split up evenly.  I know you love this place, but don’t move into it when it’s in such a precarious situation.  If you really really love and want it (and can afford it), then I would ask her about setting up some sort of contract now that if it doesn’t get sold per the divorce settlement, that you will move in at that time and not before.  That way, she can’t try and find another renter in the meantime.

    Also, I just want to add that you should not wait to TTC just based off how many bedrooms you live in currently.  It took us 6 months of TTC to actually get me successfully knocked up.  If you’re not going to even start trying for 3-6 months, then you may not conceive for 12-18 months from now.  Sure, you could be one of the lucky ones who conceives right away.  But especially if you’re still on birth control pills, don’t expect it to happen immediately.  I didn’t even ovulate for the first 6 cycles off the pill!

    But I digress…It seems like you live in a great place now, albeit small.  Keep looking for a larger place if that’s what you want.  But definitely don’t spend money to move into a place that you might be forced out of within a couple months.  Then you’d really be under the gun to find a replacement living situation and that will only limit your options further.  Plus, moving alone is expensive.  When making financial decisions, follow your head not your heart.  Do what makes sense.

    Post # 10
    4518 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I wouldn’t move into an apartment that I knew might be going up for sale soon. 

    I would stay where you guys are for now and start TTC anyway. You can move while you’re pregnant, and you can also make ot work in a 1-bedroom for a while after your baby is born. We are moving from a 1-bedroom to a 2-bedroom next month, when our child will be one. We also moved while I was 8 months pregnant.

    Post # 11
    2517 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    anonybee0810:  Have you called the landlord and tenant tribunal?  I would, get the information on what a landlord can and can’t do, because I’m pretty sure they can say ‘no pets’ in the lease but its not actually enforceable in Ontario (I live here too.)  And there is a time period even after a house sells that the tenant has to be allowed to stay (I’m not sure the exact details, but my sister went through this with her house rental while she was at school – also in Ontario.   They had to keep her on as a tenant until the end of her lease, I believe.)  I’d call them and get the facts.  Then I’d start making decisions.  

    But given what I know, I’d go for the 2 bedroom bungalow and I’d start TTCing.  🙂  I can always move.  One of my coworkers moved into a new house at 8 months pregnant.  It wasn’t a big deal.  

    We are currently in a large one bedroom in the city (an older, very well maintained building, I love it.)  We’re looking to start TTC late next summer and we’re waiting until the summer to start seriously looking at houses as well.  Even our worst case scenario – the baby would be fine for the first year in this apartment.  That gives us loads of time to find a house, there’s no rush. 

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by  sostobe. Reason: typos!
    Post # 12
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My SO and I are currently living in a two bedroom, and we will need to upgrade to three when we have a child. We will probably stay in the two bedroom while we TTC. My thought behind this is to save the extra $200+ that the three bedroom would cost us when we don’t know when or even if we will get pregnant. 

    We will either move a few months into pregnancy or a couple of months after the baby is born since he or she would be able to sleep in our room for a little while anyway. If we move during pregnancy we would just find a lot of help, possibly hire movers and I would mostly have the task of unpacking instead of carrying and heavy lifting. Being pregnant or having a baby and moving is annoying, but I know tons of people who do it, and it is worth it for us to possibly save a few thousand dollars by not renting in a place that has an unused bedroom for 9+ months. 

    Post # 13
    9691 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Stay where you are and start ttc while you kee looking.  Even if you get pregnant right away you will be pregnant for 9 months and baby usually sleeps in your room for 3-6 months.   That buys you at least a year to find a new place from when you get pregnant.   If you don’t get pregnant right away you have even longer. I think moving while pregnant is fine except for maybe the last few months.  I wouldnt move heavy furniture but you can easily pack and move some boxes.  Or just pack and recruit some help.

    Post # 14
    5660 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I say stay where you are utnil you know for sure that it’s not going to be sold out from under you, and meanwhile keep looking. Still start TTC regardless of if you are in the one bedroom or not. Trust me, moving at 2-3 months pregnant is NOTHING. I was working out up to 7 months, doing yard work, etc… until it really did become too hard. 2-3 months you aren’t even really showing yet if at all and you should have plenty of energy. 

    Even if you don’t find the perfect place before the baby comes, you dont NEED a second bedroom yet. Baby can sleep  in your room (safer re: SIDS anyway) and I know there are a lot of bee’s that have a one bedroom or a very small space and have made having a baby work. They don’t need much when they’re tiny.

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