(Closed) Tough (emotional) diamond question – need advice

posted 10 years ago in Rings
  • poll:

    Sell them, in general, they have nothing but bad memories.

    Sell them, start fresh; make new memories even if the wedding band had good memories

    Re-set the diamonds in your wedding band

    Re-set the diamonds in his wedding band

    Other, please explain

  • Post # 18
    Member
    12340 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I see nothing wrong with reusing a few diamonds from an old ring.. it’ll completely have a new meaning.  But on the same token, if you think you’d be bothered by it, I’d just start fresh.  In reality, I dont think those 4 little diamonds aren going to be worth much to sell or save much money on a new ring at all anyways. If you were talking about a sizeable center stone, I’d definitely say reuse it, but there not much to gain or lose here financially.

    Post # 19
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    I think it’s fine, as long as you know that you could look at it and think of it as your wedding band and not have thoughts of your old marriage pop into your brain. I personally don’t think I could completely forget what the diamonds used to represent, so I would probably sell them. Congrats on finding a great Fiance, OP–best wishes! 🙂

    Post # 20
    Member
    3683 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think it’s ok, as those diamonds were gifted to you by jeweler friends, not by Mr. DBag.  Those diamonds represent the generosity of friends who love you more than they represent him.

    Post # 21
    Member
    1752 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    its totally up to you. If it wouldn’t bother you – cool, you save some money… but if it would bother you even in the slightest, its not worth it.

    I will tell you though, I had a scum ex boyfriend who used to go out and buy me jewelry after every scummy thing he did to me – so by the time I ended the relationship I had I think 3 or 4 stupid gold and diamond heart necklaces. Handing them over to get melted for the gold and being given 80 bucks to go have dinner and martinis with a girlfriend was INCREDIBLY satisfying.

    Post # 22
    Member
    246 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think if you are able to look at them and think about the friends who love you and gifted it to you then you should reset them.  While that marriage wasn’t good, it helped make you the person you are, the person that your new Fiance fell in love with.  I personally try not to forget the past, but rather remember how much better a person I am now because of the past.

    Post # 23
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I probably wouldn’t use them in wedding jewelry, but might reset them into other jewelry. Your friends gave them to you, so I might hang on for that reason.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2536 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would sell them and get something completely new, but that’s because I’m spoiled like that. 🙂

    Post # 25
    Member
    995 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @lybarra:  well said.

    We are who we are now because of what came before: both our triumphs and our life lessons learned.  

    To the OP: Talk to your Fiance, I think it will be a choice you two need to make together.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2080 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I would want nothing whatsoever to do with them. I would sell them and I wouldn’t even want to spend the money on myself in any shape or form. I would donate the money to charity and then spray the area with Lysol where I had been keeping the diamonds, LOL. But I’m like that… haha.

    Post # 27
    Member
    383 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2002

    As someone who had a family ring the first 10 years of my marriage and who used to think it would be a bad idea…I don’t think so anymore. If your fiance doesn’t mind, I would use the diamonds. I see them as a nice memory of that time in your life…that you were gifted the ring…your ex had nothing to do with giving it to you, it sounds like.  Best of luck in what you decide!

    Post # 28
    Member
    2896 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I vote other. I don’t think I’d want them in either of our new wedding bands. But what about saving them for a necklace or for future use on jewelry to gift to your kids (if they’re in your future)? They were from your first marriage, yes, but they were gifts from good friends, not “drug diamonds.” I’d look at them more as a nice gift to use in other jewelry or pass down, not something wedding related or used in your new wedding jewelry.

    Post # 29
    Member
    1486 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I’m selling mine from my first marriage…I don’t need any reminders of him in anyway!

    Post # 30
    Member
    1741 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    If there are no bad memories attached to the ring (especially as essentially it was a gift, and not from your ex) I would use the diamonds and sell the gold. 🙂

    Post # 31
    Member
    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I’ve been married twice before…once very briefly when I was 21, and again at 33. 

    I sold my first engagement ring to pay the rent when I was unemployed….I sold the second one (which I didn’t get until we had been married 4 years) to go towards a pair of diamond earrings I bought myself for my 40th.

    I don’t have any regrets…to me, once the relationship is over if I’m not going to wear them again, and they are just going to sit in a box, what’s the point in keeping them?  May as well use them to get something I do want!

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