(Closed) Tough relationship with FSIL (sorry, long)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

Why hasn’t your brother stuck up for you?!?!?! I would’ve told her to go F herself by now! No one deserves to be treated like that. Tell her I said to go F herself. 

Post # 3
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I am appalled that anyone could treat another person that way!! I’m so sorry she said those things to you.

Post # 4
Member
11617 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Tell her she needs to stand to the left of manners since she left hers back in the dust. So rude. 

Post # 5
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

That is truly horrible and no, you don’t need thicker skin.  She needs a crash course in how to be polite to others as that is just awful.

Post # 7
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

She is a bully and this will not stop until you stand up to to her! You need to just let loose and tell her to STOP! Yes, it’s going to be awkward with tons of anxiety beforehand, but give yourself permission to just *snap* for once because the second you yell at her it will fill like a thousand pounds have been lifted off your shoulders 🙂 and if anyone dares to reprimand you for snapping on that bitch, you need to rip loose all of the reasons. Don’t let yourself stay a victim, expose her! and ps- she gets 1 day, not everyday up until the wedding too.

Post # 8
Member
413 posts
Helper bee

If you’re not typically a dramatic person then no one is going to think that you are! Plus if you can get some back up like your Fiance to verify what she’s said, that’d be good. 

Post # 9
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

OMG that chick is an asshole! 

You’re extremely considerate for sucking it up for your brother. If that were me, there comes a point where enough is enough and I would’ve put her in check by now. 

Post # 10
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Ummm fuck her. Seriously, she sounds like an awful human being. You couldn’t pay me to be in that wedding! Stick up for yourself, bee! You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. 

Post # 11
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

That sounds horrible! No one deserves to be treated that way.

You may want to bow out politely as a bridesmaid?

Post # 12
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think your borther needs to know the sort of person he is marrying, and your mum needs to know too

Also I would decline to be her bridesmaid and just email her and say ‘you seem so stressed about me being your bridemaid and as such I will do you a favour and no longer be one’ and then if she asks why list all the mean things that shes done

You seem way too nice and she seems crazy horrible

Also get engaged, screw what she thinks

Post # 13
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would tell your mum and your brother. Crazy that you haven’t.  I would Want to know who my fiancee Was when I’m not around. She is a bitch but you seriously Need To learn To stand uP for yourself. tell your family now!!!

Post # 14
Member
2525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Your Future Sister-In-Law is a nasty piece of work. If your brother and mother don’t already know then I would tell them. Not necessarily so he will break up with her but just to say to her, you need to lay off my sister. 

It’s interesting that you mention your self confidence issues. I have a friend who has self confidence issues and, whilst she is a really nice person, she constantly gets picked on by those around her. I think having these  issues makes her easy prey and people, like your Future Sister-In-Law, pick up on it easily and say these things because they know it winds you (and my friend) up.

Now I am not saying that you deserve this behaviour and treatment in the slightest. Your Future Sister-In-Law needs to be put in her place about her behaviour and whilst your brother could do it it would be most effective if it came from you. Next time she says anything remotely negative towards you just reply with, “why would you say that? Did you need to say that to me? Was it helpful or kind in anyway?”

If you can, stand up for yourself and hopefully she will start to back off. 

Also most bullies bully because they are insecure about something in their own lives so there is probably something in her life she does not like so feels the need to come after you. 

Post # 15
Member
6524 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

MarathonNurse:  im sorry but your brother is a jerk for not sticking up for you. If i had treated my SILS that way, Darling Husband probably would have said “BYEEEEEEE” 

Also, I would back out of the wedding. I wouldnt want to be a bridesmaid in her wedding bc she seems like the type that everyting has to be pictre perfect (i.e.-her telling you that you can only take pix from the left bc of crooked teeth?)

As someone who also has self confidence issues, nope, sorry, not going to stand up for someone who thinks so poorly of me.

 

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