(Closed) Tough relationship with FSIL (sorry, long)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

MarathonNurse: uh no. You need a less c-nty fsil. 

You need to show your mom and brother the note and tell them what is going on. I doubt your mom would support the horrible things she’s saying to you and frankly, your brother needs to be fully informed about his bride so he can make the best decision for him. 

She spunds abusive — do you want your brother to find this out after the wedding? If you share the facts, he will at least be fully informed. 

Post # 32
Member
234 posts
Helper bee

Wow.

 

Your feelings of sadness are completely valid. She is being a HUGE, irrational b*tch. Please don’t believe the things she is saying about you, she has big issues of her own and she is putting you down in order to lift herself up. I can’t believe anyone who has heard these comments has not stuck up for you, and I would show your mom all of her letters/emails/tell her what she’s said to you (as long as your mom is loving and can give you support) so she knows! you need someone in your life to confirm that this is crazy behaviour, and it’s not your fault. Hope things get better <3

Post # 33
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

MarathonNurse:  she attached a letter that said I needed to start learning how to look like a human<br />

I can’t even…what does that even mean? Who does that to another person?

Post # 34
Member
3244 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

OP, for godsake, please listen to our advice and tell your mum and brother. Her words are abusive. If someone talked to my sister like that I would LOSE my SHIT. You are not protecting your brother and therefore you are allowing him to marry someone he doesn’t even fully know. That’s not fair. You would not like it if you suddenly found out your SO had been bullying your sibling for years. I feel like she has you terrified. Please, I’m begging you, talk to your brother alone. Meet him for a coffee just the two of you or if that is not possible phone him. And seriously talk to your mother. Also, drop the fuck out of the bridal party. She has way forfeited her right to boss you around. You owe that girl nothing. NOTHING!!!! 

You do not deserve to be treated like this. And what’s more, as an adult, you do not have to take it. Prioritise your sanity and put your brother first in a real way not this bizarre lying and pretending way. He deserves to know the truth. What kind of mother is this woman going to be?? Narcacisstic women make selfish, cruel mothers. Don’t let him marry her without all of the information. That’s cruel too.

Post # 36
Member
2098 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t be her bridesmaid! Tell her that you can’t change your smile, your weight, your hair, and everything else that she requires of a bridesmaid and that it’s better for both of you if you not be one. Do not spend a penny to put up with that crazy sh**! If this story is real and you’re not making it up as a troll (sorry, but that’s a possibilty because it is so outlandish a bride could act this way, worse than the stuff they show on tv!) then you should know of course you’re not being too sensitive, she’s a whack b*tch and doesn’t deserve your bridemsaidship or friendship. And yes, talk to your brother- he needs to at least know what kind of woman he’s marrying.

Post # 37
Member
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Is this for real??? I stopped reading after the curling iron. 

Post # 38
Member
758 posts
Busy bee

OP, I know you feel bad telling your brother, but think of how horrible he’ll feel if he finds out he married someone without knowing how horrible she was being to his sister!

I’d politely tell your brother why you’ll be stepping down — don’t start bashing her, just let him know that she’s made some very rude and hurtful comments asking you to “correct” your weight and appearance for the wedding. I’d even give him a few specific examples. Tell him you’re still happy to go as a guest, but that you can’t stand by her side based on what she’s doing.

And PLEASE stop letting this girl dictate your entire life — tell your boyfriend that you’re ready to get engaged whenever he is, and you don’t need to put your life on hold for an entire year to appease this woman. As many people on the bee will attest to — you get one day. Not one year. 

Post # 39
Member
2460 posts
Buzzing bee

No you don’t need thicker skin. it sounds like you like her, even though I don’t know why, she sounds awful. I would bring it up to your brother, let him know how you are feeling and he should talk to her.

I’m having fsil issues too. It’s hard because you want your relationships to start on a good note, but you can’t take this and don’t hold off your life because of her. That is ridiculous, uostaging her relationship, that’s stupid.

Post # 40
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should stay as her bridesmaid and go out of your way to look really whack and that will defo tip her over the edge and teach her a lesson for being a bitch

 

seriously, you need to grow a pair 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by  londonchick.
Post # 41
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

I hope the conversation with your mother went well. This woman has some serious issues and you family needs to know.  I think it would be helpful to work on your self confidence.

I would be very worried for my brother. What if she starts treating him like this?I would of would also be worried for any children they might have.  What if one or more of their future children didn’t measure up to her standards?

 

Post # 42
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I agree with PPs’ advice to step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man and to absolutely stand up for yourself. My Mother-In-Law was ignorant to me all throughout my engagement with constant little digs, and I just kept being really nice to her and my SIL, who was also rude to me, bc I didn’t want to be a bridezilla. I complimented them besides. I never would have insulted them, your Future Sister-In-Law is cruel. But stand up for yourself now as being nice to someone like this doesn’t work. I am also not even sure that talking to her would do much good either. She is not just a bitch but incredibly nervy. She should be glad you are not a violent person bc she deserves someone to kick her ass.

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