(Closed) Toxic friend ended the relationship…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hugssss*

i kno it’s hard to lose people out of your life, but it sounds like in this case, that you’re better off. doesn’t make it any easier to deal with right now, but as time passes you will heal and know that you are in a better place and are a better person without someone like that in your life!

Post # 4
Member
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

A few years out of college, I broke off a toxic friendship with my best friend of 6 years.  We were best friends thru college and after.  She became very selfish, yet was contribuiting very little to the friendship.  I was giving 110% & she gave 20%, on a good day.  Things got to be too much for me.  I was always travelling to see her, running around when she was available, and her mood brought me down.

I quit all contact with her, it was making me sick.  I was very lonely for a period of time, but I got out there, made more friends, and moved on with my life.  I haven’t talked to her in years.  I understand that her life has gotten worse, things have been going on with her for a while, but she has not attempted to reach out to me for help, so I wont’ offer it… as awful as that sounds, she would just rope me back into her drama, and her lifestyle, and I can’t do that anymore.

I wish her well, but I had to move on.  It’s hard for a while losing someone so close, and I can’t imagine losing a friend so close to such an important event, but you will see that your planning, and your wedding events will be much better without the drama.  You still have a couple years to go.  You never know, you might end up befriending someone you couldn’t live w/o in that time, and she will be your first choice for Maid/Matron of Honor.

Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My best friend of 10 years has been blowing me off for the past 3 wks, she is my Maid/Matron of Honor and has never asked me anything about the wedding.  I asked her weeks ago to come over and watch funny Maid/Matron of Honor speeches on youtube and to pick her BM’s dress I had picked up for her, but she would constantly say she is coming but never shows up or even calls! She is going through alot right now with her family but I just dont understand how she could say she will call me in 15 mins or come by by 3pm and never shows.  My Fiance said I should just end the friendship but I will be crushed to do so.  If she doesnt show up at the shower or wedding thats when I will make my decision.  But I dont think it will hurt so much if we ever have to cut ties because if she really wanted to be here for me then she would make an effort and no one wants a friend like that.

Post # 6
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I lost a friend too. It’s not easy, and it hurts so much but eventually it does get better. Eventually you’ll be able to stop crying, get to sleep, and wish her all the best. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now.

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@potatoes: Could be. Has she ever acted like this before? Because if not, her current issues could be majorly messing with her.

Post # 11
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

That’s just sad that she thinks she would actually have a case against you for slander. After she left you that voicemail which you actually have recorded. I mean, really she needs to grow up. Sounds like a real low-life deadbeat friend, good riddance.

Post # 12
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Honestly – I think you’re better off with out someone like that in your life. Everytime I come across a thread like this it reminds me of this poem:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime Friends

When someone is in your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. S/he has come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.

S/he is there to meet a need. Then without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, s/he will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes s/he dies. Sometimes s/he walks away. Sometimes s/he acts up or out and forces you to take a stand. What we must realize is that the need has been met.

When a person comes into your life for a season, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. S/he may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. S/he may teach you something you have never done. S/he usually gives you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. You must accept the lesson, love the person/people anyway, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

Source: Anonymous

Post # 13
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

tell her if she sues for slander then you are going to sue her for emotional distress!

you don’t need friends like that

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Wow, slander doesn’t work like that.

Well, one of my ‘friends’ didn’t want to be my friend anymore because she asked to move in with Darling Husband and I and I said “no”.

Your crap friend should go befriend my crap friend. Karma, baby!

Either way, I’m sorry. It’s hard when people change for the worst. My dad always says that sometimes people come into your life to teach you a hard lesson.

Post # 16
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Tell her to get a life.

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