Toxic Job – Feeling sick to my stomach over the promotion I don't want

posted 6 months ago in Career
Post # 2
4824 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Speak to the head of the department about your frustrations and lack of training NOW. Be upfront and honest. With the proper training you might actually like your job. Good luck.

Post # 3
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

abbeykissintoads :  night it be possible that with your manager gone your job would be better? I think it could be a really good thing – it will give you an opportunity to discuss with your supervisors exactly what your rolls and responsibilities are, and if it’s the manager and not the job causing the stress, the stress should be much reduced! It’s never okay to cry from stress about going to work, but this could be a good opportunity for you!

and I would definitely ask for a new contract, raise and everything else that would go with a promotion. Maybe they just asked to test the waters if you were interested before bringing up the details? (Note I would not personally accept a promotion -which benefits the company- without it being mutually beneficial to myself)

Post # 4
1490 posts
Bumble bee

No raise??? Have you signed anything yet?

Post # 5
47189 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Make an appointment with the person above the manager, and lay out your concerns and ask questions. Tell them about your lack of training and make it clear that you are not about to take on the manager’s position without a proper orientation.

This job might actually be enjoyable once the manager is gone, and it is career progression rather than just a lateral transfer.

Post # 7
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I had a similar experience and still have ptsd from it. Though it’s not the financially smartest thing to do, for your health I would advise to leave. I agree with PP that talking to the head of the department about what’s happened from the start and asking for a new contract might be a good start. But if you don’t like the company either why stay? I learned my lesson.

Post # 8
422 posts
Helper bee

It actually sounds like a good situation you’re in right now. Your manager was a big source of your stress and he’s gone  now. Also, you’re being promoted so the ball is in your court. You can determine the terms of your promotion and ask for a raise. They’re not giving you this promotion to be nice to you, it’s becaus they need you, so use that as leverage.

Post # 10
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - York, ME

abbeykissintoads :  That is unbelievable! I have no words of advice to give, but I could not handle an environment like that. I really hope you find another job soon.

Post # 11
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

How stressful and upsetting, OP. If I were in your position, I would update my resume to reflect the manager role that you’ve been moved into, try your best to learn the role and start implementing the structure that no one else seems to have done and then keep applying elsewhere.

Good luck. The position you’ve been put into in this role is crappy. I feel for you.

If you have the space in your budget, I would start putting some concentrated resources into self care type things – therapy, massage, accupuncture, whatever you need so that the stress of all of this doesn’t settle in your system longterm.

Post # 12
329 posts
Helper bee

abbeykissintoads :  

Bee, you need to set some boundaries with work, very quickly. You are already taking on the responsibility without proper compensation or training, which will set the precedent for how they expect you to work from this point on. I’ve been in your shoes: you think you are really pulling your weight by doing the jobs of three people, but the reality is that you are simply showing them how productive you can be if you overwork yourself. Doing this has the opposite effect of what you want : instead of making them understand they need more people, they may choose not to hire. Until they feel the pressure, there will be no urgency on their part.

The ball is in your court right now, and despite feeling overwhelmed and frustrated (which is totally natural!) you are in the power position: document your conversations to date, and the OT and how hard you are working. When you speak to HR Monday, outline everything in detail – including requesting training, and adequate compensation. If you intend to stay (even for a short while, until you find a new job) ask for what you need, want and deserve. 

Post # 13
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

First of all, I’m so sorry. I know how draining it is to be in a position like that. I’ve had jobs where I put in insane hours for horrible bosses, and it would completely take over my life. 

My advice to you is to stop letting this job run your life. I know that right now you don’t feel like you have any choices or control. But you do! You need to take your life back right now. Stop working overtime. You go in at your schedule time and you leave at your scheduled time. That’s it. If they yell at you, oh well – they are anyway! You’ll never be able to please them, so stop letting this job run your life. Choose to work 40 hours a week, update your resume to say you’re the manager, and make the decision not to let this job control you.

Post # 14
830 posts
Busy bee

abbeykissintoads :  I wish you all the best. I do not think you should do work you are not being compensated for. Perhaps  you could talk to HR. What the department head is requesting  you to do, is for him and the department. You should be compensated. I am not sure of the nature of your work, but I do not think you should be doing overtime if you are not getting paid. If they are understaffed that is their problem to solve, not yours. If they want to promote you, they should compensate you. Perhaps HR will be more reasonable. Do you have a union or lawyer to help you?

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