(Closed) Toxic relationships!

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Thoughts on the entry?

    Love it!!

    Hated it!!!

    Mixed feelings!

    Black was a total asshole. (lol)

  • Post # 3
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I completely agree that the relationship with yourself NEEDS to come first, before any relationship with someone else.  You need to figure out who YOU are, what YOU need and what YOU deserve.  That comes at different times in people’s lives.  It can come with your first love, or your 20th relationship.  However, without it, I think it is easy to lost your identity, and then perhaps identify yourself with your relationship, which can be toxic.


    My Fiance and I had a rough road that led us to where we are today.  I met him in my late 20’s – after many many bad relationships, and now we will be married in my mid-30’s.  I can say with 100% certainty, it took me most of 20’s to figure out who the hell I am, and because of that – for the first time in a long, long time, have a healthy relationship with him.  Both of our identities and personalities are part of our relationship.  We are who we are ‘together’, but definitely have our individuality as well!






    Post # 4
    11735 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I love SATC and Carrie but I always HATED her relationship with Big and also was so pissed when he finally committed.  She should have kicked his non-committal, emotional abusive ass to the curb a long time ago!  I also can’t stand how he always calls her kid – so patronizing!  I think their whole relationship is a horrible example and exactly what a woman should NOT do!

    Anyways, I’m sorry about what you went through. I, too have been through a horribly toxic, emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship. It truly changes you and your ability to rationally see the rest of the world.  The day I got out of that was the best day of my life.   I always say I swear that the sky was a brighter blue that day and I could see in color again. It was like I was living in black and white (and gray!) when I was with him.

    I don’t regret that experience one bit though. I learned so much from it and without it I wouldn’t be the wife I am today and probably wouldn’t have found my DH.

    Post # 7
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Thanks so much for this post – it was really uplifting and I’m sure can really help a lot of people who are in these on-off relationships! I found your story really real and inspirational so thank you! I also had a relationship like this and it took me 5 years to rid myself of him and even now I think back at what an idiot I was. Maybe this post will help someone decide for herself to end this sort of behavior.

    I actually liked Big himself, but I hated their relationship; honestly, after all that turmoil, breakups, his marriage with Natasha, his move to California, etc., not to mention the fact that he was in his 40s, he was NEVER going to commit – he was a serial player and playboy and that was who he was. So, to marry him off to Carrie at the end and having her go back to him was really bad taste. I also thought that all the girls being in relationships at the end of the season was a bit poor too (I read a lot of critics discuss this) because does a woman need a man to be happy? The whole series was about the fact that no, she doesn’t, so this was another thought I had.

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