Post # 1
I have a Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid that live in Oklahoma, I live in Wisconsin. Those two ladies have been more help to me than two of my other bridesmaids that live 5-10minutes away from me. I am aware that people are busy, but I feel that committing to be a bridesmaids means to be supportive and help me when able. I am even just asking for those two send me a quick text or facebook message saying, “How are things going? Can I help with anything?” For one of those ladies I did all of the Maid/Matron of Honor duties and didn’t get the title, this lady has help me with squat. Am I being too much of a B word or is this ok? I would like to trade out one of those girls for another friend whom I have grown closer to. The one I would like to trade out kinda pushed me over the edge by making an alterations appointment, I went with her to alter my dress as well so I could spend sometime with her, and then she cancels and goes out of town. I asked her to cancel the appointment, and she never did. I am fairly frustrated. I may be just a bit crabby because I have other things on my plate.
I will not be offended by ANY opinion given to me. 🙂
Post # 3
I think it’s pretty crappy to trade out bridesmaids without some kind of seriously legit reason. The ‘new’ ladies’ willingness to help you should not trump your original strong feelings of friendship and love toward the people you asked first. I just wouldn’t mess with these things as they could completely disrupt your friendships after your wedding.
But hey, it’s your wedding! Do what you want, you know?
Post # 4
It’s not trading someone out. It’s kicking them out. If you decide to do it, you need to realize it can be (and usually is) a friendship ender.
I’m of the opinion that all bridesmaids need to do is love you, buy the dress, and show up on time and sober(ish). YMMV, but I picked my friends because I wanted my closest people standing with me. Not the people who did the most for me.
Post # 5
Before making this big decision, talk to them. Wait until you’re not as angry, but definitely bring it up and let them know you’d like some more help. Maybe it’s a communication issue and once they know you want more help they will step up. Let us know how it goes!
Post # 6
@Kewii: I completely agree.
Post # 7
“Bridesmaid duties” (in quotes because their only real duties are buying the dress and showing up clean, sober, and positive on the day of, the rest is just an added bonus like showers or helping with projects) are not tit for tat. Just because you had the time/money/inclination to help someone with their wedding doesn’t mean they feel the same way about yours.
We don’t choose people as bridesmaids because we think they will help us the most. We choose those who we couldn’t imagine getting married without them by our sides.
Post # 8
Ummm yeah that would be drama you don’t want or need. Best to try to shrug things off, I think we forget that their lives are not all about our wedding. My advise is to let it be!
Post # 9
Just don’t do it. It’s not cool at all.