(Closed) Trade out

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I think it’s pretty crappy to trade out bridesmaids without some kind of seriously legit reason.  The ‘new’ ladies’ willingness to help you should not trump your original strong feelings of friendship and love toward the people you asked first.  I just wouldn’t mess with these things as they could completely disrupt your friendships after your wedding.


But hey, it’s your wedding! Do what you want, you know?

Post # 4
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s not trading someone out.  It’s kicking them out.  If you decide to do it, you need to realize it can be (and usually is) a friendship ender.


I’m of the opinion that all bridesmaids need to do is love you, buy the dress, and show up on time and sober(ish).  YMMV, but I picked my friends because I wanted my closest people standing with me.  Not the people who did the most for me.


Post # 5
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Before making this big decision, talk to them. Wait until you’re not as angry, but definitely bring it up and let them know you’d like some more help. Maybe it’s a communication issue and once they know you want more help they will step up. Let us know how it goes!

Post # 6
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kewii:  I completely agree.

Post # 7
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

“Bridesmaid duties” (in quotes because their only real duties are buying the dress and showing up clean, sober, and positive on the day of, the rest is just an added bonus like showers or helping with projects) are not tit for tat.  Just because you had the time/money/inclination to help someone with their wedding doesn’t mean they feel the same way about yours.

We don’t choose people as bridesmaids because we think they will help us the most.  We choose those who we couldn’t imagine getting married without them by our sides.

Post # 8
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Ummm yeah that would be drama you don’t want or need. Best to try to shrug things off, I think we forget that their lives are not all about our wedding. My advise is to let it be!

Post # 9
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Just don’t do it. It’s not cool at all.

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