- 5 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
@Scoutypants – I would love to connect w/ you on this topic (if you’re interested) as I am a Chinese woman, who’s marrying a white causian (Texan) in 3 months. And for the most part, I believe we’ve integrated our traditions to the wedding.
For example, based on the “Western” tradition, the rehearsal dinner is paid by the groom’s side of the family. And in the Chinese tradition, within a month before the wedding, the Groom’s side of the family brings over a giant roast pork, and other deliciousness as dawry forthe bride’s family. Since we are expecting a lot of people from overseas and out of state to join us at our wedding, we did not want to leave everyone stranded the day before the wedding. As such, we’re having a fancy cook out at my parent’s house, where the groom’s side of the family will bring over the roasted pig and other side dishes. My family will of course help find a place to order the pig. The wedding party will still sneak out for an hour to attend rehearsal at church, but our hope is to cover both culture’s traditions and to keep our guests entertained with the-day-before festivities.
As for our tea ceremony, we will be doing that on the morning of the wedding with my side of the family. Since I am from Hong Kong, I will be wearing a kwa, which is a traditional 2 piece wedding outfit – I believe this outfit is mainly a tradition for folks from Southern China. Depending on where your fiance’s family is from, you may want to consider a kwa as well as it’s very forgiving. For an Asian, I too have a lot of curves, and I find the kwa to be a little less intimidating compared to a qi-pao (which we call a cheong-sam in the south).
I will then change into a white/bridal/western style gown for the ceremony, and then change into another red cheong-sam for the banquet. The tea ceremony for the groom’s side of the family will take place at the restaurant.
In my experience, I have attended other weddings where the bride was white, and the groom was Chinese. The bride wore a red and gold color qi-pao, and the groom wore a tux for their ceremony. This couple’s tea ceremony was held at the restaurant, before the 10 course meal.
As for the location of the tea ceremony, since most Chinese people back in Asia live in a high rise, there isn’t a lot of room to stuff all 100 of your relatives for tea ceremony. As such, it’s acceptable to have the tea ceremony at the restaurant or at a home.
Honestly, if you are going to have a tea ceremony, I think it would be inappropriate to wear anything other than a qi-pao or a kwa — seriously, what else would you wear? One thing for certain, you and your fiance will be on your knees during the tea ceremony as you are “offering” tea to your future in laws. Therefore, whatever you chose to wear, make sure you find something comfortable to sit in.