Traditional in laws not hosting anything

posted 3 months ago in Family
Post # 16
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

They could be the types that do everything last-minute. I found out I was having a shower 48 hours before it was hosted, for example, and I planned to pay for my own rehearsal dinner until FIL slapped his credit card on the table at the end of the night and said, “This is on me!” So it could be like that?

I wouldn’t get worked up over it just yet. But just in case, set aside part of your budget for the rehearsal dinner. 

Post # 17
6615 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

beachgrl73 :  Is it possible they don’t feel your dowry is valuable enough to warrent paying for the rehearsal dinner? Do you think your parents could increase it a bit?

Post # 19
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

is_a_belle :  that’s funny. Maybe he was trying to estimate how much it would be before he would commit/pay.

Post # 20
8638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

beachgrl73 :  Rehearsal dinners can be a nice way to host out of towners, wedding party and immediate family,  but they are not necessary or obligatory. If no one offers to host one, I would just skip it. I actually like when there is some time to explore an area on our own. 

Post # 21
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I don’t think you’re being greedy! It’s totally normal to have a shower on both sides. Typically the Mom of the bride wouldn’t host a shower. I think it’s weird how common that is becoming. 

I would ask your FMIL something like this, “My Aunt is throwing me a shower on xx date. We’d love it if you could come!” That might prompt her. 

My MIL threw me a shower in addition to the shower given by my mom’s friend and my sister. We also invited my MIL, her sister and her mom to the shower. 

Post # 22
546 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s still far too early for these events to be planned yet. You might be an early planner, but not everyone is. If I was responsible for hosting a rehearsal dinner or bridal shower for a March wedding, I probably wouldn’t get too serious about it until September/October. Also, the bridal shower might be a surprise shower. Either way, I’d give it a few more months before I started to get concerned. It’s simply too early for most people.

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