(Closed) Traditional vs religious, spin off post

posted 5 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: Describe your wedding...
    Religious and traditional (father giving me away, taking FI's name etc etc) : (25 votes)
    31 %
    Religious and non-traditional (I'm making a speech at the wedding, no being given away for me etc) : (8 votes)
    10 %
    Non-religious and traditional : (22 votes)
    27 %
    Non-religious and non-traditional : (26 votes)
    32 %
  • Post # 3
    8579 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Me nor Fiance are religious, we are both agnostic, so a religious ceremony will be out of the question.

    I’m being walked down the asile by my mother & her husband, we’re exchanging rings, & doing a sand ceremony. Also doing first dances, dollar dance, bouquet & garter toss. Im not sure if we’ll do a first look yet, I don’t think we will though.

    Most of our decorations are going to be modern [pomanders, bling, martini glass centerpieces].

    Our theme is modern romance with a halloween twist. Very romantic candle lighting & with pink light curtains & accents.

    Post # 4
    5011 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We are non-religious and non-traditional. I don’t think we were too in your face work our  no-conformity but our wedding was all about us rather than traditions for the sake of them.

    Post # 5
    973 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    From the US.  Both Darling Husband and I are non-religious and we had a pretty traditional (but cheap) wedding.  I took his name. My dad walked me down the isle (“rolled” actually as he has MS and can’t walk far).  I wore a dress and did not wear cowboy boots… this was a request from Darling Husband as he’d never seen me in a dress and I wear cowboy boots every day weather permits unless I’m running for exercise.  I did plan on a dress and left to my own devices would have worn cowboy boots but it wasn’t a big deal not to, I even picked sparkly shoes and wore nail polish!. 🙂

    As an aside I thought the “something old, new, borrowed, blue and a six pence in your shoe” WAS traditional (penny the shoe for most Americans).  But I admit I generally suck at girl stuff so I dunno lol.

    Post # 6
    909 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My Fiance and I are both very traditional and religious. We’re having a full Catholic mass ceremony. The only thing we aren’t sure about yet is the garter toss at the reception because my Fiance is shy and gets embarrassed easily, he doesn’t want to be going up my dress is front of both our families LOL

    Post # 7
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    UK, religious and fairly traditional. So we don’t fit your theory I’m afraid. 🙂

    Post # 8
    5199 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2010

    We are not religious (I am an atheist, my husband is more along the lines of an agnostic) and had a very non-traditional ceremony. It was very much about us. No aisles, no churches, no “giving away” of the bride, no mentions of religion, and a few very different elements that really worked for us and who we were. I did “take” my husband’s last name, but not because this is “how it is done” or is “tradition” or anything like that. My husband and I both tend to be very anti-tradition just for the sake of tradition.

    We are in Canada. 

    Post # 9
    43 posts
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I selected non-religious and non-traditional in the poll, but that only partially describes our wedding. We are having a secular ceremony. There will be no mention of God or anything during the ceremony, however, before our meal, we will be saying grace, since we have a number of guests who are religious. We felt it would be a nice compromise, especially since our guest who is saying grace is an amazing speaker! For the traditions aspect, we are doing some, and skipping some. We’re not doing garter/bouquet, we’re having our photos done before the ceremony, we’re not getting married in a church, no one is giving me away (though my parents are escorting me). We are doing some traditions though, since I’ll be taking his last name (MY choice!), doing first dances, and the old/new/borrowed/blue bit. Basically we’re doing what we’re comfortable with, and personalising to make it feel right to us!

    Post # 10
    1578 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

    Our wedding is non-religious (with a couple Bible verses thrown in there.. Fiance is athiest, I’m spiritual) but my father IS walking me down the aisle and I’m taking my FI’s name.


    We live in the US.

    Post # 11
    846 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    my Fiance and i are not religious as we are diests, but we are still pretty traditional. my father is giving me away, i am taking his last name, ect. i think it depends on where you come from in the US too.. people who live in places like new york and los angelos can be lightyears away from the people in the small farming town where we come from.

    Post # 12
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    to me traditional is religious – we’re having a catholic mass and a big wedding.

    Post # 14
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I couldn’t really vote.

    We’re not having a religious ceremony as I’m atheist and OH is agnostic. So, we’re having a civil ceremony, though our ceremony venue is very beautiful and traditional (high ceilings, wood panelling, chandeliers, etc).

    As far as other traditions go, my dad will be giving me away as we are very close, and I personally don’t feel the need to take a feminist stance on this issue and upset him (and me!) in the process. I will be taking OH’s last name for the most part, but will keep my maiden name professionally, inc for any published articles, as I didn’t want to get rid of it completely. I will also be speaking at the reception, as I personally believe it is down to me, not my OH, to thank my bridesmaids and parents, for example.

    Post # 15
    993 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @Rachel631:  I guess there are different types of traditions – the religious traditions following certain rites etc and cultural? traditions involving various elements of the wedding celebration that are perhaps more tied to family and place?

    I agree, we are skipping certain dances and “traditional” proceedings in the reception.  With the marriage ceremony itself there is very little room to move from the ritual tradition.

    Interesting.  It seems alot of things people call “traditional” are actually marketing and short-lived.  Like the wedding dress being white, the engagement ring, etc.  I find women who identify as feminists are those more likely to go against certain “traditions” like name changing and giving away.  I’d be interested in a history of how these things establish themselves.


    Post # 16
    418 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    My father is not giving me away at my wedding because he’s not available to do so (my son will instead). He is literally giving me to my husband because I have been his for his entire childhood. However, my ceremony will be uber traditional and religious. 

    I will take his name, we will recite traditional Christian vows that include the word obey, there will be no alcohol. If I wanted to make a speech, I could, but I have no desire to do so. Prayer and all of that. 

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