(Closed) Traditional girl with dilemma.

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Have you had a conversation about this before with your BF? Just curious as to why you think he would be nervous if he has a great relationship with your pops.

Post # 5
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think you probably just have to let it go and hope he talks to your Dad on his own. Especially if he knows that’s what you want, just make sure that they have time to themselves to talk, and your boyfriend should step up. It might not be till closer to the proposal when there’s a close deadline, but I’m sure he’ll speak with your Dad if he knows that’s important to you. 

I would leave it be and see what happens. Especially if you’ve been dating for years, it can’t come as much of a shock to your Dad. 

Post # 6
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I think you should stay out of it. If he wants to ask your dad, he should just do it. Do you alreadyhave an idea of how your family feels about him? If you know your family likes him then there’s nothing to worry about. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree stay out of it. In fact I highly doubt that’s the reason he is waiting…

Post # 8
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

Definitely let it go- if you want a proposal with that stipulation, you have to wait for him to feel comfortable to ask.

Post # 9
Member
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Does he know that you would want him to ask your dad?  Fiance and I had had conversations about that well before we were thinking about engagement, where I mentioned that I thought it was nice to get family support before proposing, and he agreed that it was the right thing to do.  So I didn’t have to worry about him knowing to do it.

Just wondering if your boyfriend knows that’s important to you.  He’ll get up the courage.

Post # 10
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

@armychica06: that is good advice.

Your Boyfriend or Best Friend knows that you want him to ask Dad, I’d leave it at that.  Good luck waiting though, I know it can be hard and frustrating at time.

Post # 11
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Let it go!

He will do it when he is ready. My Darling Husband did it at the very last minute (asked my dad for his blessing on Thursday and then proposed on Saturday).

Why would he think your dad would say no? He probably is just procrastinating till the last possible minute!

Post # 12
Member
222 posts
Helper bee

I agree, let him do it his way. I wouldn’t say anything else on the matter to him. If he knows it’s important to you, he’ll do it eventually. I’d be nervous too!!! I have a good relationship with SO’s parents but if the shoe were turned and I had to ask, I’d still be puking from nervousness.

Post # 13
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I made sure that my Fiance KNEW that asking my Dad was a big deal and even though he and my dad have a great relationship it was still difficult and nervewracking to him. But, he knew it was important to me and my family and he really wanted to marry me so he did it! Difficult as it was for him. In the end he still says that that was almost as emotional as when he asked me. Because, for him, the engagement process had already begun. And it wasn’t like he didn’t already know my answer. lol

Post # 14
Member
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think if you already mentioned it to him, there’s no reason to mention it again.  He knows how you feel and will make a decision.  If he decides NOT to ask you dad, don’t make a big deal about it.  Yes, you will be disappointed, but it’s really not the end of the world.  Conversely, if he does decide to do it – it’s a win-win!  

I really wanted Darling Husband to ask my mom’s permission, but he didn’t.  We went over the morning after he proposed and he brought her flowers and asked her blessing.  It all worked out in the end – and in the grand scheme of things – was not a big deal (the asking prior thing).

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