(Closed) Transition from GF to Fiance

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1901 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think everyone goes through this to some degree. I think it’s important to discuss what your values are as a couple and what your goals are as a couple. Also, discuss any “non-negotiables”. Like now, when you get into a fight, you cannot say,” it’s over” or “This isn’t going to work.” If one or both of you has certain triggers that fuel the fire in an argument, discuss how to handle those. For me, it’s yelling. As soon as voices are raised, I’m out. Fiance grew up in a very loud house where they were yelling all the time (they are seriously loud talkers!). I’m also a person that needs alone time often, but Fiance could be with me 24/7 and it never bothers him. Sometimes people take all this stuff for granted, but I think it’s important to talk about who you are as a couple and what that looks like.

Post # 4
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Sometimes I’ve struggled with this- when we get into spats its hard for me not to throw the “this isnt working” thing out. When ppl use that kind of language, it tends to be for the shock value, so I think it just takes some adjusting (at least for me) to handle myself more maturely and realize that this IS working, and that I need to find better ways of both standing up for myself and for our relationship. This is probably what your Fiance is going through. Marriage calls for big changes and swallowing your pride all around:)

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