(Closed) Translate man-speak? Anyone?!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ultimately, it sounds like he thought you weren’t all in, for some reason or another. Almost like you were waiting for something better. Although, I don’t know how in the hell he got that from what you said.

 

My advice? Let it go. We can all drive ourselves crazy trying decode man-speak. Especially when the relationship is finished. Why let him take up space rent free in your head? The only person that can explain it is him, and he might even be confused. Men tend to speak in riddles instead of just coming out with it, and I tend to take what they say with a grain of salt.

 

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Bellagiobride:  I think he misunderstood what that means.  I’d just let it go.

Or that he thought you were just waiting for him not to want you anymore because you knew it was inevitable…. which may be the case, depending on who broke up with whom.

Post # 5
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

no clue!

Post # 7
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@bluehydrangeas:  I think I’d need some more background to try and decode this. Out of context, it’s difficult to make sense of it.

That being said, I do agree with @BellagioBride … don’t overthink it, it will make you crazy.

Post # 9
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

 

@bluehydrangeas:  Because he broke up with you, I am definitely going to say just leave it. He wasn’t the one. The man of your dreams will not invent excuses or point blame to get out of a relationship. It reminds me of that crap men pull when they want to break up with you. The act like complete douchebags until you are fed up enough to dump them. The do this because they are too cowardly to do the dirty work themselves. Just thank your lucky stars that this guy set you free so that you can find a man who won’t twist your brain with riddles!

Post # 10
Member
1796 posts
Buzzing bee

let it go, he misunderstood what you said.

Post # 11
Member
2577 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Men are strange.

That is all.

Post # 12
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think he misunderstood what you meant.  I’d let it go.

Post # 13
Member
2587 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - UK

I can sort of see what he’s saying.

Whilst to you, it’s obvious you’re saying “I’ll be here as long as you want me here” – saying the choice is his, he’s possibly hearing, “You’ll only have me for as long as I say you’ll have me.” Does that make sense? The “as long as you’ll have me” can be misinterpreted as “until I say you can’t have me”.

 

I think.

Post # 14
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@bluehydrangeas: To him it sounds like you have no confidence in the relationship and would not be ready to fight for it if things got difficult.  Like you don’t particularly care if you’re with him or not but can’t be bothered to do anything about it.

Post # 15
Member
9917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@bluehydrangeas:  I said “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”

he said “i don’t like it when you say that.  It puts into perspective just how much I really don’t have you. It’s like you’re playing a waiting game.”

 

You basically said, “I’m with you as long as you’re still interested in me, and I have no confidence in this relationship or in you.  Tell me what I want to hear, which is that you love me and everything is okay.” 

So he responding, “I don’t like it when you say that because it reminds me that you have no confidence in our relationship or in me.  When you say things like that it makes me think you are manipulating me into saying what you want.”    I think his response was honest and straightfoward, actually.  

Post # 16
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Aww that is such a hard situation. ((HUGS))

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