Post # 1
Went to my first wedding last week followed by a week in Vegas with my guy and his friends and a surprise visit from his parents in Vegas…first time we met (very surprised to just suddenly see them at our hotel pool ). I’ve kept my mouth shut and haven’t initiated wedding/engagement related conversations for 2 months now and I’m feeling quite proud of myself. But the wedding related topics have been heavy the last week. My guy kept asking if we got married, who would be my bridesmaids – I had no idea. His friend (a DJ) kept joking that if we got married we needed to hire him and later that he was going to get us drunk and married in Vegas (didn’t happen). His dad kept making random wedding comments that weren’t directed at anyone but they were still out of place – like pointing out every wedding cake/chapel and a weird toasting remark.
The icing on the cake? A couple months back we dropped into a jewlery store and my guy picked up a card from the zales lady for an appointment on May 11th for a special custom something-or-another event they are having here. We got back to Philly last night to pick up some stuff we left at his brother’s house. As I’m gathering, lo and behold, the card was laying on the pile of stuff that is usually in his pocket that he emptied before the trip. Guess it just made me feel good that he still had it. Still have no expectations as I’m not sure how to read it all. Just simply hopeful.
To all you ladies out there: Do you have any short-term keep quiet goals? Mine was till after the wedding, and I made it. I think I’m going to try after my birthday (May 19th) or perhaps till after our anniversary (June 4th) if I’m feeling adventureous.
What are your goals and what are you doing to distract yourself from it all?
Post # 3
You are doing great- good luck!
Post # 4
Thanks. It gets easier the more time goes by.
Post # 5
Aww good luck hope it happens soon:) I’m going to try to keep my mouth shut until after our anniversary this summer but I don’t know ifI can last. We’ll see.
Post # 6
Good job with keeping quiet! Good luck on your goals. Mine it to keep quiet until after our vacation in late August (personally, I don’t think that that’s short term… 🙂 )
Post # 7
@RinaRoo: Thanks. Yeah, August isn’t quite short term. But maybe I should try for something a little more bold, like August.
@wishingonadream04: I’m sure you’ll do fine. I think on paper the summer seems so far away. It’ll probably be here before you realize it. What’s going to make it hard for you?
Post # 8
My short-term goal is keeping quiet about all things wedding-related! Normally we’re in a LDR, but he’s visiting right now, so that makes it that much harder! So far I’m on day 11! Feeling good…he has the ring but is waiting for me to stop talking so much about it so he can surprise me!
It probably won’t happen this visit…but I visit him in a few weeks…so I’m hoping me keeping quiet through all this will help my chances in May!
I think it’s great you’ve set goals for yourself…they really help with waiting!
Post # 9
Well, i had been doing good about not talking about it, but I opened my trap yesterday
Anyway, my short short term goal is to last till May 24th or so. He’s leaving for another country then for vacation, so I won’t really be able to talk to him much for about 2 or 3 weeks after. I figure if I don’t talk/bug him about it now, and he goes away and misses me, maybe he’ll get on it faster? Haha we’ll see!
My long short term goal is after his sister’s wedding in August. I’m hoping he’ll see the wedding and maybe be more inclined to propose. Who knows?
Post # 10
@claireos:Sorry, didn’t check the replies on this thread until now. I think what will make it hard for me to keep quiet is that I always open my mouth about it. I say things like “so when are we getting married” or venting to him about others bugging me about when it will happen. After they ask me, then I always have to tell him about it and he says “why are they pushing us to ge married?” I’m sorry but it’s been nearly 7 years it’s about time something happens. So, I’m going to try to wait to say anything else until after our anniversary.
Post # 11
My current goal is as long as I can. And I’ve decided because we’ve had SOOOO many talks about it, that as soon as I can’t keep my mouth shut anymore, if he hasn’t proposed by then, I will move on.
I don’t want to, but I’m thinking at my age, how long can I really wait… he’s been saying it was going to happen for a long time and I have believed him (although I obsess about it and convince myself it’s never coming) so this time, I told myself quiet as long as I can, but when I can’t hold it anymore, it’s time to DO something about it.
The positive side of it is that it does seem like it’s coming. So, we’ll see!
Post # 12
if it had been 7 years, I would talk about it every day. But ever since I shut my trap on the topic, we’ve been getting on much better and my behaviour overall has changed. I’m enjoying spending more me-time, and though the desire has not quelled in the slightest, I am enjoying my time with him more, without the anxiety of a proposal constantly weighing in on the conversation. I wish you the best!
Post # 13
My goal right now is to make it though mid-June keeping pretty quiet about ‘us’. It’s just so hard – my 1/2 brother just got engaged and my 10-years-younger cousin just annouced an August date for his wedding to his long-term girlfriend. I told Boyfriend or Best Friend about both of these events, letting him know we were expected to go to both and tried not to have the ‘waiting’ reaction, hard as it was. I haven’t mentioned anything other than one dream a few weeks back about us getting married at his office and me worrying about being late – nothing else since about September.
He’s freaking out right now about being a groomsman in the June wedding, so I don’t want to add to that or have a fussy, argumentative home environment right now (also, his brother’s Fiance is graduating this week from college, his sister is having her second child nd we’re transporting the grandparents to the hospital, we have a baby shower for friends coming up in another week, along with entertaining another pregger friend while her husband rudn a marathon AND the bachelor/bachelorette night’s out will be the same night as the shower and marathon in another town – so much/too much is going on!).
My friend getting married in June in a big 400 guest deal keeps making shocked comments (when she and I are alone) that EVERYONE around me is getting married (11 couples now engaged and/or married since Fall 2010) – like I’m unaware of it or something. 🙁 She’s not trying to be mean, I guess she’s trying to get me to talk about it, but her Fiance stops by randomly and I really don’t want to be in tears in front of aynone about this, which is what will happen if I open up more than I have. I can talk to you guys about it, partly because you’ll never run into me or Boyfriend or Best Friend and feel you have to “choose sides”.
I need to get my mind off it – this website helps sometimes by letting me vent and keep from crying at home over nothing, but I’m finding myself having the ‘resentment’ issue with Boyfriend or Best Friend and can’t pass it off as vauge depression about probelms at work much longer. I just want to experieince what I see everyone else feeling, and feel like every day that goes by is just another day wasted, another day I’m just getting older and still unmarried, silly as that sounds. He just lets time pass and has little awareness of it, while I’m HYPER-aware of it.
Post # 14
My “short-term” goal is to just get through the day. I’m pretty much a compulsive planner too, so everynight before I go to bed I mark in my calendar (on my phone) “Day X(however many days I’ve made it) – no engagement talk”. It helps me feel a little more accomplished as I don’t want to screw it up and go back to day 1 again!