(Closed) Trash the Dress…..Help Needed

posted 5 years ago in Photos/Videos
Post # 3
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

Many brides do not like to ruin their dress by doing a trash the dress session, I don’t plan on doing one. I would prefer to keep the dress intact and preserved ๐Ÿ™‚

So I would just accept your wife’s decision. It is her dress.

Post # 4
Member
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I wouldnt pressure her into wrecking her dress, a lot of girls get emotionally attached to their dresses…

If you like the idea of the shoot itself id suggest finding another dress (maybe a  ica made from like jasmin’s bridal or the like) and doing it in that?

Post # 5
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You could ask her to do a Rock the Dress session. I’ve been seeing them pop up in wedding blogs…it is more about taking cool pictures in the dress, sometimes with the groom present, than trashing it.

 ETA: of course, I’ll add on to what PP have said…don’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do with her dress! There is definitely an emotional attachement to the dress. 

Post # 6
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

[content moderated for snark, criticizing someone’s wedding choice]

Is this an American tradition? 

Post # 7
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think it’s an American tradition, so much as a fairly new one.

Post # 8
Member
934 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah, I don’t think its solely American. I see it a lot here in Canada too. I think it is just a new trend in wedding photography. 

Post # 9
Member
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

@yog87:  It is a fairly new tradition, I certainly have never been keen on it but to each their own ๐Ÿ™‚ I don’t know anyone IRL who has done it though, I’m in Australia but it is gathering popularity around the world

Post # 10
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Trash is just a term used as most dont really “trash” the dress. Getting it wet is not trashing it either, the dress will be fine when it dries. Ive put many dresses in the falls/lake. Its really more of a glamour style photo shoot.

Tell her to do a “glam” shoot with her dress, she may feel better about that and willing. ๐Ÿ™‚ It is such a waste for it to collect dust. ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 11
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Each to their own if both people want to but she is reluctant. Sounds like she has a bit of class which used to be seen as a good thing. I wouldn’t push her into it if its not something that appeals to her.

Post # 12
Member
1314 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

I can understand not necessarily feeling like doing another photoshoot, but what I don’t get is the perception that the dress is in shreds by the end of it, or how attached some brides get to this garment hanging in their closet that will literally never be worn again.  Since we began shooting weddings in 2005 we’ve had excactly one bride wear her mother’s dress, and it was not the best look.  The odds of your daughter (future or current) wanting to wear your dress to her wedding if she gets married is very slim.  And for the other ladies that intend to use the dress in other ways, those ways typically involve cutting it up.  The only scenario that it makes sense to me to use the safety as the dress as a reason not to do a shoot is if you are going to attempt to sell your dress or donate it.

Not all trash the dress sessions involve water, swamps, mud, or other factors that could potentially but not always cause harm to the dress.

 

Post # 13
Member
2287 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

That dress is likely very expensive and something she may hope to pass down to a daughter. If she does not want to do a trash the dress session then leave it be.

Post # 14
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I personally don’t like the idea of this type of photo shoot, based on photos I’ve seen.  I just don’t really get it.  However, a “glam” shoot would definitely be something I would be interested in doing.  An excuse to wear my pretty dress again in dramatic hair and makeup, yes please!  

Post # 15
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to be doing it! I’m ok with a little dirt and water. It’s just a dress! I don’t really plan on passing it down to my daughter or keeping it stowed away for years never to wear again, then again, I’m not dropping thousands of dollars on it. 

What type of dress does she have? Is it something that can be dry cleaned easily? Maybe find some inspirational pictures you like and show them to her, and you can think of a way to do this without ruining the dress? I’ve seen people put white sheets down under the dress if you’re in a place with dirt, so maybe that will work! 

Good luck, nice to see a male perspective on this site, I sure hope my Fiance is willing to do it!

Post # 16
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

Heavymetalmomma, have you considered selling it and donating the money to charity or donating it to a less fortunate bride? I can’t wait to buy and wear a stunning dress and then donate it to someone who can’t afford their own. 

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