Post # 32
Didn’t read through everything but here are my thoughts:
First, the dress is almost always trashed to some degree by the end of the wedding. You’ve been dragging fabric around on the ground for 6+ hours, sweating in it, bustles brake on the dance floor, little rips from people stepping on it…..
We call these after the wedding shoots Rock the Dress rather than TTD. Some decide they want to get in the water etc but for the most part it’s just a photo shoot after the wedding in a different location without the crazy time schedule you have to stick to on the wedding day.
For the person you said it’s narcissistic… Arn’t weddings themselves sort of narcissistic? It’s VERY offensive that you said people who want good photos of themselves are classless, it’s rude and there is no room on the board for offensive people. Why are you having a wedding in the first place. If you are so concerned about it, you should just elope and donate your wedding money to charity.
Post # 33
[content moderated for personal attack]
Styles – Some nice points but I do disagree. I think it’s bad to purposefully trash anything, not just because it is one of many symbols of a wedding.
Heavymetalmomma – You have some really cool ideas. It is difficult sometimes to differentiate between scroungers and genuine people who need help, youre right. I hope whatever you decide to do, you’re happy with your choice!
Post # 34
@yog87: Wow, to say someone doesn’t have class because they do a trash the dress shoot. What the hell?
You come off as not knowing what the hell you are talking about btw. Many brides that do a “Trash the dress” shoot don’t destroy their dresses. It’s just a term, not a way to determine a bride’s class level like you seem to think. Many brides get their dress wet, esp those that had Destination Wedding weddings on a beach and hang them up and the dress is fine. Friend of mine got married on the beach in Mexico and got pics of her and her husband playing in the surf in their wedding clothes. Pictures were amazing and you could see the love they had for each other as well as the playful spirit as well. Her dress got soaked and she said she hung it up in her room that night….next day dress was completely fine.
I got married on the beach as well and considered doing a trash the dress shoot, our friend would have done it for us if we asked. Only reason I didn’t was I just wanted us to enjoy our next day on the beach since we only had a short amount of time there after the wedding. I still have my dress(which the bottom is black anyways from all the walking around). I plan on shortening my simple chiffon dress and dying it black to wear on a wedding anniversary one year….guess I’m the epitome of trash in your eyes as well.
What are you gonna do with your dress?
Post # 35
I think you need to read all previous posts. Like I just said I am NOT talking about having pictures taken of your dress on the beach or in the water. I shouldnt need to repeat myself over and over about this anymore. Everything i want to say i have said already and would advise all offended people to read properly and understand what I am and AM NOT talking about.
You’re right I had no idea what trash the dress was and I looked it up and now I know. It is the “art” of destruction of a bride’s wedding dress. What you describe is NOT what I am talking about so I don’t see your point.
One more time for the people having trouble – I PERSONALLY THINK that purposefully trashing ANYTHING (that could be re-used/donated) for VANITY REASONS is WRONG and a sad symbol of society in general. That is my opinion. I don’t think anyone unclassy for wanting nice pictures. I have ZERO problems with strong opposing arguments but outright LYING and twisting of my comments because you are defensive and insecure is very disappointing to see from adults.
I absolutely do NOT think you are trashy for editing and re-using your wedding dress. What a random thing to say. Of course I dont, its a REALLY nice idea. Ive said nothing to suggest I would think differently. The comments here are becoming WAY too irrelevant. I was happy to discuss differences in opinions people but I’m not going to spend any more time telling people what I did and did not say. It’s above in black and white. Read it, understand it and then get over it.
And I don’t know what I’m going to do with my dress yet. Probably either sell and donate the money to my long standing charity or donate the dress itself to somebody in a less affluent country somewhere. Who knows, maybe I will keep, edit and re-use as you plan to.
Any lies or irrelevant comments won’t be responded to from here on out.
Post # 36
Explain to her that the term “trash the dress” does not generally mean that the dress actually gets ruined. It might get a bit wet or dirty, but that is pretty fixeable. There is the exception, of course, for when people do the ones involving paint, but if she’s reluctant to trash the dress then I wouldn’t suggest that. Just explain to her that she can decide how “trashed” the dress ends up being. I’m doing a trash the dress session and fully expect that my dress will be fine after I get it cleaned. It’s a shocking name for something that’s generally quite mundane. Most of the time it means wading into the water and/or doing shots in a forest.
Post # 37
I think the words ‘trash the dress’ sound kinda extreme for what most people do during a session. Sometimes they are exposed to water or dirt or even horseback, for cool looking pictures but I wouldn’t consider that ‘trashed’. It’s just a cool photo shoot where you can bring interesting elements into the photos without worring about your dress since you won’t be wearing it again.
To be honest I think I would rather have the photo’s than the pristine dress – both are art, it just depends what art you would rather keep.
Post # 38
OK back to the original poster – We are doing our Trash the Dress/Rock the Frock/Day After Shoot whatever term you prefer for our first wedding anniversary. On our wedding day we got some amazing shots but our photographer does incredible after shoots and we decided that we wanted some more artistic relaxed shots of us. When was your actual wedding? She may want to do it after some time has passed (I was not wanting to do it right after the wedding) We are going to San Francisco for our shoot and I am thrilled. I may not use my dress for all of the shots – I have a second dress and then also may do some in a more casual style (suit and cocktail dress) as well.
So an alternative dress with her hair and makeup all done to celebrate could be fun for an anniversary shoot.
And I apologize for the drama lol – you came here asking an innocent question and hopefully everyone will focus on your question – just try talking to her and find out is that she does not want to damage the dress or does not want to spend the money or what and then you can make a great decision as a couple
Good luck – I am truly excited about ours!
Post # 39
@unixfairy: That is actually a GREAT idea doing it for your first anniversay. Our wedding was only 2 weeks ago but we are seriously talking about making a trip back to the beach we got married on for our one year anniversary a priority.
Thanks for an awesome idea!
Post # 40
@PatrickNoble: Glad this thread is getting back on track. Have you talked to your wife again?
Post # 41
@PatrickNoble: you could get her a gift certificate to her hair salon to use before the photo shoot! Maybe she thinks its silly to get all dressed up again, but if you show her you think it’s awesome, she might get excited about it!
Post # 42
@CityBearBride: That is a great idea! Also he could include for her makeup to be done as well. And maybe he could plan a nice outing together afterwards since she will have her hair and makeup done. Make it into one huge date!
Post # 43
@yog87: photographers need to make money, it’s a hard economy.
Post # 44
Wow is all I have to say.
To you Pat, I am doing a trash the dress shoot, we havent decided if we are doing it with paint or mud or what yet though, but I bought a cheap $100 dress for this purpose. My actual dress will be cut up when the time comes to make christening gowns for our future children (if we have any)
Maybe look up some photos of TTD shoots to show her how fun they look, how amazing they turn out and not always destroy the gown. Or buy a cheap dress for the shoot
Post # 45
[content moderated for snark, criticizing wedding choice]
Post # 46
@MrsDocHorrorShow: Well crap, just when I thought this thread was gonna be back on track for the poor OP, a guy no less, that just wanted to see his lovely bride in her gown again and get some photos of it.
How many times does it have to be said that “Trash the Dress” doesn’t necessarily literally mean destroying the dress. It is just a term used.