(Closed) trashy rehearsal dinner??

posted 4 years ago in Logistics
  • poll: do you think a casual rehearsal dinner @ a house is okay for a formal wedding?
    ew. I would be disappointed if I went to a house for a rehearsal dinner. : (6 votes)
    4 %
    this sounds good, but definitely not pizza : (29 votes)
    20 %
    yes! sounds good & pizza is fine! : (107 votes)
    75 %
    other - explain below :) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    47255 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    pinktulleaffair:  It is perfectly acceptable to have an in-home rehearsal dinner. It can be as casual as you like. Bees have had pizza and bowling for their rehearsal dinner.

    Post # 3
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think it sounds completely reasonable! I’m sorry none of the restaurants would accommodate you though, that’s frustrating! 

    Post # 4
    549 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I always thought I would want a formal rehearsal dinner until I went to my sisters which was very casual and at our mom’s house and I LOVED it. We could mix and mingle and get to know each other a lot easier than sitting at a long table at a restaurant. 



    Post # 5
    1866 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    Sounds good to me! I don’t think it’s trashy at all and I think anyone who thinks it is needs to take several seats.

    My cousin’s wedding was a formal affair and her rehearsal dinner was by the lake and casual the day before. A few even wore bathing suits and went swimming. Food was catered and set up near the bar by the lake where there are tables and chairs that she reserved for her party. It was a ton of fun and a great laid back way for everyone to mingle and get to know one another without it being so “formal”. 

    Post # 7
    1663 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Sounds good!! My brother and SIL had their rehearsal dinner at my parent’s house and it was really nice. They had potatoe soup and salad, but pizza sounds yummy!!

    Post # 8
    1867 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think if you decorate so it’s cute and feed everyone something tasty, it should be fine.  My bridal shower was at my parents’ home, and it felt way more classy than many others I have been to at other venues, because of the detail everyone put into the decor!

    Post # 9
    585 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    Yeah PP has it right. Your rehearsal dinner does not have to match the formality of your wedding. I was going to say I am not having a black tie wedding, but it’s going to be pretty formal (at least for me and my party, never know what guests will show up wearing…oh well), and we are having an uber-casual rehearsal dinner with pizza and some kind of trivia or riddle game MCed by my dad (my dad loves to MC, so I couldn’t miss an opportunity to throw him in the spotlight). We’re actually inviting all our guests to our rehearsal dinner, which we will call a “welcome dinner” (thanks, Bee blogger!) and we’re getting the pizza from the pizza shop (delivery–not fancy in the least) Fiance owns. 
    I think your rehearsal dinner at your parents sounds really nice and not even close to trashy. You might also notice some bonuses that you didn’t think of before, like no time limits and ability for guests to roam a little bit. If you’re concerned about drinking and driving, just provide transportation info like cab numbers uber/lyft/sidecar info if available, or splurge on a shuttle (maybe your hotel has some kind of discounted service?). 

    Post # 10
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    pinktulleaffair:  we had ours in our back yard. We grilled hamburgeds and brats and played bags. Everyone had a lot of fun 🙂 it’s your wedding.  Do what you love and do not worry what others will think.  Your rehearsal is for your and your party not a bunch of stangers!!  If your family and friends know and love you.  I think the only way they would judge of it was something that wasn’t “you”.

    Post # 11
    5154 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    pinktulleaffair:  This is not trashy at all. We had a very fancy wedding but had our rehearsal dinner at my parents house, catered by a BBQ place. In all honesty, I think people preferred it to another event where they need a nice outfit, etc. People came in shorts and we played lawn games and ate BBQ and hung out. We had such a blast. I highly recommend it. 

    Post # 12
    4037 posts
    Honey bee

    We hosted a black-tie wedding, for our daughter. Her inlaws hosted a picnic, in their backyard. I only ate about 3 things, before dessert, including the fruit bowl I made, because I’m a vegetarian. I was going to bring a yogurt, but I forgot. I go by the “no pay, no say rule.”

    I don’t care where your event is held, but I’d prefer some variety in the food offered; i.e. I don’t eat pizza and neither does my mother.

    Post # 13
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    The best rehearsal dinner I ever went to, we had pizza and beer/wine/champagne. People still talk about how fun it was, and that was 3 years ago. 

    Post # 14
    1740 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I’m a little conflicted.  

    I think it’s 100% okay to have the rehearsal dinner at your parents’ house.  In fact, I think it may even be preferrable because then people will feel more comfortable handing out and talking and not feeling pressure from the restaurant to leave.   But I’m not sure that I would have pizza.  That seems too casual.  I don’t mean in comparison to your wedding, I just mean for an at-home rehearsal dinner.

    And yet, I’m having pizza at my rehearsal dinner, and so I fully recognize that my opnion may not make sense.  But my dinner will be held at my venue (a vineyard), and the venue has a wood fired pizza oven that will keep preparing pizza for 3 hours until we are done and gone, and somehow in my mine that makes it different from having pizza at home.  I think of pizza at home as what we do when we don’t want to cook dinner, so I associate it as even more casual than a “normal” at home dinner.   But pizza at a venue that is a little nicer seems different.  

    It is completely possible that I am splitting hairs or just being too…..picky.   Nonetheless, I voted that the at home dinner is fine, just not pizza.

    Post # 15
    1182 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I don’t think the rehearsal dinner is a huge deal, and I’ve been to many of various degrees of formality.  The point is to do the rehearsal and feed people, which does not need to be in a restaurant.  I think you can hold a dinner in your home without it being trashy.  That said, while I personally would have no problem with pizza, it would be good to have a variety of food for people to choose from.  Maybe a few deli trays from the grocery store and a couple of hot options in crock pots?  Or catering if money isn’t a factor.

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