Post # 1
My friend is getting married and I got an invitation to his wedding with a +1. Since, I wasn’t dating anyone at the time, I RSVP:ed saying that I would come, but without a +1. Now, only a two weeks after the invitation, I started dating my current girlfriend and things have progressed very quickly. By the time of the wedding, we’ll probably already be living together.
Now, I live in the Midwest and the wedding is on the West Coast, far from civilization. So I have to take some days off work, fly across the continent, rent a car and pay for hotel rooms. Since I don’t have many days of vacation, I would really like to do this trip together with my girlfriend. I did ask my friend if I could bring her, but he couldn’t promise that, and might be too late. I would have to accept that of course.
Would it be of bad etiquette to travel to the wedding with my girlfriend anyway, but have her do some other activitity the day of the wedding? I’m sure my girlfriend will understand, but I don’t want to make my friend feel bad about not allowing a late addition to the wedding.
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
jaean: I find it a bit strange that in 2 weeks time you went from not dating to talking about moving in with someone… anyhow, I would say that if she is comfortable, then bring her and let your friend know that she will be traveling with you, but is aware that she may not be able to attend the wedding, so if there is an extra seat to let you know. Many times someone gets sick and can’t make it last minute. So perhaps she would be able to fill in that seat. As long as all involved are aware and comfortable with the situation, go for it.
Post # 3
When is the wedding?
Yes, you can travel with her and she can do something else the day of the wedding if they are unable to squeeze her in. You are adults,no one is limiting who you travel with and where.
I am a bit confused on
“Now, I live in the Midwest and the wedding is on the West Coast, far from civilization”
The West Coast has civilization… it is not a vast wasteland.
Post # 4
MrsSapphire: FWIW, I got the invitation 4 months ago. So we’re dating for a bit over 3 months now. And we both have move out of current appartments in two months from now, but still before the wedding… But that’s probably besides the point.
Post # 5
You can travel with whoever you want. If you want to bring your girlfriend and make a vacation out of it, that’s not rude at all. It would be rude if you brought your girlfriend to the wedding after RSVPing without a +1.
Post # 6
When is this wedding? I’m assuming if you already RSVPed it has to be soon, right? I’m also confused as to how you went from dating no one, to being in a super serious relationship within 2 weeks, but that’s not the point I guess.
Anyway, I think it would be fine to bring your Girlfriend along on your trip with you, as long as you were 100% up front with her about her going and doing her own thing on the wedding day. Also, if I was the bride in this situation, even if we couldn’t fit your Girlfriend in for dinner I’d be happy to have her show up afterwards for drinks and dancing. Maybe that’s a possibility?
Post # 7
theatrejulia: The wedding is in September, in a national park area. So if I travel all the way there, I want to spend some days hiking. Invitations were sent out in March.
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s bad etiquette to travel to a wedding with someone who will not be attending the wedding. It would be bad etiquette to pressure the hosts into adding another seat for your girlfriend, or to pressure your girlfriend into coming on the trip if she isn’t comfortable being alone while you’re attending the wedding. But otherwise, I see no problem with this.