Post # 1
I’ll try to keep things short 🙂
Last summer 2015, my husband and I left our hometown and moved to a bigger state that is on two hours on plane distance. Is not much, but because of airplane fare we can’t really visit them as often as we would like to.
We were originally planning to go visit our families this summer (for which I was really excited) but because my husband just started this new job, he doesn’t want to ask for vacations. He seems to be happy in this new job and I would never ask for him to quit it just to see family. Anyway, yesterday I was checking an airline website because I had these gut feeling that I should, and I noticed that airplane tickets to our hometown had dropped 70% off their original price. I told husband and he said “Why don’t you go visit your family?”.
Well, this got me startled. I guess I found the idea of traveling without him simply odd. I said I couldn’t, but he insisted so I eventually give in. I am a very family-oriented person and, being completely honest, I really miss spending time with my mom, dad and sisters, and even though husband promised we would spend our next Christmas with them I just can’t wait any longer.
So, I bought my roundtrip ticket for one week and now I am here, typing this because I feel really guilty. I know the emotion is silly because it is not as if I am doing anything wrong, but I can’t shake the feeling that I shouldn’t be traveling to see my parents without my husband. I asked him if he felt bad because he wasn’t going to see his family, even offered that he accompany me for one weekend, but he said he is okay and can wait until the end of year, plus he doesn’t see the point in spending so much mone for just a weekend.
I should be happy, yet I am feeling too guilty for this. Anyone else has experience anything like this? Any ideas on what I can do to feel less guilty? I was planning on bringing him back from our hometown some spices and food products that we can’t find on our new town, but even this is not enough to make me feel less guilty.
Post # 2
I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all and have nothing to feel guilty about. Buying him a small gift like you mentioned is a sweet gesture that I’m sure he would appreciate. Enjoy the time with your family!
Post # 3
newlywednewbie: Stop doing this to yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with travelling by yourself to see your family.
I used to go home to visit my Mom and Dad (they’re dead now) quite often, especially after I had children. Let’s face it, our husbands are never as interested in visiting our family as we are, and vice versa.
Don’t ruin your visit with a self-imposed guilt trip.
Post # 4
Don’t feel guilty about it! It’s ok to have fun without your spouse present and it sounds like you’re really missing your family. Even though I’m married, I still sometimes have slumber parties with my sister and Darling Husband goes away for the weekend to go to NFL games. We also both travel fairly often for work. Absence makes the heart grow fonder – and when I’m gone Darling Husband enjoys watching tv shows that I hate and staying up late. When he’s gone, I veg and read books and get takeout for dinner or work on sewing projects. A little time apart helps us love each other more.
Post # 5
Not at all, my husband and I have both done this. For the last 2 years after xmas I have stayed an entire month with my family since I am already there and can work from anywhere. Husband usually only stays about 10 day. We value not being attached at the hip.
Post # 6
Don’t feel guilty, he suggested you go and even declined when you asked him to join you. Enjoy your holiday to see your family.
2 years ago I did the same thing. My sister lives in Australia and my parents planned a trip to meet “in the middle” in Hawaii. My husband and I declined going due to money but as my parents departure came closer I really felt like I was missing out. We looked into flights and used our reward points for me to fly there and surprise them all. Because it was last minute (and expensive) Darling Husband stayed home and let me have that precious time with my family. It felt weird to be without him, but it was only a few days and I’ll always be grateful I got an unforgettable holiday with my loved ones.
Post # 7
I visit my family without Fiance all the time, it’s not a big deal. I enjoy getting to see my family and he enjoys having the apartment all to himself for a week 🙂
Post # 8
Don’t feel guilty. I’ve done it, as have many many other married women (and men).
Post # 9
I honestly find it strange how worried you are about this. I think it’s nice to see your parents without your husband from time to time, you are still seperate people once you are married.
Post # 10
It sounds like a very reasonable trip. You’re not abandoning your husband, and he gave you his blessing too. Have a great time!
Post # 11
I get what you mean. I would feel guilty, but consiously know I did nothing wrong. I think we’re mistaking missing them with guilt. You’re probably just missing him, and that’s making you feel bad for leaving.
Maybe if you look at it this way it’ll help….don’t waste your time out there with your family feeling guilty and worrying about your husband. Then you would have wasted money and time away from him to not even fully enjoy yourself. Have fun with your family!
Post # 12
Such is life when you move away from home. It’s not always easy but the important thing is you’re seeing family and he supports you doing so. nothing but good news:-)
Post # 13
I also don’t understand why you would feel bad. He encouraged you to go, and you’re just going to see your family. If you were going on an extravagant vacation without him I would understand your feelings. In this instance I say go enjoy your time with your family and don’t worry about him! Sometimes a few days apart is healthy for a relationship and reminds people how much they love having their spouse around!
Post # 14
I don’t understand why anyone would feel guilty in this case. FH and I have slightly different holiday schedules and vacation accrual rates. Our top priority is going to new places together, not retreading–so visiting parents can be done separately if necessary.
Post # 15
newlywednewbie: its a week right? Doesn’t sound like very much time. Its 7 days out of 365 days in a year. i guess my perspective is different because I’m gone away for work 3-5 nights a week. I actually think time apart can be a very very good thing sometimes!