(Closed) Traveling to see parents without husband: Would you feel guilty? [POLL}

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you feel guilty for leaving your husband for a whole week in order to visit your family?
    Yes. : (9 votes)
    7 %
    No. : (114 votes)
    92 %
    Other (please comment) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong at all and have nothing to feel guilty about. Buying him a small gift like you mentioned is a sweet gesture that I’m sure he would appreciate. Enjoy the time with your family! 

    Post # 3
    Member
    47187 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    newlywednewbie:  Stop doing this to yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with travelling by yourself to see your family.

    I used to go home to visit my Mom and Dad (they’re dead now) quite often, especially after I had children. Let’s face it, our husbands are never as interested in visiting our family as we are, and vice versa.

    Don’t ruin your visit with a self-imposed guilt trip.

    Post # 4
    Hostess
    1726 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Don’t feel guilty about it! It’s ok to have fun without your spouse present and it sounds like you’re really missing your family. Even though I’m married, I still sometimes have slumber parties with my sister and Darling Husband goes away for the weekend to go to NFL games. We also both travel fairly often for work. Absence makes the heart grow fonder – and when I’m gone Darling Husband enjoys watching tv shows that I hate and staying up late. When he’s gone, I veg and read books and get takeout for dinner or work on sewing projects. A little time apart helps us love each other more. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1147 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Not at all, my husband and I have both done this. For the last 2 years after xmas I have stayed an entire month with my family since I am already there and can work from anywhere. Husband usually only stays about 10 day. We value not being attached at the hip.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2089 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Don’t feel guilty, he suggested you go and even declined when you asked him to join you. Enjoy your holiday to see your family.

    2 years ago I did the same thing. My sister lives in Australia and my parents planned a trip to meet “in the middle” in Hawaii. My husband and I declined going due to money but as my parents departure came closer I really felt like I was missing out. We looked into flights and used our reward points for me to fly there and surprise them all. Because it was last minute (and expensive) Darling Husband stayed home and let me have that precious time with my family. It felt weird to be without him, but it was only a few days and I’ll always be grateful I got an unforgettable holiday with my loved ones. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    9669 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    I visit my family without Fiance all the time, it’s not a big deal. I enjoy getting to see my family and he enjoys having the apartment all to himself for a week 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    7643 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Don’t feel guilty. I’ve done it, as have many many other married women (and men).

    Post # 9
    Member
    1869 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I honestly find it strange how worried you are about this. I think it’s nice to see your parents without your husband from time to time, you are still seperate people once you are married. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7905 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    It sounds like a very reasonable trip. You’re not abandoning your husband, and he gave you his blessing too. Have a great time! 

    Post # 11
    Member
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    I get what you mean. I would feel guilty, but consiously know I did nothing wrong. I think we’re mistaking missing them with guilt. You’re probably just missing him, and that’s making you feel bad for leaving.

    Maybe if you look at it this way it’ll help….don’t waste your time out there with your family feeling guilty and worrying about your husband. Then you would have wasted money and time away from him to not even fully enjoy yourself. Have fun with your family! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    11651 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Such is life when you move away from home. It’s not always easy but the important thing is you’re seeing family and he supports you doing so. nothing but good news:-) 

    Post # 13
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I also don’t understand why you would feel bad. He encouraged you to go, and you’re just going to see your family. If you were going on an extravagant vacation without him I would understand your feelings. In this instance I say go enjoy your time with your family and don’t worry about him! Sometimes a few days apart is healthy for a relationship and reminds people how much they love having their spouse around! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I don’t understand why anyone would feel guilty in this case. FH and I have slightly different holiday schedules and vacation accrual rates. Our top priority is going to new places together, not retreading–so visiting parents can be done separately if necessary.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1490 posts
    Bumble bee

    newlywednewbie:  its a week right? Doesn’t sound like very much time. Its 7 days out of 365 days in a year. i guess my perspective is different because I’m gone away for work 3-5 nights a week. I actually think time apart can be a very very good thing sometimes! 

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