Post # 16
I don’t see an issue with this at all. It’s not as though you don’t want him to go/he doesn’t want you to go – circumstances just don’t permit it.
Go, see your family and get your Darling Husband a small “I missed you” present.
Post # 17
I thino your being silly. Married couples can do stuff independentley of one another and should do. He’s happy for you to go and you get your parents/sisters to yourself for a whole week.
Post # 18
newlywednewbie: logically speaking you’re nuts for getting this way but I FEEL THE SAME WAY. my Fiance and I both encourage each other to do this yet we each can’t being ourselves to travel to see family without the other. It’s ridiculous but it just feels wrong in my relationship and I think I’ll feel a magnified version of this after we get married. Ugh! I’m sorry I’m not much help but I want you to know that you’re not alone and maybe there’s nothing wrong with us
Post # 19
I do this all the time.
Don’t feel guilty over something that was his decision. And remember it’s a decision he is happy with.
Post # 20
The last time I visited my family I purposefully left a week earlier than my Darling Husband so I could have some one-on-one time with my family members. It was great- I stayed up all night chatting with my mother over girlie things and I got to spend an entire day alone with my dad and talk with just us two. I loved it and got to call Darling Husband and tell him all about it every day. I’ve noticed when a lot of people get married they only spend time together with their families as a couple and I didn’t want that for us. My husband still needs to be able to visit and spend time with his family without me there sometimes as I should do with mine. I want our families to know that although we are a unit now we are still separate people and will continue to nourish our one-on-one relationships with each family member. So no, I have no problem with it.
Post # 21
Not a big deal. My husband and I travel separately ALL of the time.
Post # 22
I see no reason whatsoever to feel torn over this. Marriage doesn’t mean you are no longer indivduals. Life isn’t a neat little box. Over a lifetime I certainly expect that schedules sometimes conflict, or there are financial reasons to do things sepertaley. No big deal. I also enjoy my identity outside of the one I also share with my partner. It’s healthy IMO, that people should balance the two.
Post # 23
I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about, and if he’s fine with it, even better. I travel without my fiancé all the time. If I want to go back to our hometown to visit for a long weekend and he can’t make it, and I can afford to go, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I don’t think he would either.
Post # 24
I would feel guilty about taking a week long trip to some spot that we have always wanted to visit together or going on a once in a life time trip with some girlfriends but not visiting my parents
I mean yes its great to see family and all but I don’t count that as a vacation!
haha I actually just was telling my Darling Husband this yesterday when I was complaining that we don’t have anything fun planned and he was like we are going to vegas on friday but to me it doesn’t count cause its to see his sister and her newborn (which is awesome don’t get me wrong and I can’t wait to see them but its not a “vacation” in my mind)
Post # 25
You should not feel guilty about this. Enjoy the time with your family! Life happens, and there very well may be a time in the future when he gets to go when you can’t.
Post # 26
newlywednewbie: Definitely nothing to feel guilty about! I have mom-daughter only visits all the time, and as much as my husband loves and appreciates my family, I know he is also just as content having “me time” at home with his manly movies and video games while I do family stuff. Have a wonderful time and don’t feel bad!
Post # 27
Thank you all for your lovely support and straight-to-the-point answers. You are right, I am not going to feel guilty anymore. I guess I tend to overreact sometimes, and though I am working on dealing with my emotions I have realized that I have an almost non-existen support group (besides husband and family). So it is really nice to hear you all enouraging me to feel good about my decision 🙂 Thank you all! I am overwhelm with the way you care.