(Closed) Traveling to see parents without husband: Would you feel guilty? [POLL}

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
  • poll: Would you feel guilty for leaving your husband for a whole week in order to visit your family?
    Yes. : (9 votes)
    7 %
    No. : (114 votes)
    92 %
    Other (please comment) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    2110 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I don’t see an issue with this at all. It’s not as though you don’t want him to go/he doesn’t want you to go – circumstances just don’t permit it.

    Go, see your family and get your Darling Husband a small “I missed you” present. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    532 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    I thino your being silly. Married couples can do stuff independentley of one another and should do. He’s happy for you to go and you get your parents/sisters to yourself for a whole week. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

     

    newlywednewbie:  logically speaking you’re nuts for getting this way but I FEEL THE SAME WAY.  my Fiance and I both encourage each other to do this yet we each can’t being ourselves to travel to see family without the other.  It’s ridiculous but it just feels wrong in my relationship and I think I’ll feel a magnified version of this after we get married.  Ugh! I’m sorry I’m not much help but I want you to know that you’re not alone and maybe there’s nothing wrong with us

    Post # 19
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee

    I do this all the time.

    Don’t feel guilty over something that was his decision. And remember it’s a decision he is happy with.

    Post # 20
    Member
    484 posts
    Helper bee

    The last time I visited my family I purposefully left a week earlier than my Darling Husband so I could have some one-on-one time with my family members. It was great- I stayed up all night chatting with my mother over girlie things and I got to spend an entire day alone with my dad and talk with just us two. I loved it and got to call Darling Husband and tell him all about it every day. I’ve noticed when a lot of people get married they only spend time together with their families as a couple and I didn’t want that for us. My husband still needs to be able to visit and spend time with his family without me there sometimes as I should do with mine. I want our families to know that although we are a unit now we are still separate people and will continue to nourish our one-on-one relationships with each family member. So no, I have no problem with it. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    4943 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Not a big deal. My husband and I travel separately ALL of the time.

    Post # 22
    Member
    7371 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I see no reason whatsoever to feel torn over this. Marriage doesn’t mean you are no longer indivduals. Life isn’t a neat little box. Over a lifetime I certainly expect that schedules sometimes conflict, or there are financial reasons to do things sepertaley. No big deal. I also enjoy my identity outside of the one I also share with my partner. It’s healthy IMO, that people should balance the two.

    Post # 23
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee

    I don’t think you have anything to feel guilty about, and if he’s fine with it, even better. I travel without my fiancé all the time. If I want to go back to our hometown to visit for a long weekend and he can’t make it, and I can afford to go, I wouldn’t think twice about it. I don’t think he would either.

    Post # 24
    Member
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would feel guilty about taking a week long trip to some spot that we have always wanted to visit together or going on a once in a life time trip with some girlfriends but not visiting my parents

    I mean yes its great to see family and all but I don’t count that as a vacation!

    haha I actually just was telling my Darling Husband this yesterday when I was complaining that we don’t have anything fun planned and he was like we are going to vegas on friday but to me it doesn’t count cause its to see his sister and her newborn (which is awesome don’t get me wrong and I can’t wait to see them but its not a “vacation” in my mind)

    Post # 25
    Member
    368 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    You should not feel guilty about this. Enjoy the time with your family! Life happens, and there very well may be a time in the future when he gets to go when you can’t. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1320 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    newlywednewbie:  Definitely nothing to feel guilty about! I have mom-daughter only visits all the time, and as much as my husband loves and appreciates my family, I know he is also just as content having “me time” at home with his manly movies and video games while I do family stuff. Have a wonderful time and don’t feel bad!

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