(Closed) Trend: Electronic Wedding Invitations?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

e-vites might be okay for showers and parties, but they’re not okay for weddings. it’s showing your guests that you’re cheap and lazy.

Post # 4
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I believe that e-invites and e-thank you’s are not appropriate for weddings.  Weddings are once in a lifetime events and they should be special.  For me, one way to make a wedding stand out from a birthday party is to send actual invitations in the mail.

Post # 5
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think e-invites are appropriate for weddings. I don’t know if they’re trendy but trendy does not automatically mean good.

Post # 6
4693 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

It’s not for me, but I don’t think it’s right to judge someone else’s choice about what’s best for them.  My mom married my step dad a few months ago, and she used evites.  She is neither cheap nor lazy, it just worked for the event they were planning.  It was a small wedding with only very close friends and family, and they planned the wedding in about 3 weeks.

Post # 7
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

My issue with electronic invitations is that you can never be completely sure that the people you have invited have actually received the invite (unless you put a read receipt on every email…which would be time consuming to keep up with).  I know that the postal service can also be…equally lame, but lost emails or emails that get sent to junk files and forgotten are far more common, IMO.  I am also sometimes forgetful, so I like the physical invitation because it reminds me of the wedding and usually contains information like how to get to the reception, etc.  Helpful, especially when my Darling Husband is completely useless with stuff like this.

I also agree that the style and wording of the invite indicates the level of formality of the event.  If I got an evite for a wedding, I would assume (and we know what happens then) that the wedding was not formal, regardless of the wording, script, etc.   I would think that people would also be less likely to RSVP because an evite suggests a level of informality that would lend itself towards that.  With all the problems we have these days getting people to actually RSVP, I just wouldn’t risk it.

EDIT: Sorry- I just realised I didn’t really answer your question:  I don’t think that it’s a trend.  It’s just something that some people do.

Post # 8
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m with the rest of y’all on this: not my thing. I just think the invites should match the event – if you’re going formal (or even semi) then you should have actual invites.

The only exceptions I can see would be if couples are specifically trying to have a “green” wedding and cut down on paper, stamps, etc. and I can understand doing electronic RSVP’s (that is what we are doing) since it seems unnecessary to pay for all that extra postage to send a card back when they can just RSVP through our website.

Also, I’m designing our own, so I want a physical product to show for it, and I want something we can frame later (I love seeing framed invitations from a couple’s wedding when I visit their home).

Post # 9
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

My Future Mother-In-Law thought we should send out e-save the dates. 

Umm not so much. 

Post # 11
10 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t know yet what type of invitations I am going to send out for my wedding, but an electronic invitation has crossed my mind.  But it wouldn’t be an Evite, it would be a link to an invitation website (that can only be accessed with a password) with an electronic RSVP list attached.  But my Fiance and I are super casual and are planning a casual beach wedding.

I think it all comes down to what type of couple you are and what the tone of the wedding will be.

Post # 12
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

There are sites like paperless post and greenvelopes that give a more formal feel to email invitations than evites (you also have to pay for them).  I didn’t do it, but I wouldn’t be opposed.  Getting mail is so nice, and its getting rarer.

I think its part of the process of becoming digital though- so not exactly a trend, but more of a transformation (just the tip of it now)

Post # 13
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We are thinking of going this route for many reasons-cost , casual (us), plus Fiance is a “techie” (loves his macs etc)  and it’s expected lol. But, I don’t want an invitation separate then a wedding website. I also want to have other details among it. I thought we could do a photo montag for the invite and have our kids (his one, my one, our one lol) hold up signs with some of the details! Then a recap of it at the end. I thought it would be sweet and represents us (family, love, blended)…we are casual informal people. Wedding outside and reception inside-not overly done up. My issue is who to host this (ie/what website???)

Post # 14
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I personally would not go this way.  I think evites aren’t personal enough.  Plus who doesn’t love getting something in the mail 🙂 

I was however considering using an RSVP website, which my mother nixed right off the bat (low tech parents).  I think that this is appropriate. 

Post # 15
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I am not cheap nor lazy and I’m eviting. My reason is I’m going as green as possible. This includes saving as much paper as possible. The only thing that will be mailed is a thank you, and it will be a thank you postcard instead of a card plus envelope.

Note: any significantly older relatives will be getting a mailed invitation however those will be marked with a phrase please recycle or something like that. And most certainly no reply cards. RSVP through wedding website, if that’s too high tech no worries, call us up to confirm.

Post # 16
1696 posts
Bumble bee

I am certain that they are a new trend, and in a decade or less they will be as unexceptional as coloured-paper invitations, commercially-printed response cards, or novel wordings and hosting arrangements. I don’t plan to use them for formal events any more than I would those other innovations — but I don’t see any reason to cast aspersions on the people who do choose to use such things.

There are many ways that a wedding stands out from a birthday party. People choose to vary those distinctions. Cute coloured-paper invitations; bringing presents to the actual event instead of sending them ahead of time; absence of solemn legal and/or religious ceremonial —  are just some of the birthday-party distiinctions that people have already decided to adopt into their wedding style,  but as far as I can tell no-one is having any trouble telling the difference between the one and the other.

Nice as it is to get mail, paper correspondence really is not nowadays part of most young women’s daily life — obviously, since if it were, getting a paper invitation would be less of a distinctive event. Weddings aren’t supposed to be a make-believe step out of your real life. They are one of the most real things you can do. If you do all your social correspondence by email all the rest of the time, why be artificially formal about something so vital as marriage? And please, don’t use the patronizing “elderly relatives” argument unless your relatives are well over eighty! My brother, who is ten years older than I, is supplementing his retirement income by virus-scanning and rebuilding operating systems for neighbours from a hundred miles around. We can cope.


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