Post # 1
Having a major pity party for myself.
I have gained quite a bit of weight over the last few years. I’m now at a street size 14 and shopping for wedding gowns at my new size has been a nightmare. Ive been shopping for about 2 months now, and with my wedding approaching this Fall, I’m starting to panic.
I keep checking out this board to give myself inspiration, for all the full figured women that look SOOO stunning in their gowns. But I am struggling 🙁 I feel uncomfortable, embarassed, and just gross. The gown that everyone loved (my family and bridesmaids), was actually my least favorite. It was very traditional, and just not what I pictured myself in.
I just feel discouraged and annoyed. I always thought this would be the fun part of wedding planning, and so far its been the absolute worse. I fear that my hatred for my body will prevent me from ever finding a dress.
Post # 3
That is a really rough one. I’m in a similar space – I’ve never really liked my body, but coming off of 18 months of being bedridden means I truly hate my current shape. It’s hard to enjoy shopping for clothing when you hate looking in a mirror to begin with.
What has been helping me is huge amounts of moral support from my guy and developing what I want in my dress and looking for that specifically. (Well, and really body positive yoga practices.) I don’t know if you are adamant that your fiance not see your dress, but taking mine with me shopping has been really helpful. Where I get stuck on this or that detail or how a waistline looks, he is really positive and lovely and supportive. Trying to see myself through his eyes can help me not be so critical. (And, if it comes down to it, at least one of us thinks I’m beautiful.)
What are you looking for in a dress? What kinds of shapes can you really rock? The pictures here show how beautiful full figured women can be, is there anyone around you that can help you do a really honest look at what you look gorgeous in right now? IF you don’t want the traditional, what are you looking for? (Me personally, I was looking for anything but white, but I’m a contrarian to begin with.) Developing a goal, even making a few sketches can be really helpful.
If you have the budget to get something custom made, go for it. I wish I did, there’s an eco consious design studio in PA that would have my business in a heartbeat. They include not only designing you your perfect dress and making it out ofreclaimed or eco friendly fabrics, but remaking it into a cocktail dress or christening gown for a child after your wedding.
Be very, very kind to yourself. Wedding planning is hard and dress finding can be really stressful with all of the pressure on finding THE dress. Do what you can to love your body now (I know it is hard. Mine is weak and fat and painful.) exersise as an expression of taking good care of yourself. You may not be the same size and shape you were a few years ago, but you deserve to feel beautiful now. (I can guarentee that you ARE beautiful now, but you also deserve to feel beautiful.)
Post # 4
have you posted any pics of you in the dresses? If not, please do. We’ll tell you how great you look!
Post # 5
@TheLadyK: Thanks for the response. Ive actually been very lucky-my mom and some close girl friends have been amazing. They have gone to bridal stores with me about 5 or 6 times now, and suffered through hours of me crying as I look in the mirror. I’m being the hardest on myself, and I dont know how to stop. I have been exercising and eating healthy, ,and I have lost about 11lbs so far. But when I look in the mirror, I am still sad.
@GroovyHippieChick: I do have pics, but I am afraid of being “found out” in real life haha. If I can figure out how to blur my face out then I will post. Thanks 🙂
Post # 6
I bet you look great in them! I’m a 14-16 in street size and had to get a 20 in my wedding dress. I’m very hard on myself because I’m bigger but I felt so pretty in my wedding dress. I am sure there is a dress out there that will make you feel the same way! 🙂
Post # 8
@Bostongrl25: open the pic in Paint, then use the little eraser or spray paint can to blur out your face. Save new pic and post!
(I love pics in case you can’t tell)
Post # 9
When I get really down about my body (I’m 5 foot 5 and weigh 220ish so there are times that all I see it fat when I look at myself in the mirror) is that I ask those that love and care about me to tell me what THEY see.
I agree post some pics and we will help give honest but productive feedback. People are more than a body so you KNOW that the people in your life will know other great things, but we are anonymous strangers and will be able to JUST see what you look like (although I’m sure you are a wonderful person)
Post # 10
@Bostongrl25: When you catch yourself being overly critical, work to correct the thought. Remind yourself how beautiful you actually are. Focus on the things that work well, and remember them when everything is going poorly. Write down a list of why you know you are beautiful. Listen to what your friends and family members say and try to see through their eyes. Unless you have some really screwy relationships, they probably aren’t lying to you.
(Again, these activities aren’t things you should do and then beat yourself up about them later. That one was the hardest for me, I’m a really intense person. And I can understand about correcting my thoughts, but I will recall times where I haven’t and then feel bad that I didn’t. That’s no good for you either.)
Can you crop your head out of the pictures? Most image viewers can do a simple crop.
Post # 11
Have you gone shopping by yourself? Honestly, it may really help you. When friends and family go, they will ALWAYS have their opinion of what looks good, what looks best on you. Do yourself a favor and go dress shopping by yourself. Without others input, you’ll really start to see what you like/looks good on you/you feel best in. And don’t be so critical of yourself, there are bees here of every shape and size that are loved just as they are – as I’m sure you are.
Post # 12
hi OP- I noticed that your wedding isn’t until 2017…. Perhaps you should step away from the dress searches for right now and focus on other aspects of the wedding. Come back to the search when you feel more comfortable.
(((Hugs))) Many of us (including me) know where you are coming from!
Post # 13
Ok, lets see if I did this right.
This first dress I liked, but again…hate my body.
This second dress I thought was the right shape for me (a-line, not fitted at the hips), but my group wasn’t impressed.
This last dress was the one everyone loved, but I wasn’t impressed.
Post # 14
@Keisha In Love: That date is wrong. My wedding is this year 🙂
Post # 15
Oh!!! ok- well that changes things…
Regarding the dresses, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE #1 AND #2…
I love #1 on you because it shows your curves and I love the intricate design on the dress.
#2 makes your waist look tiny – I LOVE the bellt with the flower
the only thing I would consider adding is a little bling bling!!!
Too be honest, #3 is my least favorite, but even that looks pretty.
Post # 16
I love the first and second! Especially the 2nd.. something about the sweetheart neckine and the one strap is really beautiful. Your body is beautiful, sounds like you just need to accept that you’re a different size now and start to love and appreciate your body.