(Closed) Trip to the Bahamas with new boyfriend– AND his family… gift ideas… help?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

I’m socially awkward and really have to work hard at not “over doing it” which is something you are in borderline danger of doing.  If they think you are trying too hard then that will immediately put them off.  So a couple of thoughts:

 

1) Keep in mind that they didn’t invite you on their family vacation, HE invited you on a vacation with HIM and they happen to be in the same spot.  It’s not like you jumped into the family van on the way to Disneyland.

 

2) You don’t need to bring anything but yourself.  I know the pressure of meeting the family, we all do.  I had to do Christmas with my SO’s family only a month after we started dating.  I was expressly FORBIDDEN to bring presents for them.  You don’t know awkward until you’re sitting in the living room watching everyone open heart felt gifts and you’re just an outsider.  But they were all really happy that I came and was social and nice and had a good time.  That’s all they wanted as their “gift”.

 

3) If you do decide to give them a gift I would say that the candies from the hometown would be the only really acceptable option.  I say this because they’re from a part of you and can start some conversation.  It also doesn’t look like you went out specifically to find a way to impress them, but rather you were thoughtful and heartfelt and thought of them on your trip.  Two completely different messages, in my opinion.

 

4) He loves you, so they will love you.  Just relax and have fun and be yourself.  Once they see how happy you make him and how happy he makes you, they won’t be able to dislike you.  Just have a great time! 

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Bunny82:  agreed!

If you bring them something besides candy from your hometown it could come off as trying too  hard which is always a turn off for me (at least). I also think it’s a great point that he invited you to go on vacation with HIM, not his entire family. So I’m not even sure if it sounds like you’ll be interacting witht them much. 

Post # 6
Member
662 posts
Busy bee

Either way, you make him happy, and they will see that.

Try to plan an activity that you know you would love to do and invite them along to do it 🙂

Post # 7
Member
11284 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Caryatid:  seriously, just be yourself.  don’t pretend to be anyone but.

i don’t think it’s necessary to bring a big gift.  the candy sound nice.  i would just give them that and tell them how much you enjoy it and thought that they may like to try it too.

good luck.

Post # 9
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The candy is a great idea. go for it and have a blast! 🙂

Post # 10
Member
355 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Candy would be a great idea. Either that or offer to pick up the tab for lunch or drinks one day while Dad and SO are working.

Post # 11
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you could make his parents a little photo book after the trip. If you join Shutterfly, they offer free 8X8 hardcover books ALL the time. It’s small, very thoughtful, and it would be pictures of the whole vacation. I used to do this, and my now MIL LOVES them.

Post # 13
Member
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@HisWifey:  i think a photo book might be too much? Especially if she’s in some of the photos! It might come off as, “look what a family we all are!” and then if itdoesn’t work out they’ll have this awkward photo book with this girl in it that they hardly know that was given to them by said girl!

Post # 14
Member
646 posts
Busy bee

Save the gift for when you are invited into their home. No need to take a gift. You only need to take a gift if you are being entertained at someones home. Dont make yourself nuts wondering what to take and just go, be your charming self and have a great time!

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