Post # 1
I’m fairly new to these boards but I’m still hoping for good advice. Ok…boyfriend and I aren’t even engaged yet BUT I know it will happen very soon. I’ve kinda been brainstorming/pre planning because we want to get married in late August/September or possibly early October And I know wedding planning takes time. Boyfriend doesn’t understand that you don’t get engaged and then go out the next weekend and get married 🙂 he doesn’t realize what all it takes. So here’s my issue (One of many to come, I’m sure!) I have ALWAYS dreamed of getting married on a beach in Turks and Caicos Islands. I am in love with that place. I’ve been there 3 times and I have 2 rescued dogs from there (google “potcakes turks and caicos if you are an animal lover) ANYWAY…it has always been my dream to have a beach wedding. The problem with that is the cost. My parents would have no problem giving me my dream wedding but his mom and dad (who are divorced, mom is remarried, dad has gf) probably can’t afford to go. He also has 2 sisters that I know would want to see him get married. One could afford it, the other is a single mom with two younger kids…1st grade and 3rd grade, I think. So I’m not sure how easy it would be for her to travel. I’m the only child so I don’t have to worry about siblings. If I did the destination wedding, it would be small and intimate…like just our parents and maybe his sisters. My grandparents wouldn’t be able to travel that far and neither would his as they are getting up there in age. I don’t know how I would feel if my grandparents didn’t see me get married. I would be the first grandchild and probably only grandchild they would be able to see get married. We would have the wedding recorded and played back on a big screen at a reception that we would have back home. So taking those things into consideration, I started looking at barn wedding venues near where we live but I’m afraid that my wedding day will come and I’ll be disappointed that im not getting married on a beach on the island that has my heart. My first choice barn venue is booked thru 2013 already so that’s out the door. Apparently everyone wants a barn wedding! I live in a smaller town about 45 min away from a major city so it kind of surprised me that it was already booked. I’ve emailed my next two choices and haven’t heard back yet. I don’t want to get married in a church or a banquet hall. A barn wedding is more of our personality. I’m just afraid that I’m too late on looking at venues for our time frame and wouldnt be able to find a barn venue. I dont know what to do then. boyfriend wants to get engaged and then married within a year, which is fine with me. i just need advice! I don’t want to regret not having my dream wedding but I want my grandparents to see me get married BUT I feel like I’m too late on venue. If we did the destination wedding, do his parents pay for themselves to get there or is that my parents responsablilty? I just don’t think it’s possible for his parents be able to afford it. Help!!! 🙁
Post # 3
If you have your heart set on a beach wedding…why don’t you choose a more affordable destination? Look at other tropical locations (or even U.S. locations like Florida or California, etc) in order to make it happen! I had my heart set on a barn wedding too…and once I started visiting venues – I very quickly realized that it wasn’t what we were looking for. I knew I had found the place when I visited it in person. Don’t write of potential locations without a quick visit to see if it might be worth it!
In terms of the destination wedding – travel is often gifted to some wedding guests that might not otherwise be able to afford it, but your parents are not required to pay for anyone’s travel. From what you wrote above though…it sounds like the people in your life are more important than the location. Perhaps you find the right location and go to Turks & Caicos for the honeymoon (or on your 1-year anniversary to renew your vows)! Lastly…don’t rush the process. If you have to wait a little over a year to find a venue that suits you guys…it won’t be the end of the world. Waiting does suck…but you’ve waited this long to get engaged…don’t rush the fun part. 🙂
Post # 4
@MsMindle: thank you for the advice. I already decided on the honeymoon being in T&C. i also considered any vowel renewal to be done there too. It’s a very special place to me And it’s just really hard when that’s always been my dream. Any travel outside of our state will be hard for grandparents but you are so right…thsee people mean more to me than my destination dream wedding. And I was really disappointed that my first choice barn was already booked. Ah…it was so convientient being in our hometown!
Post # 5
I know all about the agony associated with finding the right venue. We’ve been engaged since July 2011, and only just last week found our venue… over a year of looking around. I was so beyond frustrated, bitter and done with wedding planning because of it. Hang in there, and consider lots of different options.
Also consider the possibility of not being able to have the wedding on the exact date you want it (we originally wanted October 2012, but when that didn’t come together we ended up with 2013 instead… and that’s OKAY!)
I also encourage you to sit tight on wedding planning until you actually get engaged. I TOTALLY understand the excitement and tingling desire to pre-plan because you think that if you don’t start planning a wedding X months in advance, it won’t come together. But that is completely untrue.
And this is just me so feel free to take with a grain of salt… but before we were engaged, I had pre-planned our wedding down to the last detail. And it was going to be in a barn too! Then after we got engaged… our priorities changed and it became less about the “vision” of the wedding. Also, having a limited budget since we are paying for things ourselves put things into perspective as well (it’s easy to plan the dream wedding when you’re not writing checks for it yet). Long story short, over the term of our so far 16-month engagement, everything I thought I wanted before changed… and now we’re planning a tiny little wedding at a bed and breakfast. And it didn’t matter what I planned before our engagement, because here we are now.
So just slow down… and I hate hearing this advice myself, but I’m giving it to you: Everything WILL work out the way it’s supposed to. Enjoy your relationship.