Post # 1
Not that it matters to me. But I am continually surprised at my relatives. My Mom’s cousin’s son is getting married. My Mom receives a shower invite, knowing that she is not receiving a wedding invite. And they have the nerve to put “monetary gifts preferred”. I am astounding that I am related to these people.
And this happens all the time, maybe I’m just a prude. This is the 3rd shower this year that she has been invited to without being invited to the wedding.
I just think its in poor taste to invite someone that you aren’t invited to the wedding (unless its the gang from work having a shower for one of the your work mates).
I think its in poorer taste to ask for money. Not that I ever approve of asking for money, but if you absolutely had to, the wedding would be less offensive. Showers are not the place to panhandle.
Post # 3
Gotta love the family! nobody else will! LOL
Post # 4
Wow, that would irritate me as well. I thought you weren’t supposed to invite people to the shower if they weren’t invited to the wedding… That just sounds gift grabby. Honestly, in that situation, the thought of “I’m good enought to invite to a gift giving party, but not to the wedding?” would cross my mind.
I had to grin at your last comment though, panhandling at a shower… maybe they’ll have a collection jar.
Post # 5
It IS in poor taste. I, like you find that people cease to amaze me when it comes to common tact. Just be glad it’s them and not you. Honestly, some people never get it and can’t be taught it =) If theyre not embarrassed for themselves then oh well, don’t be embarrassed for them!
Post # 6
Wow. That is in TERRIBLE taste…and then to put monetary gifts preferred is just blah rude! Especially since your mom isn’t invited to the wedding. I would decline and give them a congrats card, no money, no gift card, no NOTHING!
Post # 7
Ugh, if that was me, after having it happen multiple times, I would be SOOO tempted to write something snotty back like “Your shower gift will arrive at your house after the wedding invitation arrives at mine…”
I wouldn’t actually go through with it but that is just soooo one of the things that would tick me off.
Post # 8
I did not realize people actually did this! That is so incredibly tacky. I’m pretty stunned. Why not just send a letter asking for money…why bother even having a shower at all??
Post # 9
Oh my goodness, this is crazy! I hope she doesn’t go and bring these people presents!
Post # 10
I have to say I don’t think it’s rude to ask for money instead of stuff (I already have a lot of stuff and I’m kind of worried how I’m going to fill out a registry). However, I do find it in poor taste to invite someone to a shower but not the wedding and/or reception.
Post # 11
@Hippos: oh, that’s good. We would never point out to them how tacky it is. I would never say anything, but I thought I would vent here. I like the idea of sending them a card.
Post # 12
@JenGirl: I definitely think its not polite to ask for money from a shower. Clearly that is something we can all use. But since there is no gracious way of saying it, I think it is best to not say anything.
I’m getting married on the opposite side of the country. I know my family there is going to throw me a shower. I would never dream of saying anything about money. I am prepared that I will have to ship my gifts back to Vancouver and likely to cost me more than the gifts are worth. However, I am extremely grateful that these people want to ‘shower’ me with attention and share my special time with me.
Post # 13
I don’t think asking for money is any better or worse than having registry information. Though, inviting someone who isn’t on the guest list is pretty bad.
Post # 15
Woh! That’s taking the pan.
Post # 16
I’m feeling mixed reviews here. Maybe I am a prude. I’ve just added a poll. Maybe I am wrong.