- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Okay, so I am having a bit of difficulty here and I was hoping that someone might be able to give me some advice, just to get another person’s perspective. I apologize in advance because this is gonna be pretty long…
The situation I’m facing is that my Fiance and I are both young, 20 to be exact, and have been together for over 4 years now. Before we started dating, he had been flirting with me pretty heavily, including giving me a special Christmas present, but then after I underwent a procedure that left me looking less-than-gorgeous for a while, he barely spoke to me. But he came back not long after and after a while we ended up dating. I started out still suspicious of him, but I had liked him for so long and he seemed so sincere that I was happy to be together. However, my lingering suspicions and some other personal problems caused a bit of disharmony between us, so that I would be angry with him often, sometimes for no reasonable reason. So when, after we had been dating for almost 2 years, I went on vacation for 2 weeks, he was in an understandly questioning state about our relationship. But I still don’t feel that that excuses the fact that he was sending suggestive letters to a girl he met while I was gone after knowing her for all of 4 days. I found out about this as soon as I returned and we ended the relationship. But a mere 2 months later, after his apologies, we were back together. We’ve dated ever since, and I love him, so we decided to get married this summer. But I have never forgotten how he betrayed and lied to me about that time and there have been many times since when I have caught him lying about much less serious things. He’s really not very good at it.
Today, though, was the last straw when I caught him masturbating while on my computer (which I have asked him not to do because we are waiting to have sex till our wedding night, which will be the first time for both of us, and I’d just prefer that he he literally “wait” from now until then. He has agreed to do this with absolutely no problem). He apologized for doing so and claims he wasn’t looking at porn (something I’d asked him never to do on my computer because I don’t want any viruses (he already gave me one!) and he agreed to this as well). This is not the first time I’ve discovered him doing this and he has apologized and promised not to before. Today I heard the same thing again.
My problem here is that I’m not sure if I can ever trust him enough to be married. Before something like this commes up, I’m always completely blissful and we have shared a lot of wonderful times together. He is always extremely sweet to me, helping me whenever I need it, always doing whatever I want, telling me I’m beautiful, etc. In fact, while I was writing this, he called to ask if I wanted him to bring me ice cream, said he was sorry again, and ended the call with “I love you” like he always does. How can I give up someone who is so amazingly good to me, that I’ve shared so much with?
So please, bees, tell me what you would do in this situation. If you would stay with him, how would you deal with the lack of trust? I’d really appreciate any help you can offer.