- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2009
I am at a loss, bees. I have so many emotions running through me right now, I don’t know what to do. Darling Husband has exhausted all efforts to cheer me up, and I just simply cannot stop crying.
My sister might be pregnant.
Now, that being said, it sounds as if I’m being ridiculous for no reason. “Be happy for her, your time will come, etc etc.”
But she’s 14. And a freshman. In HIGH SCHOOL. She’s been with her boyfriend for just shy of 2 months.
Backstory: Darling Husband and I had been TTC (we were, but are currently not TTC) for 14 months. We got pregnant, were thrilled, and then MC’ed.
It is not unusual for my younger sister to be attention seeking, as she has made many of the same ‘mistakes’ I did while I was a teen. I cut, suffered with anorexia, and was sexually abused. She was not abused, but also cut and currently does not eat, and I’m wondering if it’s mimicking me for whatever reason.
Now this. I can handle anything else, be there for her through anything else, but to possibly be pregnant at 14 after knowing about my struggle and miscarriage is almost a slap in the face.
I wouldn’t be angry about this, had she used COMMON SENSE about this. She let her little boyfriend talk her into “all natural” sex because it “feels better” that way. Meaning: no condom, and she’s not on BC. I have talked to her about this, many many many times: ALWAYS make the guy wear a condom, do NOT let him convince you otherwise. I told her I would get her BC, but not once did she ask me.
This just happened 9 days ago, but she has not started this month yet (she usually starts the beginning of the month). Our cycles are pretty synced, and I am currently on AF.
I’m just so, so….FURIOUS. She knows to have the guy use a condom, and knows that I would provide BC if my mother refuses, yet she basically IGNORES both and decides to just go “all natural” for her first time! That’s the most ignorant thing I have ever heard!!!
She’s been with this guy for 2 months. She’s 14. She’s a freshman, and incredibly immature.
Bees, if she’s pregnant, I’m going to lose my mind. I will not know how to be there for her; I honestly don’t know if I can.
My mother is in denial, (she found the pregnancy tests my sister has been hiding and waiting to take), and I am on the verge of screaming.
Darling Husband and I wanted/want a baby. We have been having complications with getting/staying pregnant, and if my little sister ends up pregnant her first time because she was an idiot, I don’t know how I’m going to react.
I don’t know what to do. I can’t be happy. There is no HAPPY in this. This will screw up her life, her new bf’s life, my parents’ lives, and honestly DH’s life and my own, because my parents and us will end up being the ones caring for this child while my sister and her bf are in high school.
She is not ready to be a mother; she is immature and unprepared; her bf does not have a job, means of supporting them, and honestly I really doubt he would even stick around.
I’m just so angry and hurt, bewildered, and pissed off. She almost acts as if she wants to be pregnant, which would explain the lack of asking me to get them condoms/BC/anything at all. She told me they even had a condom but he didn’t want to use it so she didn’t make him….
I don’t know what to do, bees. I’m devastated. I cannot be there for her when she clearly brought this on herself, and seems comfortable with it….especially since she knows about my own MC and the pain I’ve been in emotionally. It’s too soon for me to be recovered, or even alright with my child sister having a baby when I’m having a hard time with conceiving myself.
🙁 I don’t know what I expect to hear from this, but has anyone else been in a situation similar to this? Can anyone give me advice? How can I support someone when I am so broken myself- and when she clearly has no regard for anyone else’s feelings but her own??? :/