Post # 1
So, I’m 33, and all I’m hearing now is studies that talk about how your fertility drops drammatically at 35. Married friends of mine that are trying to concieve are all having problems and it makes me nervous. All of them thought they were fine and of course didn’t realize they had any issues until they started trying.
I talked to my Fiance last night and he’s eager to get started. He’s 38 himself and has been wanting kids for quite some time. We’ve been engaged a year and our wedding is in another 5 months. I decided that as long as I can fit into my wedding dress then I’m okay, so we’re probably going to get started in a couple months.
I think the only thing keeping me from it was some societal stigma, but truthfully, I’ve found who I want to be with and we’d be married before the baby came anyway (not that I care so much about that). I’m excited at the thought and can’t wait for us to get started!
Anyone else considering this?
Have a great day!
Post # 3
Honestly, I wouldnt take that risk before your wedding. You don’t know how your body will react to being pregnant and what happens if you are one of those women that are sick all the time? Their is a chance you could be sick on your wedding day.I dunno, something to think about, I have 2 kids and though I didnt suffer from morning sickness with either of my kids, I was tired all the time….
Post # 4
You do have to take into consideration the idea of morning sickness (or as in my case, all day every day sickness throughout the entire first trimester). Plus fatigue is pretty common early in pregnancy so you’ll have to be super organized and dedicated to get all your wedding stuff taken care of. However, I wouldn’t be worried about any social stigma, though. This is your family. You guys do what’s best for you.
If I were in your place, and getting pregnant was at the top of my priority list this close to the wedding, I would probably not go full force into trying just yet. I would, however, pull the goalie out so that if it happens, it happens. I wouldn’t start calculating ovulation or anything like that until after the wedding because stress for either of you can MAJORLY effect conception. Both weddings and trying to conceive can be pretty stressful so why stack the cards against yourselves? My vote is to just have some unprotected fun for the next 5 months and let nature take its course. If, by the time the wedding rolls around, you aren’t pregnant then enjoy that honeymoon to the fullest and then get down to business.
Post # 5
@serenitymd: I agree with Dandelion D! I wouldn’t “try try” but don’t try to not concieve… which is pretty much what you said haha. Also, if you are on BC I was told that your face my break out when coming off… which may not be a concern but I was told by someone when I was thinking of coming off before the wedding for pictures.
I do know how you feel though… I was told it may be very hard for me to concieve based on my own body :/ So of course I want to start what you are doing now as well. I say go for it! And congrats on the big day coming up!
Post # 6
Well this may be unpopular but I say go for it. If you start trying soon, you will most likely be over the fatigue and morning sickness. The dress on the other hand may be questionable depending on how far along you are. I think your pictures would turn out sooo cute if you were pregnant. But that’s just me.
I already had our son when we got married, but I love the fact he is in our wedding photos, and it made the day extra special.
Post # 7
@serenitymd: Fiance & I are struggling with this as well…. We KEPT going back and forth…. Our plan was for me to get off the pill in March and then “start” TTC in May…. I am 31 (turning 32 in Feb) and he is 35…..so that was our plan and we were sticking to that, lol…… THEN, I met with my doctor and we discussed this and I mentioned to her that I wanted to get off the pill BUT make sure that I was not gonna be on my cycle for our wedding or two week honeymoon…… she said there was no way to guarantee that I would not be on my period…..she said getting off the pill (where your cycle is regulated) will not necessarily produce the same results…you can have ‘break-thru’ bleeding right away, you can have it two months after being off, you just never know….. but she said something to me that made me think…. she said “If we are going to have trouble conceiving, you’re gonna have trouble….a month or two is not going to make that big of a difference”…. plus you want to enjoy your wedding and honeymoon and you just don’t know how your body will react to the morning sickness, etc….. She was not trying to “not” convince me at all…..she was just giving me information to think about it….. so I will continue to take my prenatal vitamins and we will stop the pill in the middle of our last week of the honeymoon…..soooo July 21 we will officially begin!!!
Good luck with whatever you decide…..
Post # 8
We did, and I am so glad we did because our TTC journey ended up being a really tough one.
Post # 9
I totally understand where you are coming from and I am in the same boat – sames ages and everything! We have decided to wait until after our wedding to try (so April 22 we are good to go!) Part of it is religious reasons – but also I would rather not be pregnant on my wedding day or leading up to it – planning a wedding is stressful enough without stressing about trying to get pregnant or manage being pregnant, plus I agree with @Trulyblessed – if you are going to have issues (I hope you won’t!), a few months won’t make a difference. For us, we want to enjoy planning and having our wedding and then move on to the next phase. Best of luck with wahtever you decide to do!
Post # 10
Darling Husband and I started NTNT a month before the wedding because we figured it wouldn’t be super scandalous then, and I would in all likelihood barely be pregnant by the time the wedding happened if it worked out. Turns out I didn’t get pregnant (waiting to see how this month goes!) and I was glad to just have a month of sorta kinda trying under my belt.
We’ve now been married four days and all the women at my work are forever asking me why I’m not preggo yet- I’ve been married four whole days already and I’m in my 20’s, I need to get on that 😛 . Soooo, me thinks the stigma really only exists in religious groups these days In My Humble Opinion.
Do what makes YOU happiest!
Post # 11
@serenitymd: It’s a personal decision but one thing to think about is that being pregnant can make you feel very bloated, nauseus, exhausted and hormonal. We waited till after we got married and I’m glad because I was able to concentrate 100% on the wedding. It may just be a me thing personally, but I’m 11 weeks pregnant, my clothes don’t fit and sometimes I don’t feel that pretty due to the bloat, I’m not sure I would have wanted to combine those feelings while trying to look beautiful for a wedding. But again, personal decision, and you need to do what you think is best for you.
Post # 12
I dont think its a good idea to TTC before the wedding. The first few months of being pregnant can be soooo tiring and your body just feels out of control, you really dont want to go through that during your wedding or the months immediately before the wedding
Post # 13
We’ve considered this (I just turned 30 and I’d like to have 3 kids). Our wedding is in June, and I thought about being 1-2 months pregnant. HOWEVER, I suspect I’ll have lots of morning sickness and I really want to enjoy my day (if we were to get pregnant before the wedding, we wouldn’t tell anyone). I don’t want to be making excuses for why I’m not drinking at my bachelorette/wedding etc and I’d love to just enjoy my honeymoon without barfing every day. I also don’t want to see Aunt Flow on our honeymoon, so I’ll be staying on the pill until then and going off it and trying in July.
A lot of people say that it’s best to wait so the pill is “out of your system” but there’s absolutely no medical evidence to suggest that it should be a concern AT ALL. So yeah! I’ve considered it, but we’ve decided not to. Good luck!
Post # 14
Thanks all — really appreciate your being honest with me!
I’ve definitely thought about the potential sickness and the not drinking thing, but I’m willing to take the chance. And on the drinking — most brides I talk to say they had a glass of champagne max at their wedding, which will prob be me… I don’t want to chance being a “sloppy bride” or not being lucid enough to remember this amazing day. 🙂
More than that — I just don’t want to wait until it’s too late… and unfortunately, we never really know when that time is. It’s different for every woman. While it’s not likely that a few months will make a difference, it’s certainly possible. If Fiance and I start 2-3 months before, and I happen to get pregnant (which is also not that likely) I don’t imagine I’ll be showing, so my dress will still fit.
It’s a risk either way — I’d rather err on the side of trying. As someone said, you have to do what feels right for you!