(Closed) Trying hard to be nice, yet they’re still mad?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

NOT AT ALL!  I’m SO sorry that soudns SUPER frustrating.  I think you should stand your ground and have your Fiance support you/back you up so that they can’t just blame you or just be mad AT YOU.  You told them upfront, its not ok for them to change something major like that without consulting you.  Its seems she’s trying to put you in a difficult spot, so you’ll just succumb to what she wants.  

Post # 4
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

If you had given plenty of notice and explained this to them then I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong. They seem to think they can just “make” you do this but if it isn’t what you want then you need to keep standing your ground.

Post # 5
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Boo, this makes me a sad smurf!  I think you are being more than accomodating with providing a babysitter, such a thoughtful idea.  I think you have every right to be more than annoyed, and I am so proud of you for standing your ground and telling her no!

Post # 6
Member
46600 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your Mother-In-Law is being inappropriate not you. She had absolutely no right to invite the children to be flower girls in your wedding, much less order dresses for them.

I hope you have your FI’s support in telling his Mom that this is just not on.

This is one of those things that seems like a big deal at the time, but your in-laws will relax about over time.

 

Post # 7
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Good for you for standing your ground! You and your Fiance get to pick your wedding party, no one else. They’re trying to steamroll you – they may be pissed for a while and that sucks but you are setting a really good precedent that you won’t be bullied when making your own decisions.

Post # 8
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, talk about ridiculous. It’s your wedding therefore you get to dictate who is involved and who is present. The nerve of your Future Mother-In-Law to TELL you that they’re flower girls. I would have totally freaked out on her. Stand your ground and if you have to, hire bouncers to escort the little ones out, lol (jk, sorta…).

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Your Fiance should deal with this. If his mom is acting crazy, he should make it go away

Post # 10
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

No your not.  Its your choice and you still are having a family friendly reception.  You’re gone out of your way by providing a babysitter.  And its not unusual to not have any flower girls.  Stand your ground cause it is your day:)

Post # 11
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

The whole no-kids thing aside, who thinks 4 flower girls is a good idea? That’s just begging for bratty behavior.

Sorry she’s doing this. Stick to your guns and have the ceremony you want.

Post # 12
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow, she sounds like an absolute peach. I agree with the posters above that you should get your Fiance involved to deal with her. That is completely overstepping the bounds on her part!

Post # 13
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think that you have been very nice. But, now you need to put your foot down and tell thwm that it is your day and that they should respect your wishes because, you planned and payed for it all. Hope this helps. Have an awesome wedding! Laughing

Post # 14
Member
7387 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Unbelievable. The utter gall. Its totally not you, its them. I don’t understand why parents with young kids pretend like they don’t get it? How selfish. Its about the BRIDE & GROOM. Jeez

Post # 15
Member
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

Stand your ground on this. You made them aware of your wishes and your Mother-In-Law still purchased dresses. You even hired a babysitter! And you’re allowing kids at the reception! Far more generous than I. I’ve been considering going as far as having my reception at a 21+ lounge so I can easily bow out of arguements like this one. We’ve also considered the idea of a babysitter to pacify some of my more vocal relatives.

There should be no arguement over not having kids at the ceremony. I hope you’re able to get it sorted out. Good luck!

Post # 16
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Don’t move an inch! You made it aware what is going on and they should abide by your wishes. If she spent so much money on the dresses OH FRIGGIN’ WELL, its her fault for spending that much money.

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