(Closed) Trying not to freak, my FI is missing…

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
2432 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

lol, the better question is — did the dog accept the apology?? 

Post # 48
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m pretty appauled that people are blaming OP for being “smothering”  I’m 100% sure he didn’t not answer his phone because he felt smothered.  (He was just being a drunken moron)  I’m sorry but when someone says they are going to be home in 30 minutes and they decide to stay out for over another hour more, a phone call or text to let them know is in order.  If I couldn’t reach my Fiance after an hour of him saying he’d be home, you better believe I’d send out the search teams – what if he was laying in a ditch somewhere?! It’d be better to find him 12 hours later when he’s dead then run the risk of “smothering” him?!  

Your Fiance should always have immediate access to his phone when he is out – ESPECIALLY when you are at home with HIS son – what if there is an emergency?!  

I’m a worrier too (doesn’t mean I smother my FI) OP and while I wouldn’t read him the riot act over it, he’d definitely know it was unacceptable to do that again!  I definitely drove a few times late at night to my (then bf) house because he was unreachable – he ended up being sleeping but hey it was better to know he was okay – he never saw it as smothering him – he always felt geniunely bad because I had been so worried that I’d burst into tears at the fact he was okay.

Post # 49
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

View original reply
@MrsWBS:  +1

My Fiance are both the same way.  We were just talking about it to make sure we both had that app just in case and totally agreed that if either of us had been in the OP’s situation we’d be panicing.  Then again, it would be totally out of character for either of us to stay gone that much later than we were supposed to be without letting the other know.  We are the type of people that would call and let the other know if we were going to be more than 5 mins. late though.  I understand that is a bit ott for some people, but it’s perfectl normal for others and there’s no reason to give the OP a hard time over being worried.  Lord knows I would have been.

OP, don’t listen to these snarky girls.  Both my Fiance and I would have been just as worried as you, if not more so, if we’d been in your shoes.  Again, I’m so happy he made it home safely! 🙂

Post # 50
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Yeah, I definitely don’t think the OP was “smothering” her Fiance.  Pretty sure she knows she’s not his mommy.  The fact of the matter is, he IS a grown man and a grown man has a responsibility to his fiance and HIS child to let them know he’s going to be late.  If he told her, “I’ll be home in twenty minutes.”  Then, he needs to either be home in twenty minutes, or he needs to call/text and let her know that there has been a change in plans.

When my DH isn’t home from work at a usual time, I call him to make sure he hasn’t gotten in a car accident or something.  I worry.  Which, is very normal.  I don’t ever think he’s out cheating or anything crazy.  OP said she, her Fiance, and his son usually go out to dinner every single Friday.  So, it was definitely out of character for him not to show up.  It’s not like he told her he’d be going for a guy’s night out, and not to wait up.  He said a couple of hours.

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