Trying not to reply to his message?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

BLOCK HIS NUMBER

Post # 3
Member
10041 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Delete the message. Block his number.

Post # 4
Member
9022 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Just in case you didn’t hear it the first two times

BLOCK HIS NUMBER

Post # 5
Member
4066 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
coffeebean4444 :  block his number like PPs said, and block him on all social media. You’re strong, do not cave! You deserve better than him, and I’m happy that you’re taking steps to better your life!

Post # 6
Member
1990 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

Block him on Facebook so he can’t messsge you. 

Post # 8
Member
10041 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

If you really feel you can’t, then yes have a friend do it.

Post # 9
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I second having a friend doing it. One of my best friends really struggled post break up, and could just never bring herself to block her ex. She had us take her phone and block him on social media and delete and block his number. Whatever is easiest for you to ensure you can’t contact him and he can’t contact you.

Post # 10
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

What everyone else said and your own suggestion of asking a friend to do it. And if you ever get any urge to unblock him come back to the thread and we’ll talk you out of it again! Stay strong!

Post # 11
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee

Hey Bee,

You’re doing wonderfully so far. And I’m glad to hear that you’ve been feeling happier. I’m sorry that this asshole had to go and invade your mental space.

I agree with everyone else. If you can’t do it yourself, ask a close friend to block him for you on all your accounts. Also delete his messages. Erase him from your life completely.

Goodluck. And remember, you’re doing so well so far!

Post # 12
Member
481 posts
Helper bee

I’d advocate for disabling ALL social media for a time as well. If he really wants to contact you, he can easily make new accounts that you’d have to block all over again. Block him on EVERYTHING, then doable and disconnect for a couple weeks. Take that time to recharge, reevaluate, and connect with true friends who will support you. 

Post # 13
Member
6810 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
coffeebean4444 :  block, block, block.  Then get off social media – it’s a time suck anyway, we’re all better off without it.  I see you’re doing a lot of activities, but I’d suggest finding something that gives you something physical in return.  Something where you can see your success.  Maybe a jewelry making class or cooking course?  There’s a certain satisfaction to be had in making something that others can enjoy and boost your self esteem by swooning over.  You need that boost.  Stay strong!

Post # 14
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Oh Bee, I understand those feelings. My ex fi was emotionally abusive, yet somehow when he’d reach out for me I ALWAYS wanted to talk back.

It took me a while to work out that he a) was only contacting to see if he still had that power over me, b) the reason I thought I wanted to respond  was because he’d conditioned me to think that way, c) I wasn’t the worthless one – he was. 

5 years later, I’m engaged to a lovely guy, and I thank my lucky stars that I managed to break the cycle he had set up. 

Block him on everything Bee, journal your feelings out until you get to a therapist, but please do not respond to the abuser. Huge hugs, and feel free to message me if you want. 

Post # 15
Member
1605 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
coffeebean4444 :   First of all, I think you are handling it wonderfully and all of this cannot be easy. You are making loads of positive steps for yourself, and that’s the key thing for you to do. 

I also suggest getting your friend to delete him from your phone and block him from anything else. The problem is that he won’t stop, he knows that this will bother you and you will react so it is horrible that he is continuing with this.  He is thinking about his own needs before yours, he isn’t considering how all of this is for you. 

Sadly the  heart and the head rarely agree with each other when it comes to problems with love. I think you still have feelings for him and that part hasn’t let go yet and wants to talk to him. Yet your head is telling you with logic, listen with your head. Every time you get an urge to reply think about all the nasty things he did to you. Usually puts those feelings into perspective. 

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