(Closed) Trying not to ruin it

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Oh I understand this SOOO well! I wasn’t horrible about bringing up engagment or marriage and didn’t bug him but when I knew he had a ring… oh lord that was crazy! I couldn’t STOP talking marriage and was constantly “cleaning” to see if I could find the ring!

Once I found it, it was even worse. I saw the box every day. I knew where it was and every part of me wanted to open it, but I didn’t want to ruin the suprise— so I got my sister to look. BEST DECISION EVER. She said it was beautiful, I didn’t have to look and my anxiety was lessened.

I found the ring when I gave up (FI opened his night table one day and it magically appeared in there after it wasn’t there earlier). Apparently the reason it wasn’t in the drawer earlier is because he was showing my parents when he asked for my hand. Maybe you need to give up looking and magic will happen!

Post # 5
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@claireos: It really is!

I know what you mean about safe keeping– my Fiance ordered my ring online and it was supposed to be a signed package. We came home and my several thousand dollar ring was sitting in a package on the front step to our house on a busy road. He almost had a heart attack and couldn’t tell me why!

 

The mood changes are crazy. I managed to get away with it by secretly reading weddingbee and then mentioning ideas of my “engaged co-workers”. *cough*. Oh well! By the time my ring came I had half my wedding planned out. 3 weeks in and I have centrepieces, reception card holders, dress appts, hair stylist booked, makeup booked, venue booked, caterer is being interviewed, photographer booked, DJ booked and DOC booked. Oh! And invites are being created and guest tree is done.

Sometimes secretly knowing it is there is an advantage! For us it means we can easily get married this summer since I had planned in advance.

 

By The Way…. GOOD LUCK! Maybe take that energy and put it into exercising for the best wedding bod ever? (Wish *I* had haha!)

Post # 6
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

Haha, this is exactly how I am, which is why I told the mister that he better keep thiings under the highest security clearance possible. He knows how I get once I figure out I’m getting something and I’m just as relentless. I’m the kid that actually learned how to unwrap gifts without tearing the paper. 

Hopefully you won’t have to wait too much longer.

Post # 7
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

um…here’s the deal:

I look at the ring, then reassure you that it is awesome. Because I cant wait to see it, either!!!!

Seriously though, don’t ask to see it/look at it/sneak like a kid at Christmas….because that moment he gives it to you, it will be totally worth it.Promise!

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee

@claireos: Omg I am in the same boat as you!! He bought the ring NYE and I was adamant that he not propose until I finish my Master’s degree because I thought planning a wedding would be too much of a distraction and I didn’t think I would be able to wait to plan it until afterwards once I had a ring on my finger! NOW that I know he has it, it’s literally all I could think about!! I am guessing the excited feeling will just sort of “go away”? AH!

Post # 11
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

@claireos: haha, I only learned how to do that because I got a spanking once because I actually unwrapped a gift and hid it before Christmas. Definitely learned my lesson! 

Post # 12
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I can only imagine! You guys have made tremendous progress! πŸ™‚

I guess the best thing to do is blab to the Bee and maybe some close friends about engagement, weddings, and marriage. Read some wedding mags, blogs, and stories about other people’s proposals/engagements to get it out of your system. Hopefully this will satisfy the need in the meantime. Waiting when you know he has the ring has to be pure torture. I’m so glad my SO can’t keep a secret. If he had it, he wouldn’t be able to wait long enough to really plan an elaborate surprise anyway. Haha!

But it almost seems unnatural not to mention it to him at all though. It’s like the main thing at the forefront of both of your minds I’m guessing. Like the elephant in the room. Maybe a few innocent remarks and questions here and there won’t hurt. As long as there’s no prying and pressure. If that’s even realistic!

Are you hoping for a big elaborate proposal, or a quiet, intimate one?

Post # 14
Member
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@claireos: Right…it’s the proposal you’re trying to to blab about….not the engagment (b/c you already are) or the wedding (because you’re already planning together). Got it.

I thought about asking my bf not to propose in front of people. But I don’t really know what I want, so I figure I’ll just leave it up to him. If he wants family to share the moment, so be it. I have no idea how i’ll feel or react in any situation :/

Post # 15
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

At least you know he has the ring. I went from hinting to my boyfriend to eventually outright forwarding him a link to the ring I like, clarifying the specs and saying, “Here. This one. In your own time,” except, of course, by no means did I mean “in his own time.” My boyfriend is sadly remarkably unpredictable, so whilst I was certain the fact that we’d agreed to get engaged combined with my having sent him the ring details would guarantee the purchase, I really don’t think it’s the case. I’ve been hoping he’d keep his e-mail open so I can check for confirmation of an order, which I finally managed to look at this morning, but NOTHING. I’ve planned endless romatnic meals and weekends away over the coming months to give ample opportunity for a proposal, and since my discovery of his dancing around this very serious issue today, I was forced to make it clear that the ring takes three weeks to be made and delivered (with a hint at the timing of future events). Argh! It is driving me mad! He is JUST the guy to turn around in 6 months time and be like, “Huh? You want to get engaged?” No sh*t, love! At this rate I will be buying the bloody ring myself, and probably marrying myself also,

 

Having said that, though, you being SO CLOSE to the moneyshot must be even more excrutiating. My thoughts are with you.

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