(Closed) Trying not to sound like a total B****

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Have you sat down with your Fiance and really gone over the list?

Post # 4
Member
3942 posts
Honey bee

@MeganTacky2247:He thinks weddings are stupid and if we want to have one, we should pay for it.

Well, I kind of agree. I don’t think weddings are stupid but I also dont think you should get mad that people arent chipping in.

200 people is a LOT of guests. I think its time to each go through your lists and start cutting some people out.

Post # 5
Member
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well – you’re a grown woman.  You can’t really expect anyone else to pay for your wedding except for you and your Fiance.  If someone offers to help, it is a nice bonus.  But no one should be discredited or shunned or punished for not offering.

200 guests is a ton – I think you should BOTH go through your lists and decide who you REALLY want to have there.  That would help with your budget a ton.

Post # 7
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Cut down his side to grandparents, aunt/uncles and first cousins. Let them know how pinched for money you are. If they say anything about your side being larger, say that your grandpa graciously put in money to help defer costs.

Post # 9
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

200 is a ton of people. Unless you have huge families there’s no reason you can’t cut it down! We had to leave some friends off of our list but that’s life.

Here are two great weddings on a budget…

http://www.younghouselove.com/wedding-album/

http://lizcwhite.com/2011/01/17/our-diy-low-maintenance-totally-awesome-wedding/#comments (this is the first part in a series of a few where she goes over some of her wedding costs)

Post # 11
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

My grandpa has given us 4,000.00 and I am paying for the rest.

Why are you paying for the rest?  Isn’t your fiance helping??

Post # 12
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Cut out ur grandpas family please he deserves them to come for caring enough to help out

Post # 14
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m not doing favors at all. I’ve heard that people mostly don’t notice them, forget to take them, or throw them out. What’s the point in spending $100+ on something nobody really notices or cares about?

If it helps you lower your stress level any, you still have plenty of time to tweak the list. My advice is to try to avoid telling anyone that they are for sure invited.

I say something like “we still haven’t worked all the kinks out of the guest list yet, but I’ll keep you updated.” Or tell people you’re trying to keep it small, so you’re not sure who all you’re inviting yet, but that you’ll certainly keep them in mind.

Post # 15
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

As for cutting people, I don’t think it matters that your FI’s dad isn’t paying for anything — your Fiance should still be allowed to invite an equal number of people. If you cut his side, you have to cut your side.

You really need to talk to him and tell him that the guest list is getting out of control. 200 is a LOT of people.

Post # 16
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

Simple, cut the guest list. But make sure you cut it equally from both sides. A $10,000 dollar wedding is more then do able, gosh we are getting married for $3000 and most of that is my dress and photographer. 🙂 If you haven’t seen the person in the last few years, cut them out, nobody is going to get hurt over it, they will understand.  It is your wedding, not your grand fathers and if he gave you money to help that is wonderful of him but that does not entitle him to bring guests that you do not want at YOUR wedding. If he is that demanding then give him his $4000 back.

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