(Closed) Trying to avoid an awkward situation.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d definitely wait until closer to your wedding… you’ll find that some of these issues will resolve themselves ๐Ÿ™‚  If your date is correct (it says July 19) I’d wait until around the holidays to ask anyone to be in your wedding.  I also would not ask anyone to be a “filler” in the wedding party- your Fiance will have to just get over the uneven sides thing.  Tell him that these people are your friends, not props for pictures!

Post # 4
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d say, ask her.  From your email, it sounds like your relationship has been built through her dating a Groomsmen, rather than being a friend with you indendently as a sis of a Bridesmaid or Best Man.  (But correct me if I’m wrong.)  If they do break-up, it seems reasonable that her place in the wedding would come into question, and you can deal with it at that time, with the support of your Bridesmaid or Best Man, her sister, and in consutation with your Fiance and his Groomsmen. 

And maybe they won’t break-up or have any drama.  Perhaps the wedding/commitment atmosphere might be good for their relationship?

I think the main question is, would their bickering and arguments bring un-needed drama to your pre-wedding and wedding events?  That would not be good.

 

Post # 5
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

i would wait as well, your wedding is a long way off and anything could happen. then your stuck with a bm that you never really wanted in the first place

Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Definitely like troubles and danelady’s comments.  I didn’t realize it was so far off! 

Danelady:  “Tell him that these people are your friends, not props for pictures!”  Right on, sista!

Post # 7
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Eois:  lol, thanks ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’d say tell your fiance to get over the matching numbers thing! Especially if it’s just 1 person! I would try to avoid inviting someone that is a potential headache (not because of her but because of the unstable relationship).

Post # 10
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MissPatience:  Most definatly wait, waiting is fine especially in that situation. 

Post # 11
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is your wedding really July 2014? If so ask nobody until Nov/Dec 2013.

Post # 13
Member
2586 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like a recipe for drama.

Your bridesmaids should be your very best friends, family members or girls who may as well be family.  Asking another girl just to even things out, well, thats how a lot of the “should I fire my bridesmaid” post stories begin…

 

Post # 14
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My fiance and I are having uneven numbers because I didn’t want to add people just to add people.  I have a friend that I probably could have asked, but its a simliar situation.  She can be a great friend or sometimes she can cause a whole lot of drama (not with groomsmen but with other BMs) and I just didn’t want to put that stress on ME!  First and foremost, you need to be comfortable, and it sounds like you just wont be comfortable with the “unknowing”. 

Post # 15
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MissPatience:  Even if your wedding is Oct 2013 you should ask people 6-8 months in advance, you still have well over a year. 

Post # 16
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would wait. If you are recently engaged, I know it will be hard not to dive right in and start asking people. But with this situation, you probably should. A lot can happen between the couple from now until then esp if they are a kind of unstable couple. If you truely want to avoid the drama, wait! Though I did find that in order to start wedding planning, you need to have the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses picked so you know where you are going with color. So if you want to get the ball rolling, just ask. But don’t have the BMs get their dresses or anything for some time. On that note, maybe picking those things out now is also too soon for your wedding date. I started making wedding plans shortly after we got engaged and got sidetracked with a new addition to our family. Now that we have gotten back into wedding planning, everything I have picked out is very different from the first time around. People change their minds when given a long period of time to plan!

The topic ‘Trying to avoid an awkward situation.’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors