(Closed) Trying to avoid disaster – should I just let it go?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think that if you’ve tried twice, you need to let it go.  Any more attempts, and she’ll feel like maybe you don’t want her there.

Post # 5
1066 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t persue it. Things are different once you have a baby, but it is her decision to make. I agree with 2dBride.You have tried twice..

Post # 6
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would actually try talking to her again about it one last time. It sounds like the past 2 times you tried to talk about it gently. This time, I wouldn’t be so gentle. I would lay it all out very straightforwardly and see what she has to say. I think you are being a tremendous friend to look out for her best interest the way you are, because you’re right, a new mom probably can’t afford to be out almost $1,000! I certainly wouldn’t be able to! Lay it out as straightforward as you have here and then let her make her decision. If she still decides to go and then at the last minute doesn’t go then that’s totally on her. But I feel that you are being a realist, and this goes beyond there be a wedding, and bridesmaid duties, etc. – this is about being a good friend and looking out for your friend’s best interest, which is what a friend is supposed to do. 

Post # 7
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would be prepared for her to realize at the last minute that she can’t swing it…but you’ve talked to her about it before — twice now. Anything more than that makes it sound like you don’t want her to be there, and since that is manifestly not the case…I think you just have to go with it. You’re a dear friend to be a realist about all of this and to have her best interests at heart…who knows, though, maybe the wedding/vacation is something that is very important to her as a “break” from the new role of motherhood? But you’ve done due diligence, now let her figure it out.


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