(Closed) Trying to be a "lady" in waiting…

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Wow, it sounds like you are going through a really hard time right now. I can’t be of much help, but I can say that even though you and your SO had been through counseling, maybe it’s time for you to just take care of yourself. Even though your relationship might not need fixing, I think you could benefit from talking to someone about what’s going on inside. It sounds like you still have a lot to say, and I don’t think there’s any harm in finding someone to say it to. (In real life. We bees can only do so much.)






Post # 4
2497 posts
Buzzing bee

@kaylaann:  I’m sorry he’s put you through this and made you feel insecure about your relationship. It sounds like he really needs to step up to the plate and gain your trust back. I hope things work out for you.

Post # 5
1339 posts
Bumble bee

I went through something similar with my guy and I’m still waiting. However I know it’s coming very soon. I really should not have taken him back without a ring but we did still have some heart mending to do. Keep working on yourself. Maintain your dignity. Get a project to pass the time and have some faith.

Post # 6
1448 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m sad to hear that you are going through this.  I know how frustrating and heart-wrenching it is.  I know how crazy-making it feels, and it sucks.

I personally would not (and did not) wait for someone who has commitment issues.  That is just a whole sack of potato chips that I do not think is worth dealing with.

I agree with Kit_Kat that you need to take care of yourself right now.  Put your focus on eating right, getting exercise 5 days a week, and doing things that are good for *you*.  Maybe make a plan to get a mini-makeover and some new work clothes or something.  Anything that will help freshen your perspective.  Show the world how you want to be treated by treating yourself the same way.

With my last ex, he had major commitment issues to the point of convincing me that it was a good idea to move half-way across the country for work because he just could not commit to me.  On one hand he would tell me how crazy he was for me and how much he loved me, but on the other he could never call when he promised he would, or meet me online when he said he would, or return my calls.

I took all the time that I was wasting sitting around waiting for him to get online to go to the gym and plot some new outfits.  A month or so later I realized that *random strangers* I was meeting at the dog park or at tango socials were way nicer to me than my own “love of my life” was.  After that realization I knew that I couldn’t be with that person anymore and we broke up (about a year ago this week).

Not long after that one of those ‘random strangers’ from the dog park ended up asking me out, and we’re getting married this November.

I don’t know if this person is for you or not, but taking care of yourself and getting that fresh perspective of something new in your life will help you tremendously.  Good luck!

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