Post # 1
This past weekend I was taken on a surprise weekend adventure time trip by my SO, its not a typical thing as while he’s a last minute kind of guy this isn’t something he does.
Lately he’s been helping me pay my bills and has been very affectionate and full of new energy for our relationship. (its only been 1 1/2 years but in all honesty his roomates are the only ones we know who arent married). He mentioned that he’s helping out so he doesn’t inherit a bunch of debt when I asked him why he was helping me.
The only clues I was given was that we were going somewhere east and that we had a candlelight dinner planned. So not his style. He drove all 9 hours (because he drives a stick) to Mt. Vernon where I wanted to go more than anywhere else in the world. We had a great day touring everywhere but the dinner came and went and I wasn’t really sure what to think but it was in the back of my mind. When nothing happened that night or the next day I found myself disapointed.
I still made sure there was a smile on my face but I feel like crying. I thought he was going to propose last christmas, and once after that, but it all comes and goes and I feel every time like I just become disinterested. Its not the wedding, its the commitment I want to have. We’re both in our mid 20’s and I just don’t understand it.
Post # 3
That sucks. I can see why you thought you knew what was coming. 🙁
Post # 4
I’m sorry that happened to you! I know exactly how you feel. My fiance (who I’ve known for 9 years!) did the exact same thing. There were several times when I thought he was going to propose and didn’t. Finally, I gave him a deadline. I was sick of him leading me on (and he was definitely leading me on, making me think it would happen and then not doing it) and he waited until the VERY LAST DAY of my deadline to do it. Actually, my 3 friends who are married all had to put pressure on their guys the same way I did. I’m not sure why some guys just don’t understand how important it is to us!
Post # 5
@hottlips: That is crazy. And even though it’s only a year and a half, every couple is different so if you both feel ready and have discussed it, that is plenty of time. Have you discussed it with him?
The only thing I can tell you to do is first, find something to distract you, like being here on wedding bee, or something else you like to do that will stretch your patience. I would suggest bringing the topic up to him, but not right away. It needs to come up naturally, and when you are not emotional. That’s why I think you should wait a little bit, so you’re not fresh off of the disappointment of the trip.
In a few weeks when the conversation occurs organically, bring it up. Ask him what timeframe he had in mind for getting engaged. Tell him you’re ready. Not sure if I would mention you were expecting it on the trip…if it’s a lighthearted discussion and you know he won’t have a negative reaction, or feel bad that he let you down, you could mention that. Only you can read the situation. But the object is not to upset him, or pressure him, but have a loving discussion on the topic.
I’m afraid that without having a deliberate conversation with him to make sure you’re on the same page, you will proably not get the comfort you need to be able to wait patiently.
Post # 6
@DaniSue13: Wow, that’s cruel!