(Closed) trying to be patient but I want to cry

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

That sucks. I can see why you thought you knew what was coming. 🙁

Post # 4
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry that happened to you! I know exactly how you feel. My fiance (who I’ve known for 9 years!) did the exact same thing. There were several times when I thought he was going to propose and didn’t. Finally, I gave him a deadline. I was sick of him leading me on (and he was definitely leading me on, making me think it would happen and then not doing it) and he waited until the VERY LAST DAY of my deadline to do it. Actually, my 3 friends who are married all had to put pressure on their guys the same way I did. I’m not sure why some guys just don’t understand how important it is to us! 

Post # 5
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

@hottlips: That is crazy. And even though it’s only a year and a half, every couple is different so if you both feel ready and have discussed it, that is plenty of time. Have you discussed it with him?

The only thing I can tell you to do is first, find something to distract you, like being here on  wedding bee, or something else you like to do that will stretch your patience. I would suggest bringing the topic up to him, but not right away. It needs to come up naturally, and when you are not emotional. That’s why I think you should wait a little bit, so you’re not fresh off of the disappointment of the trip.

In a few weeks when the conversation occurs organically, bring it up. Ask him what timeframe he had in mind for getting engaged. Tell him you’re ready. Not sure if I would mention you were expecting it on the trip…if it’s a lighthearted discussion and you know he won’t have a negative reaction, or feel bad that he let you down, you could mention that. Only you can read the situation. But the object is not to upset him, or pressure him, but have a loving discussion on the topic.

I’m afraid that without having a deliberate conversation with him to make sure you’re on the same page, you will proably not get the comfort you need to be able to wait patiently.

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