Trying to come to terms with changing my last name

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Hostess
3831 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

gwenchilada :  That’s what I’m doing!  My Darling Husband also really wanted me to change my last name, but was completely understanding when I said I’d prefer to do a compound name instead. 

Post # 47
Member
6146 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I wouldn’t marry a man who let his daddy slap my ass, scream at me and call me names. I cannot even believe I read that madness and you are wondering about changing your name. You need to change your man, my friend.

I’d let him know that he’s lucky to have found a woman who wants to be with him so much that you’re willing to put up with his asshole father. And I do not think you should take his name. Future Father-In-Law seems to consider people his possession and I would not be willing to officially become one of his possessions considering how comfortable he’s been with abusing you when you aren’t legally part of his family.

Your FI’s worried about what people think if he were to change his name- he’s clearly not too worried about what you think to bring you around his embarrassment of a father.

You have a power struggle going on and some of the behaviors you described your fiance having are actually not all that dissimilar from the ones your Future Father-In-Law exhibits:

controlling, demanding, demeaning, dismissive.

nope. nope. nope. nope. nope.

Post # 48
Member
593 posts
Busy bee

You’re wearing a name not your Father-In-Law. A name which happens to be of a person you are going to spend your life with. You’re making this about all the wrong people.

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