Post # 1
My fiance and I have been engaged since February. I want to elope and he wants a wedding with family and friends. I understood why he wanted these things so after we got engaged, I started planning a wedding. It was to be a little more non traditional, but still dealing with room blocks at hotels, venue, caterer and all of those things. It got to be too much for me and my family. My parents are not like a lot of brides parents who are excited for their daughter getting married and all of that and it isnt because of my fiance or anything like that. My brother is engaged as well and the only reason they arent fighting that is because they don’t have to be involved in the process. I have been trying to compromise because I really want to marry him sooner then later so I think we decided on a small private ceremony with just grandparents, parents, and siblings. After that, we will have a “recpetion” for our extended family which ends up being about 50 people. I think we will have the recpetion at my parents house. I dont want to spend a lot of money, so I was thinking some easy bbq food, music over the speakers kind of thing. How do I do this type of thing without boring people? What exactly do you have take place at a post-elopement (though I do know it is not technically and elopement) reception? Do we still need to do room blocks at a hotel? Any suggestions on things to do for the ceremony or reception to make sure it is fun and special, that would be great. Also if anyone has any examples of such a situation that would help too, thank you!
Post # 3
@briggsfan0224: Your post “elopement” reception can be whatever you want it to be. My BFF had a semi-destination wedding with just 8 guests (immediate family + me & my SO). They then had a reception back home that was basically like any formal reception without dancing. (Rented a hall, had a cocktail hour, lunch, cake, speeches.) But you could have just a BBQ if that’s what you want. Have some lawn games or just blast some music. It’s just a party! Think of it like any holiday BBQ— you wouldn’t worry that people would “get bored” at your Labor Day BBQ, would you? No. They are going to eat, talk, drink… nothing is different just because you happen to have gotten married.
As for room blocks, that is something nice to do for your guests if you have a lot of people coming from out of town. It usually gets a slight discount on the rooms. However, it is not necessary even if you were having a traditional wedding. Don’t sweat it. People can google a hotel themselves.
Post # 4
Seriously, do it. Hubbs wanted a wedding, I wanted to elope. Pretty much every day since our wedding he’s told me that I was right and we should have eloped.
The whole point is to make this as simple as possible. Don’t bother with room blocks. People are more than capable of booking a hotel. Borrow a bunch of crock pots, make a shit-ton of pulled pork and baked beans, Buy some buns and some veggie trays. Worried about boring people? Get a keg. Seriously.
People just simply won’t be bored if there are other people to talk to, some music in the background, simple food and a wedding album to pass around.
We did two (2!!!) post-wedding BBQs and they both worked out great and were nice and simple. Everyone had a good time and all was grand. I’m so glad we didn’t stress about them (the wedding, on the other hand…)
Post # 5
@briggsfan0224: first and foremost I see this is your DEBUT post, so a BIG Welcome to “The Hive”
Mr TTR & I Eloped to a Destination Wedding (just the 2 of us saying our Vows on a Beautiful Beach) then we went on our Honeymoon… and after all that we had a Back Home Reception
It was great… we had the Wedding we wanted (we are both Encores) and yet we still had time to celebrate with Family & Friends too… the best of BOTH Worlds, and fairly low stress
When it comes to a Back Home Reception or Post Wedding Celebration you can make it however you like… there are no HUGE Rules from an Etiquette POV. You can go BIG or Small, Formal or Informal, Wedding-like or not. The choice is yours.
Backyard Receptions can be AWESOME… one of the Blogging Bees MRS BEANSTALK had one last year that was fabulous, I’ll see if I cannot find the link for you…
Ooops, I meant MRS DRAGON… here you go to the links to her various Blog Entries = http://www.weddingbee.com/author/msdragon/#axzz2k63qg4Bf
Hope this helps,
Post # 6
Apart from the fact that a relatively intimate, family only wedding isn’t an elopement – because that’s what we had and for sure we did not elope! – I think what you plan is a great compromise. I’d aim at keeping any post-wedding celebration as informal as possible though and that avoids hotel blocks and the like. A BBQ would be great and lay in supplies of wine and beer. Stick some music on an iPod and don’t worry about people being bored either.
Post # 7
@Steampunkbride: An elopement doesn’t necessarily mean just bride and groom. In Oregon, you have to have 2 witnesses; doesn’t make it any less an elopement.
Post # 8
@Kimberley25: Fair point. But a small, family only wedding ceremony is not necessarily an elopement either. We didn’t elope. We just had an intimate ceremony because of the capacity of the venue.
Post # 9
No one needs to do a room block. Some couples do it because they think they can get a discount for their guests. Some do it because they want all their guests staying close together for issues like visiting and shuttles.
Your guests are adults and presumaby most of them have travelled before. They can make their own reservations, and often can get a cheaper rate online than you can get them in a room block. Some guests appreciate it if you can recommend hoels in several different price categories.
You don’t need to plan anything other than good food and beverages for your guests. People love to socialize. If the weather is good and it is an outdoor wedding, you could have some games available like croquet, bocce etc.
You can still do the speeches, cake cutting, the bouquet and garter toss if you likethat sort of thing.
Post # 10
@Steampunkbride: I agree. My first marriage was an intimate wedding (about 20 guests), my second an elopement.
Post # 11
I like the idea of the reception after for the family folks. There’s no reason you can’t have both. Also, what about a really casual, non traditional wedding (without all the room blocking, etc) where you just let people know your plan and invite them to tag along if they wish?
Post # 12
@briggsfan0224: Do a destination wedding where you live. You get the small all-in-one intimate feeling, but you can still invite a close group of family and friends. If you still want to you can have a larger casual party afterward.
Post # 13
Hahahahah you’re hilarious
“Worried about boring people? Get a keg. Seriously.”