Post # 1
I am 31 years old and tried to conceive for 5 months, got pregnant and am currently miscarrying.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation?
I know I need to try to conceive again to get my baby. I found trying to conceive very emotionally challenging as every month went by I thought something was wrong with me. I am annoyed I didn’t start trying in my late 20’s as my husband and I have been together a long time.
There are so many ‘what ifs’ about trying to conceive. I feel like everyone around me is pregnant. I’m struggling.
Anyone want to share their story? Are you in your thirties? How long did it take you? Any miscarriages?
Post # 2
Not much of a story here, but I’m almost 34 and I haven’t even started to TTC yet. I’ve always known I want children, and lots of them, but I wanted to do things in the “right” order and it took a long time for me to find the right person and get married. So, I hope you don’t feel “old” at 31, because I think you have plenty of time.
There are lot of women in your exact situation both on this board and real life. What you are dealing with is so tough, but it may help you to remember that the vast majority of them go on to have healthy babies.
Post # 3
I have not had this experience personally but I have two friends who did. One is 33 and took three years to conceive her first and had her son this year after a miscarriage last year. Another is 35 and had two miscarriages between her first and second son, who was born last year.
Five months and a miscarriage is a lot to go through emotionally, so I am sending hugs. I cannot imagine what you are going through and my heart is breaking for you. I will note many healthy couples take up to a year to conceive. Miscarriage is painfully common, and I hope people are able to talk more openly about them as time goes on.
I say this to share support and sending all the best wishes for you and your TTC plans ❤️❤️
Post # 4
I have no experience but I would just like to say – I’m so sorry Bee :(. I wish only the best of things for you on your TTC journey.
Post # 5
In the last year or so I had a handful of CPs and a MMC while TTC. I’m the same age as you. It was disheartening and hard, but we kept trying. We were pretty lucky and it took us 6 months from the MMC to get pregnant with one that stuck. What helped me was to step back a bit on all the TTC stuff. I stopped following forums and thinking about it all the time. I used ovulation sticks to help track my cycle and we just made sure to have sex every other day for the days around ovulation. Aside from that, I stopped myself from symptom spotting or taking pregnancy tests the week before I was due. We focused on other nice things to do and tried to enjoy the time as it went by. This process is not easy on the mind, hormones, or body. Try to be kind and gentle to yourself.
Post # 6
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t beat yourself up for not trying sooner. Becoming a parent is a huge change to your life and you were right to wait until you were ready. I met my husband at 21 and we didn’t start trying until 30.
Unfortunately miscarriage is very common and not talked about enough. But there is a very high chance that you will go on to have a normal healthy pregnancy.
5 months is also not unusual (though I know the waiting is frustrating) and it can take healthy couples 12 months to conceive.
I had a miscarriage at Christmas and it was a horrible experience. I found the lack of information and open conversation about the subject really frustrating.
I was lucky and got pregnant immediately before I even got my next period and I’m currently 24 weeks. However, it’s totally normal for it to take a bit longer for your body to regulate.
Make sure you take the time you need to recover both physically and emotionally.
I hope you get your sticky baby soon.
Post # 7
Yes. I am in my 30s and miscarried late last year. We only took 2 months to get pregnant, which was a short time, but miscarried at 13.5 weeks. We weren’t successful in the three months after the miscarriage, and now we are having a 3 month break from trying for various reasons. Even in that short time, I’ve found the waiting and hoping very hard. And the miscarriage truly awful. Hugs.
Planning to throw everything at it when we start trying again soon!
Edited to say – after the miscarriage, we waited a month to start trying again on medical advice. But now I realise that they mostly recommend that to make dating conception easier, and not for health reasons. I wish that I’d started trying again immediately after the miscarriage.
Post # 8
I’m so sorry bee. I had a miscarriage when I was 32 when we began trying for baby #1. It’s very common, but that doesn’t necessarily make it easier when it’s happening to you. Fortunately, I conceived my rainbow baby three months later, who is now a healthy seven-month old.
I found statistics sort of comforting during this time. The vast majority of women who have a miscarriage will go on to have a healthy pregnancy. In fact, most doctors view one miscarriage as a “net positive” because it means you can get pregnant. (I know it doesn’t feel like that now.)
Other things that helped me emotionally were journaling about my feelings, which were all over the map when it first happened. Also, I bought an ornament (I miscarried right before Christmas) as a sort of symbol of my baby/the pregnancy, and it brought me some comfort to hang it on the tree. There are also some great online support groups for miscarriages on Babycenter that it might be worth checking out. It was therepeutic for me to talk to other people going through it at the same time.
Post # 9
I had a miscarriage last fall at ~8 weeks at the age of 31. We then tried for 6 months before conceiving again and I’m now 16 weeks with everything looking healthy.
The first 3 months after the loss weren’t too stressful but as the months creeped up I found it very challenging not to get anxious and worried. In our 6 month my doctor scheduled me for bloodwork to do basic fertility testing but I ended up conceiving that month and so never went through with the bloodwork.
I feel for you Bee – TTC is incredibly frustrating when you’re not one of those women who it just happens for. My sister got pregnant in that post-MC period on her first month trying and 3 of my friends announced pregnancies. It was SO hard and it felt like my time was never going to come.
Once I did conceive, I found it very hard to let myself get excited about the pregnancy as a self-defense mechanism in case of another MC. MC’s are way more common than you would think but it doesn’ tmake them any less impactful on each woman who experiences one.
Big hugs to you. If you are MC-ing naturally (vs D&C) I would personally recommend trying again right away if you’re emotionally up for it. The doctor’s typically recommend a month purely for dating purposes…I”d rather have the baby and need to use ultrasounds to date it than prolong waiting to conceive. D&C’s are a bit different as you do want to give your body a bit of time to heal and recover from the procedure (we waited a month).
Post # 10
I had 1 MC at 28 years old and couldn’t get pregnant again. It’s now 2.5 years later and I am finally pregnant again (7w5d) thanks to IVF.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of women who have miscarriages. Luckily, many go on to get pregnant again. It takes a healthy couple up ot 12 months to get pregnant… so even though it was hard on you, 5 months really isn’t a long time. 31 may seem old, but you are still considered young by doctors!
I would keep trying and if you struggle to concieve over the next year, definitely go talk to an RE. If you continue to have miscarriages, go to see someone sooner.
Best of luck, bee! I know how hard it can be!
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2017 - Nashville, TN
I’m 38 and I’ve had 3 miscarriages in the last 4 years. It’s been a year since the last miscarriage and still no luck 🙁
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am 31. I started trying when I was 29, miscarried right after my 30th birthday at almost 12 weeks, then had a CP in October 🙁 No luck since.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2017 - California
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a really hard time, so try to do some self care and distract yourself as much as possible. It’s really tough to not think about it constantly though. I had an MC in January around 8 weeks and am on cycle 4 of trying again. I am 35 and was 34 when we started NTNP and had the miscarriage. Try not to think about it as a missed opportunity to start earlier. There are many reasons why some women don’t start earlier and there is nothing wrong with waiting until the time is right for you. Yes, age makes it harder but there are plenty of women in their early and mid thirties who have babies.
Post # 14
I’m 36. Had my first at almost 35 (took us 5 cycles, no losses). Earlier this year, I had two back to back early miscarriages. We took a month off trying, but I ended up ovulating a week early and I’m now pregnant with twins. Miscarriages are awful, but it’s a sign you can get pregnant. They are also terribly, terribly common. It’s a shame women don’t feel more comfortable being open about it because I think it would help us all to know how common they really are (it’s one thing to know the stats, another to hear people talk about their own experiences).
Only you know when the time is right to start again, but there is some evidence that you’re more fertile in the months following a miscarriage.
Post # 15
Yes, here’s a happy story! Miscarriages , esp the first are so common!! Don’t feel like anything is ‘wrong’ with your body. It most likely isn’t and it was just a chromosonal issue. Take care of yourself right now, watch some good HAPPY movies, read some uplifting books, have a glass of wine.
I had 3 MCs in my early to mid 30s in a row, testing came back inconclusive. I told myself that we would try ONE more time naturally and I’m holding my little 🌈 right now.
The only thing that I did differently after reading on recurrent Mc stories was- I took coenzymeQ10 600mg daily 3 months before ttc, started taking a baby aspirin daily after my bfp, was on progesterone supplements for the first 14 weeks. Seemed to do the trick! Could have been luck but I have a strong feeling the baby aspirin helped the most. I took it all the way through the pregnancy until the day I delivered.