(Closed) Trying to convince a friend not to spend so much on a ring…

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would just stay out of it. It’s his money, he can spend it as he likes. Even though I feel like you’re right, it’s a bad idea to wipe out your bank account for a piece of jewelry.

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Not a good financial idea, but it’s his decision to make in the end. I think you should let him know your opinion to try and steer him in the right direction, but don’t harp on him about it. It’s his money and he can spend it whatever way he wants.

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

“Should we just butt out?”

Yes.

Post # 6
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Don’t tell him not to. You’re right that it’s none of your business. Whether it’s an engagement ring or something else, what he spends his money on is up to him. However, since he did ask for your FI’s opinion, I don’t think a comment to the effect of “that’s really nice, but have you considered XYZ option, too?” and then point him in the direction of Blue Nile.

Also, your inclusion of the information about her not knowing that he is ring shopping is so weddingbee influenced. It is not unusual for guys to just propose on their own without a waiting period or without her say in the ring! To that information, I say, so what?

Post # 7
Member
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I also think its best to stay out of it unless he is explicitly asking you guys for your opinions.

Post # 8
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Agree with PP’s, absolutely none of your business.

Post # 9
Member
3166 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

yeah, i’d butt out. if he’s looking for help on what’s appropriate or expected, you can help clarify the debeers myths (ex. should cost 3 months salary), but i wouldn’t tell him that what he wants to get her is too expensive.

Post # 10
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yeah, sorry, not your place. It sounds like he asked for an opinion about the diamond and your Fiance already mentioned the cost being a lot, so at this point, it’s his money to spend. For a pretty good quality diamond of that size, 13K doesn’t seem completely off (of course, that’s subjective). I would only interject strongly if you feel as if he’s being ripped off for the diamond quality he would be receiving.

Post # 12
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

This is none of your business. A few family members tried to talk Darling Husband out of buying me the ring that I have and it completely pissed him off, not to mention me. He spent most of his savings on my ring and we still managed to have a beatiful wedding and buy a very nice home. It’s one thing if you have a good jewler that you want to recommend who might be able to give him a better deal on the ring that he wants (not the one you want him to buy). Also if it’s a flawless D diamond, 13k is a reasonable market price.

Post # 13
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Sorry – it’s totally not your business – stay out of it!

Post # 14
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would stay out of it if possible, its his money that he worked very hard to earn and he wishes to spend it on a piece of jewerly to show his committment even though most people would probably put it towards a downpayment for something. Instead of telling him he’s spending to much. Maybe mention he should shop around for diamond prices since most places mark their diamonds up 200-300% he can really find a good deal for what he’s looking for. Just because its a good deal doesn’t make the diamond any less special… (check online theres a ton of BBB qualified vendors that sell diamonds at a less marked up price)’

theres http://www.since1910.com they have pretty good prices and they give discount to people in the military

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Send him some links to Good Old Gold, Whiteflash and Blue Nile, then let him do is thing.

Post # 16
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I kind of disagree.   It’s not really your place, but I think you should at least tell the guy that he should talk to his girlfriend about ring sizes and styles.  Some women wouldn’t want a ring that large, and some might be upset that so much money was spent.  This might just be me, but I think this is a huge financial decision.  I wouldn’t buy a car or a flat screen even without talking to my FH about it.  I don’t get why this is any different.

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