Post # 1
My reasons to elope:
1. Fiance wants to get married in New York ( we are in the UK). he is not traditional, religious or very family oriented at all.
2. I have a monster in law who will likely make things a nightmare, since she hates me and doesn’t want her little boy (who is 34, for heavens sake) to leave her.
3. My parents are divorced and haven’t been in the same room since, and my family is huge.
4. We don’t have a massive budget.
5. I have mental health issues, the task of planning a wedding is already making me a little unhinged.
However even though it makes sense to elope and have a party for our families when we get back, I still find myself second guessing whether we should opt for the traditional wedding here. When I mention marrying abroad to my family they seem a bit perturbed, no one is angry but people all say they will get on for a day if we need them to.
I know it’s not an easy decision to make, but how did people decide their elopement?
Post # 3
@Titania26: Hi! I understand what you’re going through!! My husband and I eloped because I was 8 weeks preggo and didn’t want a maternity wedding. He promised we’d have a “real” wedding after the baby, but it didn’t happen. Life got in the way. So… 10 yrs later we’re finally doing it.
If you want to elope but still have the party, do both! Run away and get the nervous part out of the way then come home and party with family and friends! But honestly you have to do whatever you’re most comfortable with. You’re no less married without a wedding 🙂
Post # 4
I think eloping and then having a party when you get back is a good compromise. You owe it to yourselves to do what YOU want! I firmly believe that having the wedding you want (not what others want) sets the precedent for the rest of your lives- meaning you call the shots, not others (although taking their feelings into consideration is always gracious.) From what you’ve said about your situation, family and otherwise, I believe eloping would make you happiest. Good Luck!
Post # 5
Reading your situation, I’d say getting married in NYC would be great. You still have to “plan”, but it would be much less stressful for you. If the family wants to help plan with the party, who cares. You are already married to your man. It’s a vacation and joining of lives in one trip. I like the idea.
Post # 6
Post # 7
I’m in waiting but, because of recent events, I think I’ll be saying “I do” this year. I’m hoping in October which means we’ll have to elope. There’s lots of family/ friends that would need to fly on short notice if there were to be a full out wedding. We talked about suprising our parents with flights to Toronto and we’ll elope there with them present. (I’m an only child and his mom has kept the umblilical chord, so we want to try to make it special for them too) Next summer we’ll have a “celebration” with all the friends & family.
This way there’s no pressure of having everything perfect for everyone else. Just us 🙂 We’ve been together for 7 years and we’re both over 30…we just want to make it official 🙂
Post # 8
My first wedding was big
This my second wedding will be the complete opposite
It is just the two of us Eloping for a Destination Wedding… so much less stress (and less family drama too… the first wedding was a Pain in the butt in that regard)
I am very much looking forward to this wedding, just the two of us… very romantic.
For us the decision was made because of the fact that it just made sense. Both Hubby-2-B and I have been married before (divorces) and we have grown children in their 20s and 30s who for the most part do their own thing a majority of the time.
Truly didn’t think they’d want to “tag along” with us to any Wedding, let alone a Destination one.
After all that the two of us have been thru in life (I’m over 50, he’s over 60) we do appreciate what we’ve found in each other, and are quite happy to make our vows to one another in relative solitude (we take this stuff quite seriously I might add)
And after that we can just get on with the FUN of our Honeymoon.
And after we get back home we are going to throw a Back-Home Reception for our Friends & Family, and have some more FUN celebrating how great it is to have all these people in our lives, and truly happy for us.
PS… I made a TO DO LIST, and although there are still things that have to get done to plan our Elopement / Destination Wedding… let me tell you that the list is minute compared to the one I had for my first full-blown affair… no wonder Brides have Engagements of a Year or Longer, when you are planning a BIG Wedding there is just sooo much to do (and that is where a great majority of the stresses come from)
Something to think about.
Post # 9
We are actually doing a parents/siblings only civil ceremony where we live and then “eloping” to Bora Bora. I was planning a big wedding, but I just couldn’t get into it, we have both been married before and had the big wedding before. Basically what it came down to was money. It was going to be approx $6K for a bare bones wedding that neither of us were very enthusiastic about so we decided to take that money and use it for our Honeymoon and just get married there. I felt bad about not including my parents and the process to legally get married in FP is a pain so we decided on the parents/sibling only legal ceremony in the States and then do a ceremony with the dress and the pictures and all that on Bora Bora.
It has been a great decision so far…so much less stressful!
Post # 10
Oo! I think it would be incredibly fun and romantic to elope in NYC!